Redhawk Caldera Exes and ohs

There you go, you screwed it up again, Pantaleimon thought to himself with he showed no more than a frown on his face and a placid expression in his eyes. It had been difficult to say the words at all — not because Pan didn't want to face that he wasn't the real parent, because he knew that, but because he was afraid for the reaction — and now it felt like any more would be doubly hard. Pantaleimon focussed on breathing as to not lose control of himself and his emotions, but it was getting increasingly harder.

"What if I don't want all that?" Pan murmured. "What if this is enough for me?" Even if he only had Perry half of the year, it was still better than nothing. And even if he wouldn't be a real parent to the puppies, Pantaleimon still longed to be close to them. If he didn't have Perry — and Redhawk Caldera — Pan wasn't sure where he'd even go, or what he'd do. Reek had a whole life where he lived now, and his mate hated Pan. And the last thing Pan wanted was to leave Perry's side, anyway.

Of course it wouldn't ever be truly enough not to be Perry's first and only love, but Pantaleimon had learned to roll with the punches of life. And he knew from experience that things didn't get much better than the past rollercoaster months he'd spent with Perry. He didn't want to lose the bliss that life had thrown at him for the first time in his life.