Redhawk Caldera slow like molasses in january

The symptoms had come, and it overjoyed the Redhawk matriarch. In roughly two months time, she would give birth to more pups that would become part of the Redhawk family. Even though things weren't always great with the first batch, Fox had a feeling that these kids would be easier, if only because she knew what to expect on some level. There was always the chance that they would be more unruly... but Fox had to hope that they wouldn't leave her in a state of severe distress like they had last year. She wasn't sure if she'd be able to survive it a second time.

With Raven and Nightjar gone, Fox and Peregrine would certainly have a lot on their paws. There were, of course, other members of the pack, which was one of the reasons Fox was out and about today. In particular, she was going to seek out @Currawong and see what his skillset was. She'd heard a little about him from one of the other leaders, but she didn't know enough to figure out how he could help them in the coming months. First time for everything, eh?

I think you got some of our kids mixed up. My mom does it all the time. ;)

It had been a week now and still Peregrine couldn't smell anything, not even a whiff of Fox's most rancid farts. While he maintained a smile for his mate, he was barely functioning beneath the surface. He hadn't told her yet, in the hopes that his sense of smell would return as inexplicably as it had disappeared. But as the days passed and he found himself unable to hunt or maintain his other responsibilities—not to mention the early signs of Fox's successful pregnancy—Peregrine knew he must face the facts.

Unaware that the Alpha female was busily tracking someone else, Peregrine went searching for her. It took a lot longer than it should have, considering his nose was useless, but he eventually spotted a flash of red. He barked to get her attention, then began moving toward her. His heart began racing in his chest. It felt like the world was about to come crashing down around his ears. He just hoped that she would still love him, after he revealed how broken he was.

"Hey, babe," he said when he came within earshot, flashing her a quick smile that quickly fell. "I have to talk to you," he began, moving to nuzzle at her ear. He inhaled instinctively and found he desperately missed her scent. His voice began to shake slightly as he added, "It's something pretty serious."

"Hey, babe," came that familiar voice, and Fox whirled around to catch sight of Peregrine. While he wasn't the one in particular she'd been searching for, she would never turn down an opportunity to talk to him. He was her better half (no matter his lack of sight in one eye) and no moment with him was wasted. "I have to talk to you," he began, followed quickly by, "It's something pretty serious." Fox whined apprehensively, licking the cheek on his good side.

"What is it?" she asked, concern laced in her voice. Immediately, she feared the worst, thinking that one of their pack mates had met their death... or worse, one of their children. She held back those thoughts, trying not to expect the worst (and utterly failing).

When she whined, he felt his heart stutter in his chest. He hated stressing her, especially considering her current state. Peregrine wouldn't beat around the bush at all with this. He would just lay it all out there and hopefully the two of them could figure this out together.

"It's my nose. It hasn't worked in about a week now. I mean that it's totally and inexplicably dead," he told her quietly. Although only one of them worked, his jade eyes caught her dull gray ones, holding her gaze. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I was hoping it would come back. But it hasn't.

I can't hunt," he said in the next moment. Those three words were particularly painful to admit out loud. But between his dead eye and his deader nose, his abilities in that department had been diminished greatly. "Which means I can't provide for you." That hurt even worse. "Or them." Excruciating.

The swarthy Alpha wolf took a long moment to steady his breathing and his voice, not to mention collect his thoughts. He thought back on that day when he and his mate had discussed heirs. She hadn't wanted to pick their son because of his defective ear. Well, Peregrine was much worse off than their half-deaf son now. He had learned to live with a single eye, yet this new disability was somehow more life-altering.

"I don't think I can lead this pack anymore," he said at length. There were other things he wanted to say but Peregrine just let those words hang out there, giving Fox a chance to react.

Stop giving me all the feels. :'(

Fox furrowed her brow. At an earlier point in her life, she would have cut him off before he'd had a chance to finish what he was saying. An older (perhaps slightly wiser) Fox listened to him until he fell silent, going over his words again and again in her mind. The Redhawk alpha hemmed and hawed, uncertain. The old Fox would have kicked him out without a second thought, but they had a life together now. Peregrine was her rock, and she was his. They had more children on the way, and suddenly Fox wondered if they had made the right move after all. A wave of nausea swept over her, and she swallowed hard.

A wolf who could not hunt could do nothing. A wolf without a nose was worse than one blind in both eyes. A wolf's sense of smell was their livelihood, and Fox was unsure if Peregrine would survive for long without it. If he could not hunt for even himself, how could he? He would no longer be alert to trespassers whose scents differed from those of pack mates. He would no longer be able to strengthen their borders because he would be unable to sense where they were weak.

