Herbalists' Cache [m] tejano blue

His hurt was evident enough, and though she wished to reach out a paw to cup his face and comfort him, something held her back. It had been her who had brought this upon him, her who had called, and suddenly Tulugak wished she had sought Taqtara instead. Maybe then Arkadiy would have found someone he deserved.

Holding her tongue, she listened to him plead. It pained her to think of this rendezvous as a trade of names as much as it was pleasure and yet, in her eyes, that was what it had become. 

"Tulugak," she answered finally, forcing a smile though it never quite reached her eyes. "I- I'm sorry, I did not want to tell you earlier because I was afraid." Afraid that the realisation would kick in; that Arkadiy was not him. She did not quite want to admit what that meant yet. "I think I have made a mistake."

Her lip trembled - he must surely hate her now.