sucks to be you

He ignored her defensive teeth as he lathered her with his own version of brotherly affection. A nudge. A sniff. A lick of his tongue here and there as he made small, physical promises and gestures as to how much her furry white ass meant to him. No amount of bitchiness or sass could dissuade him away from the wolf he'd come to know as a good friend. Nanuk or Kroc or whatever she wished to call herself was a very important wolf within his world. He didn't say it much, but here and now, when it counted, he wasn't going to let her forget how much he appreciated her.

She spoke. The words upon her lips were echoes of sentiment he was feeling about himself. "I know," he said softly, relenting on his affection, but not moving from her. With Nanuk trapped beneath his body he could cling to the illusion that she would stay. He wasn't moving until they'd said all there was to be said. "I failed him too."

Kanik's loss stung hard. There'd been promise in his youthful energy and though they'd not met but upon a couple of occasions, taking him in had felt something akin to adopting another son. He'd seen in that wolf what he wished to see in his own children when they were grown. While Nanuk had never spoken of family, it was clear to him that she too felt strongly about that wolf. His loss had been sudden. It had been unexpected. It was something that could have, no, should have been prevented. And they'd failed. They'd all failed.

"You. Me. The rest of the pack." He turned his eyes elsewhere as he searched for the words. "We patrol. We hunt. We guard. We defend." These were all things she knew. "We've done all of those things as diligently as we can given this new terrain, but we don't really understand our new home." No... It was evident now they didn't know this place at all. "That coyote attack wasn't natural. They don't form groups that large unless they're hunting and never to go after wolves. None of us would have considered anything like that. Don't you dare place the blame all on you. We are all equally guilty of it."

He exhaled sharply. His teeth grit for just a moment in his anger. She wasn't allowed to shoulder the blame for any of it. She hadn't invited the coyotes here anymore than the next wolf. "You weren't shortsighted then, but you will be now if you leave us. There is no wolf in this pack who guards borders quite so well as you. Walk out now and you leave our defenses weaker than before and wide open for any predator to pick off whoever they please." His words were sharp, crisp.

"You want to make amends? You want to give Kanik's sacrifice meaning? You stay here. You suck it up, throw away your self-pity, and give it all a reason to make things better. Damn it, Kroc. You are beta here. Running away fixes nothing. It makes it worse. Stop throwing yourself a pity party and start leading expeditions through the Spire so every wolf knows this land from top to bottom and back again. And if you can't do that for yourself? Do it for me."