Otter Creek Put on my thinking cap

"I know....I've been meaning to tell you" was the first thing he said to her. It didn't register in her mind properly at first but when it did she was still momentarily confused. Did Mawk confront him and Howl wanted to break it off? He continued speaking and her mind went blank for a moment, only registering everything he said but no reaction being given or shown on her expression. She had no right to be mad at him, especially when she had a mate and she'd known what she did was wrong. Howl had merely went behind the back of a female who he shared feelings with but not a real bond, like them. Even so her eyes flashed and ears went back and to the sides showing obvious displeasure. If she had known about Brynn she probably would have backed off, apologised and excused herself. The kiss never would have happened and there wouldn't be such a mess.

Slowly she lowered her haunches to the ground, eyes fierce and flashing as they stared directly at him. His confession continued on to have him admit that before both her and Brynn there had been yet another woman he had met and connected with. She slowly exhaled and looked down, mind racing. In her home pack men were shunned, but the women had many chosen breeding slaves to produce strong heirs. Was Howl trying to collect many women for that reason? She quickly dismissed that idea, he was too nice and genuine to ever want that type of thing. Maybe he just loved many women and wanted to treat them all as mates, she could sort of see that working. For her it would never work out, even though she was packmates with Brynn and would probably get along with her she was too possesive of her mates. When his apology was uttered she looked up, a sharp and angry look was given befoe she averted her eyes and spoke "That's not at all what I wanted to say Howl" she said in a surprisingly soft voice.

" A few nights after we kissed I began to remember Mawk and with the memories came pieces of myself that loved Mawk. I woke up from a particularly steamy one and went off to search for one of you. Mawk found me and for some reason it all just burst out. I confessed I love you and that we kissed" she felt her voice began to shake and she fell silent, looking back up at him and meeting his gaze. He would see the pain and regret in her gaze clear as day. "He was wounded, he began to avoid me, couldn't look at me or speak to me. I wanted to beg forgiveness but I was too proud. I avoided him too. Then I realised that the memories and Love for Mawk did nothing to rid me of my feelings for you. They're still here, I do still love you Howl but I wish you had told me of Brynn and the other woman. I don't share, I can't share. I am not someone who can do that even though I love you." the words spilled out before her voice cracked and she looked away, paws flexing so her nails dug into the dirt. 

"Mawk is my first love and mate so i can't give you advice on what you are doing. However, it is best to tell everyone now rather then drag it out. If Brynn can share and the other woman agrees, i don't see why you can't have both of them. You just...you can't have me. We'll be friends...act like the kiss never happened. Mawk needs me and... i need him." she finished finally, her heart squeezing in an odd flash of pain. She felt like she had just done something terrible, but she knew it was the proper thing to do.