Greatwater Lake A silent heart ticking under the ground

Her response could have wounded him, yet it elicited another bark of dry laughter. "Because you asked, fuckwit," he replied without missing a beat. He felt a calm settling in his breast. "I think it's time I just admitted the truth to myself," he added, letting his voice trail off suggestively. Peregrine wished he could read Fox's mind in that very instant, see what she thought he was going to say and her innermost reaction to it. "I think of you as a friend," he finished, eyes sparkling dimly. "A real, true blue pal. And isn't that what friends do? Tell each other about their problems?"

He regarded her for a long moment. She was very pretty and he still felt an attraction to her, no doubt about it now. And Peregrine could see himself making a move on her, seeking companionship in the face of his lacking marriage, and perhaps even starting a whirlwind affair. Yet both Hawkeye and Fox deserved better than that. And Peregrine liked to think he was a good man, one who ruled his impulses rather than the other way around. He was an honorable, faithful spouse, even in the bitterest "or worse" phases.

The most compelling factor was his children, though; he couldn't do anything that might hurt them, especially unnecessarily. Maybe, if he and Hawkeye ended up splitting (the thought made his stomach pinch), he could pursue Fox... but only if he felt it wouldn't harm his children to do so. And that hypothetical day was far off in some hazy future. He could fantasize all he wanted, yet Peregrine knew he wouldn't act on his feelings, strong as they were, and he would do his best to reign in his behavior and treat Fox like what he'd just labelled her: a friend.

"My sister is very wise and she told me that only Hawkeye and I can sort out those issues; she's right. But that is why I probably look like my pet goldfish just died," Peregrine said in an explanatory tone. "Enough about my bullshit, though. What's up in the life of Lil' Weenie? And why are you all the way out here?"