Blacktail Deer Plateau Will it take easier on you now

@Lasher 

The sudden rainfall had surprised Osprey mid-hunt and having no burrow, no den to hide, she had sought shelter under the branches of a large fir tree. There was enough space for her to lie down and be protected from becoming soaking wet. While lying there, memories of her early childhood came to her - of a very similar tree in the Flightless falcons, where they had hidden away from the rest of the family members and observed them from their spot - seeing everything, but staying invisible from their sight. It had been fun.

Many years had passed, the stiuation was the same, yet she was alone. It felt that with the same ease she had made friends, she had also lost them. And though part of it was not her fault, it still did not feel great to betray those you had promissed to be loyal to. Osprey sighed and rested her head on her outstretched paws, not for the first time wondering, why life was such a difficult game to play.

she had returned worn, bedraggled, and saddened, but osprey was alive, and lasher's heart was buoyant, for he had missed the woman, and grieved for her supposed loss. along with this quiet boy there bloomed the hope that a trek to the maplewood would put to rights the damage that had been wrought by their pack's failing toward saena -- dante disagreed, but the druid felt that the bonds of family extended beyond the borders of packlands.

a sudden deluge had pushed the beta male toward shelter; he skulked through the thicker part of the treeline, searching for a place to wait out the downpour. the largesse of a wide fir caught his eye -- he moved toward it, stopping only when his gaze was then greeted by the curled form of osprey.

he had not yet acclimated himself to her new form -- his heart twinged in sympathetic pain -- and lasher approached quietly. "osprey," came his gentle tones. "would you mind greatly if i joined you here?"

Osprey was amazed by the ease which Lasher had welcomed her back to the ranks and the fact that he greeted her as if she had not been gone at all. There was still some unresovled things between her and Dante that might explain, why there was a bit of awkwardness on both sides, when they talked. But that was not the deal with the beta. Maybe because their relationship had never been of such depth. It was easy and uncomplicated. 

"Not at all," she shook her head and crawled to the side to make space for the male.

lasher had no issue with osprey's departure or her return. while curious what had become of her, the death of the girl named for her aunt had instilled in him a simple gratitude that the older of the ospreys had not also met death. moving beneath the fir, he settled himself along the greyscale woman, the edges of their pelts briefly touching, though he sought to allow osprey the space she perhaps wished within the limitations of their shared shelter.

"i am glad you have returned. i know that willow is, also." he wondered if she had met any of the mayfair brood, but decided that she had not, for he would have heard of such. osprey had been an ashen shadow gilding the edges of their land -- he would not press her for interaction.

Osprey did not mind Lasher's presence. It felt a bit odd in the beginning to have someone so near to her, but she whisked that feeling aside quickly. She had not yet met any of the Mayfair children, but it could have been that she had seen them walking in the forest as dark shapes. He mentioned Willow's name and she froze, guilt washing over her. The woman was supposed to be her second best friend and yet she had not sought her out.

"That's... very kind," she said. "I don't think I deserve it though," she said, looking away.

taltos turned his eyes upon her briefly before returning them to the storm. osprey had been an integral part of the pack before her disappearance, though now he wondered if she wished such again. to her soft words he gave a puzzled expression, but said nothing for a moment, pondering what they could mean. "do you feel this way because of your departure, osprey?" the beta asked softly after several more moments of silence.

"It isn't the first time, is it?" Osprey asked rhetorically and let silence between them linger, before she continued. "I am tired of change, countless reunions and making amends," maybe she was becoming old, but at this point she had had adventures for a lifetime. Never before had routine and predictable life seemed so tempting as it did now. "That last time... I really did not wish to go... I have never been more unhappy in my life than, when I realized that I was totally lost. Why isn't peace and quiet a long lasting thing... why is it taken away so easily?"

he was quiet, letting osprey muse to herself, and feeling that she was rather rhetorical in her questioning, and not truly introspective. the beta suspected she had been given long stretches of time in which to examine herself -- he would have liked to pierce through the veil of sorrow that covered osprey, but knew it not his place.

"what are you seeking?" the druid asked carefully after a moment's refrain, shifting his body and letting his eyes rest on the deluge that surrounded them.

