Firefly Glen rocks in the water

Pantaleimon wasn't much of a natural when it came to talking about feelings: while he had a lot of feels, they often refused to come out, and he wasn't sure how to make them without being overwhelmed and dwindling in negative circles, nor did he really know how to talk about them. He naturally wanted to relieve others of their burdens instead of adding to them, too, which didn't help.

Yet when Roz offered a listening ear, he gratefully took it, knowing that maybe an outsider's view was what he needed (forgetting for a moment that Roz knew Fox). "Well, uhm... I have this — this thing with uhm, Perry." Pan didn't remember if he'd told Roz before and he looked to see her reaction. "And he's also got a mate and they're going to have more pups and I guess I sort of imagined I'd be kind of like a parent to them too, but..." Pan trailed off after saying all that in one breath, not even sure how to describe the problematic of the 'but'. "I don't know what to do, uhm... not sure if they really.. know.. what they want. I mean, I want to be a m-uhm, a parent, but I dunno if I'll ever even meet a girl who'll want... me." Pantaleimon looked at the ground, feeling like a dumb idiot for many reasons — for holding out for Perry, for wanting things that he simply could not have and that would never happen, and for not being happy enough with the things he did have. There was a twinge of guilt too, as he said it, because he knew that he didn't really want a girl. He wanted Perry, and to be the girl. He couldn't really tell Roz that, though.