What she loved most about him was his laugh. Yes, she was captivated by the cold blueness of his eyes, but there was something about his laugh that soothed her. It wrapped her in a blue darkness and quieted the hot red noise in her heart--and more yet, forced her to think beyond herself. Feeling her own facial features tigthen as he admonished her once more for crying, she stubbornly refused to bat away the tears that had begun to streak down her cheeks and collected on the tip of her chin. He once more proclaimed that he was an "honest wolf," but she could only shake her head at the deceit. Honest. Yes, he was saying what he frankly felt, but there was so much that he held back. She could feel it, an impenetrable wall forcing it way through the darkness. It separated her from him. As she lost sight of him, he became more and more of a shadow. His last words seemed to her like a wisp, and in that same instant, it vanished. Choked out of existence. She rebelled against his so-called freedom. He was not being honest. This was not freedom. It was a shucking of responsibilities. Pale green eyes now glossy but tearless, the little red wolf spoke: "You may be honest, but it means nothing when you don't do anything about it." If it would have been dishonest of him to tell her to go away, then he should have been honest and told her he wanted her to stay--and to keep her. Instead, he gave her some silly choice, as if it were a choice at all. For if he were not willing to pursue her, then what more was there to decide? She was not worthy enough of his pursuit and unwanted. With an ugly frown that wrinkled her face, she suppressed it with a smile. "Go away. We are nothing more than shadows to each other. Never look for me. This 'pretty face' will never cry for you again." Even though she was no longer shouting, she felt her heart feeding on her bitterness, and she knew that it was wrong. But she could not help it, or so she believed, and so she continued to feed until she was gorged on this hatred "Go!" she urged as tears once more threatened her eyes. She was also honest and would not break her promise to never show weakness to him again. But inside, she lied. Inside, she wept. |