The Tangle you love me but you don’t know [m]e

holy moly, i am sorry for the length on this.  please don't feel obligated to match, and feel free to dm me if any of this needs adjusted; i'm willing to collaborate.

cerulean did not consider herself the kind of woman to expect much of anyone or anything at all. she took things as they came, and with experience she found that it was best not to be attached to a particular outcome.  what she had not realized was that the narrative she imposed on others was remarkably rigid in comparison. his words cracked the frame as they barged inside her mind, stirring forth a conversation she had closed away.

she raised her head to regard him evenly. he was at very least the physical manifestation of an ideal mate. virile and hale. large enough that his presence alone might deter a coward with ill intent. it aided his appeal that she found him attractive. the verdant overgrowth that surrounded them compelled the deep earth tones woven through his bladed pelt to emerge, though his countenance reminded her of the frigid season that had come to pass. 

she thought of her future, what that meant to her now. she thought about what she needed out of life and what she desired, too. he was a man who asked for what he wanted, and she admired him for it. she would lay out her expectations in return.

i would be open to discuss your offer, she replied, though i have conditions. it was best to lay these things out clearly, and as early on as possible. i do not want to insinuate that i have made up my mind, but i cannot promise that it will be easy to persuade me to do anything else.

first.

i will not bear children this year. she was capable; the truth of it was substantiated by her surrounding fragrance.  but though she knew this may be a dealbreaker, she also knew that it would not be strategic. i want to ensure the man i rear them with is agreeable to me. i want to know him. how he lives. what he desires. where i fit in. what we make together. and how children will change that. my season is already upon me. she did not require love, but she could not bring children into this world without ensuring the foundation upon which she brought them up was stable.

i have two sisters. we live together, out west, on a chain of islands. she gestured that direction. she thought of prophet. one was gravely wounded before we settled there. she will recover, but she must still be cared for in the meantime.  a great deal of cerulean's energy was still consumed by viridian. her children deserved the same devotion that her sister's condition demanded, and she refused to split herself to tend to both. she would also want viridian's expertise, especially during her first pregnancy — women her size (and in her family) often suffered from complications.

she was young. she had time on her side and many years ahead of her.  she hoped that perhaps one day, she would make a good mother.

which brought her to:

second.

i would want you to come live with me. i have proven myself as capable and in the eyes of my companions i am esteemed. you would not inherit my rank, but you would be extended the same respect. she did not forsee that there would be any question about it. the druids seemed to revere the rules of hierarchy, and shound the need arise she would come down like an iron fist.

she just hoped that this man was not the kind to invite trouble.

if that is amenable to you, i will take you home with me.

she regarded him then with the same devouring stare that ramesses had given her on his mesa. her tail gave a slight wag, spilling her perfume, and for the first time in her life she claimed desire within herself.