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| There were many things on his mind, heaviness of Bragi's departure from the Bay though Ragnar had made no attempts to stop his son — it was strange to think it, to acknowledge and accept it even when the boy childishly denied it with every fiber of his being. Yet, that was what Bragi was: a child. If he felt that he needed to leave the Bay to find his own path as most Rekkr's did, if time away from him was what he needed to realize and accept the truth (though Ragnar had not told him that he was his father) then Ragnar would not stand in his way. The boy was old enough to hunt for himself, to fend for himself and perhaps Sveið would have been furious with Ragnar for letting Bragi go. In fact, Ragnar almost knew that she would be; but Bragi would be a man soon and needed to be allowed to make his own decisions without his parents making them for him. So he could join any pack except the Isle and if it didn't work out, Bragi knew that Ragnar would welcome him back. A small part of him had hoped that the child would stay, that he would be able to speak with him not as Alpha and Subordinate but as Father and Son and that Bragi could be something of a role model for Ragnar's adopted children, and his future blood children to come.
Now, he did not look for that to be in the cards unless for some reason Bragi decided to stop running away from the truth and accept it.
Still, like any father, Ragnar worried about him and worried what Thistle might do to him if he spilled his secret to her. That he had taken and given the famous shield maiden his seed and that Bragi was the product of that blood frenzied, Berserker mushroom induced night. It was the same reason he did not broach the subject of a polygamy relationship with her, either, though he desired it, greatly. Both Nerian and Thistle were special to him and he did not realize what was wrong with wanting them both aside from that it was nothing short of pure selfishness and possessiveness. He would not give up Thistle for he loved her greatly, but he held affections for Nerian affections that went beyond master and slave, affections of a man and women kind. With the two women at odds with one another he knew he would never broach it with her, not when he felt that their rivalry with one another was at it's peak. In his younger years he would have been arrogant and smug that two women were battling it out over him, conceded beyond all rationality over it. Now, he just felt something of a sorrow about it because he wanted them to get along and he wanted them both to be his. To, as Nerian said, both give him sons. It was an enticing idea that had ensnared him the moment she had spoken it though he resisted because of the promise he made to Thistle. He could not lose @Thistle Cloud she was his soul mate even though he wasn't very clear on what exactly a soul was.
He sent up a howl for her, desiring his Dróttning to speak, and wanting to worship her body, after they talked, if she would let him. It had been some time since he had showed her how he loved her given they're fights lately but he wanted to mend that just in case she faced any sort of doubts that she owned his heart. It was the most important piece to own, after all, for it was said that a warrior never reveals his heart until the axe does. |