She had no answer for him. Fox stared at him blankly, confounded.

Only in the wake of her absolute silence did Peregrine realize he had expected her to protest, reassure, give him the benefit of the doubt even if it went against her personal standards. Because she loved him. Because he was the exception to her rules. But Fox said nothing and he felt like he was being slowly hollowed out by a knife. He swallowed thickly, his throat and chest feeling tight and achy.

"I'll step down, effective immediately," he decided out loud, knowing it was for the best, even if Fox disagreed (although that didn't seem to be the case). "And I know you once said you would step down with me when the time came but I really encourage you to stay put, especially because of them," Peregrine added hastily, glancing in the general direction of his mate's abdomen. She wasn't showing yet but she would be soon.

At length, he dragged his eyes back to hers. Her silence was ominous, though he didn't yet know just how bad things were, for Fox still hadn't spoken. "Say something," Peregrine begged quietly. "Tell me what you're thinking."

*makes things less easy?!*

How could she possibly bring their children into this world with only one functional parent? Would Peregrine even be alive by the time they were born? It was still two months away... but how long did it take a wolf to starve when they could only scavenge... and not even efficiently? Grey eyes blinked out of focus.

"I'll step down, effective immediately," he said. He said more, but Fox's ears began to ring loudly. She felt both hot and cold all at once, despite the freezing temperatures. This was not how things were supposed to go. Would she find him cold and dead in their den one morning, withered away like Haunter had been? The thought only made her feel more dizzy, and she stumbled awkwardly to one side.

"I can't—" she muttered under her breath, eyelids heavy as they pulled her downward. In an instant, she lost consiousness. Whether it was the pregnancy or Peregrine's sudden realization was undetermined and she crumpled into a heap on the cold winter loam.

She was trembling. "Oh," he murmured, drawing closer to her, wrapping himself around her just in time to catch Fox as she fell. He encircled her with his forelegs, gently lowering her to the ground. His heart fluttered in his chest as he looked at her face, feeling horrible for not only putting her through this but also for whatever effects it might have on their unborn children.

He considered calling someone, yet there was no medic in the pack. Raven was gone. Instead, Peregrine just sank down beside her, holding her closely, pressing his face against her boneless neck to stifle a sob. He wished this wasn't happening to him, to her, to them. The timing really couldn't have been worse. He felt cursed.

"I'm sorry," he moaned against Fox's rusty fur. He then found himself babbling, hoping the sound of his voice would rouse her. "I may not be able to hunt or be an Alpha anymore... but I'll do whatever it takes to make myself a useful pack member... I'll still get food, somehow... I'll still patrol the borders... I'll pick up the Caretaker role again... I'll be the best stay-at-home dad ever... please... I love you... Fox... please..."

This post is g r o s s, rofl.

Nonsense!

She did not hear him, though if she had, she would have refused to believe anything that he said. How could he do anything without a nose? It was the primary sensor for a wolf, and a wolf born without one would have met an early death. Now, Fox need only wait for Peregrine to be in the path of a bear without realizing it, to trespass in somebody else's territory. Without a nose, he was next to useless in the world of the wolf. His words would have fallen on deaf ears, so perhaps it was better that Fox was out cold when he spoke.

Eventually, she roused, though it was not until after he was done yammering on. Slowly, she blinked, trying to recall what had happened, where she was, why Peregrine was clutching her tightly. It came back like a bucket of ice water across her face, and she squirmed out of his grip. In the past, when she'd had a delimma, she'd gone to Peregrine. Now, she had no one. Well, that wasn't entirely true. There was one wolf she could consult.

"I need time. I'll be back." Fox planted a kiss atop Peregrine's head, shook her coat, and headed north west. She left no room for him to protest, for him to stop her. If he attempted it, she would fight him.

His words didn't stir her, though Fox eventually came to and he was there, holding her tightly. He released his grip when she made to stand, watching her with careful eyes. Hopefully she—and the pups growing within her—would be no worse for wear after her fainting spell. At least he had caught her on the way down.

Finally, she said something. "I need time." He nodded mutely. While he wanted to figure this out now, he could respect that she needed a moment (or a few days) to absorb everything. "I'll be back." At this, his eyes furrowed quizzically. Before he could say anything, Fox turned and trotted away.

He wanted to call after her but Peregrine said nothing. The place where she had kissed him tingled. He took this as a sign that she still loved him, at least, and that their future would definitely be different... but that they'd still be together. Peregrine and Fox vs. The Problem. Despite still feeling shattered and hollow and as if he might throw up his very soul at any moment, he thought, We can beat this, and held on tightly to that kiss.