Dragoncrest Cliffs i don't know that my mom loves me anymore

she’s gotten good over the years shying away her emotion, training to have a stoic face all the time. a judge amongst wolves to make the safest, unbiased opinion. for a while, a little red wolf clouded her judgement and though she can compartmentalize the hurt and angry into something cold and small, she can’t say the same for her children.

tux puts on a strong face as much as he wants but the transparency he hasn’t learned to hide. silkie has been avoiding her. blixen, however, leans right into her and she’s warmed only slightly. she allows herself this softness. she cannot depend on wildfire to take care of the children they’ve created, to be the softer side of their relationship when they hurt. again, she must console her their children when their mother has left them. this time, she is all they have left and she knows now she’ll never put another child through it.

antumbra clenches her jaw as her daughter speaks in apologies, whispering hurting words into her shoulder. she turns her head and cleans at the fur behind her ears in an attempt to soothe her. she knows she’s not good at it.

”do not apologize, or blame yourself. it is not your fault bat went missing,” she says. if anyone, she blames wildfire but she’s not going to deface the woman anymore than she already has done to herself. ”and it is not your fault your mother left.”

in the wake of her return, she’s forgotten about furi (mallaidh?). it had been sitting there patiently waiting since she’d stopped at the maplewood and their leader had spoken of her. as blixen explains, everything sort of falls into place. she doesn’t object to the decision, for it is too late now. antumbra could chase her away but she suspects blixen has done what she needed and if the girl continued to help the family, she’d allow it under a watchful eye.

”she will be your responsibility until i know she’s loyal,” she tells her. some decisions she has to learn from and if furi turns tail and runs away, she’ll understand too. outsiders are hard to trust but if the girl breaks blixen’s heart again, antumbra will physically remove furi’s.

in the wake of wildfire and kiwi’s departure, she doesn’t find it in herself to critique the smaller parts of blixen’s leadership skills. blixen did the best with what she could and a situation that hadn’t been kind to her.

”i want to know more about what happened, and what you’ve done, but know that i am very proud of you. you stepped up. you did your best. and i want you stay on with me and dio, for a little while,” she starts to explain. ”i want to help teach you more about leading because i want you to lead your own branch.”