"Me? A simple, uncomplicated life," Osprey said and as the contradictory nature of this statement occurred to her she broke out in a quiet laughter. It was ironic, how many months ago she would not even want to hear about it. The free bird, who did not want to settle down. Not at any cost. "If that kind of thing exists," she added inbetween chuckles. "I think that finding a Fountain of Youth or the end of the Rainbow is more likely," and for a moment she managed to push the weariness away and in the elder's features one could recognize the old Osprey. So maybe that one hadn't given up the hope of resurfacing again. At some point.

she would not always remain as she currently was, lasher believed. osprey would bring the phoenix to the fore and reclaim herself, once she found her innate sense of direction. she had merely lost her way, and it could be located again. he smiled, casting the woman a soft look as she spoke. "your life here could be simple, fulfilling. you are not an elderly beast," he added with a wry smile. "a companion could be sought out, if that is what you so chose." he thought immediately of dante, and how sorrowful the alpha had been when they believed osprey dead. if there was a man here who loved osprey, and would love her till the end of days, it would be the gunmetal man. and yet there was a bitter sort of irony in it, that both these creatures should be so avoidant of romantic interludes and yet so perfectly suited for one another.

Osprey chuckled, when Lasher told her that she was not an old and hopeless beast yet. She gave him a curious glance and smiled at him. He was a very good friend to see past the ragged and worn appearance and still believe that there was a princess hidden somewhere inside. The truth was that she neither looked, nor felt beautiful. She felt old and tired of living a life, where there was more uncertainty than consistency. 

He spoke about finding a mate - yet she was half-way through her life and true, romantic, fairy-tale-like, all-consuming love had not happened. She had watched, how others had made fools of themselves and then have their hearts broken far too many times before, to wish losing her mind over such a fleeting emotions. "Do you wish to marry me off to someone?" she teased him light-heartedly, not wanting to analyze the subject too much.

you get my 1000th post!

he saw the beauty of her eyes and that in her soul -- he needed no aesthetic to know that osprey was a lovely creature, and when she joked lightly to him, he proffered a small grin. "if you were to trust me with your romantic interludes, i have faith that i shall find a man worth your time." he was pleased that her face had shone through with a smile, and sought to bring better humour into their interlude.

"if you were a raindrop, if that is what form your next life took, what would you think as you fell to earth?" his eyes glinted as he spoke; he rested his gaze upon osprey, knowing she would have an undoubtedly creative answer.

The mental image of Lasher acting as a father figure, who sorted out all of her possible and impossible suitors, was amusing. Though as much as this offer was tempting and serious (at some level), Osprey was not going to take it. He was a man, who had a lot going on in his life already - with a pack move to plan and three adolescent children to take care of. And she would feel bad, if she would have to turn down all or any of the found mates just because she  herself did not like them. Better leave the matters in her own hands. She had managed so far and she would probably manage ahead too. 

The riddle about the raindrop was a tricky one and she had to think for a bit, before giving a definite answer. "I would probably not think much at all. I would enjoy the fall to the very end," she looked at Lasher. "What about you?"

ooc: congratulations! Welcome to the 1000 club. :)

had he known osprey was entertaining his jest, in any form, lasher would have set about persuading her to allow such a thing to transpire. as it were, it settled comfortably between him and herself, a warm and lovely joke, and at her words, he gave a perusing glance skyward. "perhaps i would think of my next life, and if, at the end of my fall, i would divide into a thousand smaller drops, or die." he chuckled. "a dark contemplation indeed."

"Shattering in 1000 small droplets seems a better option than dying," Osprey mused, "it's a continuation rather than an end." There was another thing in Lasher's speech that reminded her of a conversation she had had a very long time ago. About this life and the next and the old wise wolf, who she had spoken to, had told her that the greatest mystery was not, whether there is a life after death, but rather, whether there was a life before death. When you thought about it that way - it was quite clear, what was more important. And when she looked back at her years in this world - ups and downs - she did not regret a single moment. She had lived like that raindrop - enjoying the fall to the fullest. 

