Redhawk Caldera i'd give my life

If he'd been in a different head space, Peregrine might have really enjoyed guiding Pan into this. It would be a unique opportunity, essentially getting to mold his lover into whatever he wanted. However, the Alpha just wasn't in the mood. And when Pan confessed he didn't know how, Peregrine just wasn't feeling up to the level of effort required to show him.

"Don't worry about it," he said. He fell silent, then added, "Besides, I want to be totally in the moment with you when we finally get to that point. I don't want a pity fuck. I want us to both fully want it, so we can enjoy ourselves." He flashed Pan a quick smile before his face rearranged itself back into a stoic mask.

"I think I'm going to sleep for a bit." It was his only escape, even if he was more restless than tired. "I'll try to eat a bit when I wake up. I don't mean to shit on your gift, Pan. Sorry." He meant his apology in general. He wished he had better control over his emotions right now but the vision loss was getting the better of him for sure.

He fell quiet for good, letting his chin drift to rest atop his paws, and closed both eyes. I wonder if I could sleep with the left open, he mused darkly, then mercifully fell asleep within minutes.