Broken Antler Fen let's show them we are better

He was bitterly honest, his words cutting. She did not speak, merely listened, and when his words came to an end she was silent. For a while she stood thus, quieted by his sincere honesty. He wanted to be something, and she wanted to, too. She did, though the prospect was like a yawning cavern before her, immense and frightening. 

"I've- I've always been proud to be logical. Cold, removed. I thought it was a sign of strength. Keep my distance, and I would have nothing to loose." she began, words soft and faltering. It was on this belief she had operated most of her life; what her upbringing and her own morals had led her to believe. She had scorned emotion, held it as a weakness, for she did not know how she ought to even handle such a thing. But then came the anger, and she could not hold it back, and it flowed and burst through her like water through a weakened dam. "Emotions were weak, to me. Logic...would make the best decisions, always." she elaborated half-heartedly, trying to find the words to explain what she was thinking, feeling.

"You...you were different. You made me feel...different. And I had no idea what to do. How to handle these feelings I had thought of as weak." She fell silent, not sure where or how to continue. But her next words came rushed, unfiltered. "I hurt people. The Court, strangers, I hurt them. Because there was an anger, and it demanded to be let out." She said, not even sure where her words were going anymore, how they sounded, what to do. For one of the rare times in her life, she was at a loss. remembering the day that Arthendal had fallen, the failure and bitterness she felt, the rage that had followed as she failed to sort through these feelings, the rage that had her attack the court. and she had thought- "I thought you'd be better off without me" she admitted, words hollow. "But...I wouldn't." Was that selfish?

"I want to be...something, too. I do. But..." she was terrified. That she would do wrong, that she would hurt him, That she had already hurt him. Of finally feeling, letting go of her masks and facades and coldness and her nature that had always been just out of reach. Of changes, because even though she had felt all these months that she had, had she really?