"Are you going to have children this year?" she asked - since they had touched the subject of "leaving legacy".

he was quick to agree -- a glance to osprey's face revealed the introspective nature of the wolfess' silence, and lasher matched it quietly with his own until she spoke again. "such is the plan," he added with a wry smile. "i did not believe that i would ever be where i find myself now, mated, three children and perhaps more to come. i always wished to travel the world unbound, unsnared by the folly of worldly things, until my time came to depart."

so idealistic he had been, though there remained some small prickle of it somewhere in his loving breast -- a restlessness, if you will.

"That's amazing," Osprey was genuinely happy for both Lasher and Blue willow. The only thing that she felt sorry for was for never really bonding with any of the last year's litter. Kids had grown up far too quickly and with the elder's own life getting in the way yet again she was playing the role of an estranged family member. Speaking of that... she remembered that also somewhere in the Caldera there were her nieces and nephews growing up and that apart from seeing them during infancy, she had never had a chance to fulfill her role of a fairy godmother. It was very sad and for a moment this reflected on her expression. 

"I understand what you mean. Up until recently I was the same," she went on with the conversation not wanting to think about the generations of kids that had grown up without knowing Osprey well. "Though... I don't think I have changed. Maybe - after I have had rested - I will be the quicksilver again."

he was pleased to know that she was unchanged, and indeed had no intentions of remaining as she was. "quicksilver," the druid murmured aloud, glancing outward to the storm that continued to show no sign of ceasing. "i rather like that." for the moment, he had no subjects to bring to their mutual attention, and so he lapsed into a silence. the death of her niece flared painfully, but he would not suggest it -- not now.

"saena rules a pack to the north," he found the words for instead. "she has taken a male to her side to co-rule, and seems content. she found our leadership here too soft, which is quite possible, given the crueler whims of our counterparts."

"Saena..." Osprey had never been particularly fond of the girl and the feeling was mutual. However, she had never wished her ill and, when - those many months - she had arrived at the plateau's doorstep, mauled cruelly by Fox - she had felt really furious. Attacking another family member without any obvious reason was wrong. It was good to know that she was doing well and that she hopefully had found, what she had been looking for. 

"I always had a feeling that she will achieve great things," and she had. There was another family member that she was curious about, but she took a bit of time, before she decided to go forward and ask. She knew that Dante was not fond of Peregrine, but Lasher... had somehow managed to keep things even. "What about my brother - do you know anything about him?"

he nodded, but his goodwill feeling died at osprey's next question, the answer to which flitted just out of his reach. he did not wish to touch upon junior's death, nor the manner of it, and he should have expected a question about the devil to be inevitable. and so the beta steeled himself, and answered the quicksilver woman as neutrally as he was able.

"he and his mate fox rule a caldera south of here -- they are isolated there and seem to prefer it so. last i spoke with him, peregrine had welcomed another brood of children into the world." he glanced to the woman as he spoke, hoping that this answer would satisfy her and he would not be pressed for more details.

From the manner Lasher spoke, Osprey quickly realized that there was no point in asking him more about Peregrine. There was always an option to go for a visit and call for him, but the last encounter with Fox was still vivid in her memory. She had threatened to kill her and quite reasonably Osprey did not think it was worth risking her life just to have a "lunch date" with her brother. 

"I hope that he is happy the way he lives now," she remarked and got to her feet. The rain had ceased a bit there was a good chance that she would be able to reach her den without getting too wet. Cold feet and soaking fur was the last thing she wanted in her current state. "It was nice talking to you," she turned to Lasher and reached out to gently nuzzle the fur on his neck. "Pass my greetings to Blue Willow and tell her that I will stop by soon," she told him and waited for Lasher to bid his farewells too.

thanks for the thread! <3

he hoped that osprey would not visit the caldera, not with fox upon the proverbial warpath, but mentioned nothing of this. the rain had lightened somewhat in its intensity -- he too stood to his paws and nodded. "she will be happy to have you," the beta answered, nudging her shoulder with his own muzzle. "be well."

when she had faded from sight, lasher settled himself again, and his mind traveled unbidden to the last night he had shared with the aforementioned panther.