Sleeping Dragon the things i do for love

Seeking @Thuringwethil and @Gyda please! Short posts very welcome, def no need to match my essay~ <3

The grey wolf took a long shaky breath of crisp air. The wind was blowing through Snowforest Taiga from the east today, and with it brought the sweet taste of a deepening spring. Four nights had passed since the fever, and by now Lucani should be getting better. For the sickening heat of the fever itself had long passed, so by now she should be exhausted and stiff, yes, but getting back to her own strength. But she was not. Her joints felt like they had sand in them, making every step a great discomfort that grew to agony when she walked long distances. Something had damaged or restricted her lungs, making it difficult for her to take a truly deep and satisfying breath, like a sigh or a yawn, which meant if she got out of breath she was in considerable trouble. Lucani was an experienced healer and knew the effects of a passing fever, and this was not it. She had poison in her blood.

As to what had poisoned her, she had no clue. She knew it was not rotten meat or stagnant water, or she'd have been expelling her bodily contents for hours after the event. She supposed it was possible she'd picked up an unexpected poison while transporting herbs, but she was always very vigilant about not doing that. So what remained? She'd drank from the rainwater outside her den mere minutes before she'd fallen sick. It would not have been difficult to put something in the water on purpose. If she hadn't forced herself to vomit, Lucani would have been dead by now. But of course there was the question of motive. This was a pack of warrior wolves, and Lucani, a healer, was not one of them — and so perhaps did not deserve the high rank of Gamma she had earned. Most warriors could challenge her physically for her rank, but the more clever ones might realise that neither Alpha would be happy with one of their wolves injuring their medic. Harming Lucani was not likely to result in promotion. But anonymously killing her was.

As she roamed weakly along the stream, her demoted body low and tired, the faces of her packmates fluttered through her mind. Other than Thuringwethil and Gyda, both of whom she was fond and proud, Lucani pictured a string of strangers and fighters. She remembered a meeting, not long before her illness, of two packmates who didn't even speak, one of whom communicated solely in wild displays of dominance. Sometimes she felt as though there was no place for language or civilisation in the minds of some of the creatures at Sleeping Dragon. When she looked upon gleaming fangs and empty eyes that coveted her rank, she felt alienated. The Alphas respected her, this she knew, and of course others could see the merit of a healer to patch their wounds, but this had become the extent of her presence at Sleeping Dragon, and it had lessened considerably since she'd help found the pack. Now it was sad to remember the original song of howls that had claimed the territory, her own howl among them.

Presently Lucani was next to useless. Each minute Thuringwethil tended to her or brought her food was a minute wasted. She was their Heda, not a nursemaid. Each time she slept, hoping for recovery overnight, she awoke and felt the same, albeit with a renewed sense of dread. Previously, as Gamma of Sleeping Dragon, she'd stood tall among her peers, fighting alongside them and maintaining their wellbeing, moving swiftly to keep each medical cache flawless and fresh. Now her herbal collection was very slow-going, she was rightfully devalued, and couldn't fight off a fly. She didn't even know who half her peers were these days. She'd noted a strong scent on the borders that had almost as much potency as those of the Alphas, and had concluded that a girl she knew vaguely had been promoted to Beta Female, a rank Lucani had expected to receive herself one day. Now brushing the Lower Tier, she didn't know the Beta's name, let alone the purpose of the promotion. Lucani had misunderstood her own connection to the pack, and knew now that if she were to maintain her life of selflessness, there was only one decision she could make to contribute positively to Sleeping Dragon. One decision that she was still capable of making.

Too weak to howl properly, and wishing not to bring shame upon her Queens by summoning them with a pathetic call, Lucani tracked them by scent and sight alone. It was slow going, but as the sun rose she could sense them nearby. Perhaps her heart was leading her. Her conscience most certainly was.

Worry for Lucani kept Gyda busy, though not so preoccupied that she did not tend to her duties as viking queen and guardian. After hearing of their healer's mysterious — and perhaps in some ways ironic given that she was a healer — illness Gyda visited the Zeta when she could though the shield-maiden was left feeling utterly helpless. For once in her life she regretted not finishing her pursuit of her mother's trade. That dream of saving lives had been coveted by more barbaric and necessary trades to her future position within Odinn's Cove until it was nothing more than a fancy of a once small girl. It was after such patrol of the borders that Gyda had sought out Thuringwethil, desiring her company for the sake of wanting it; and to inquire as to Lucani's condition though neither of them were healers and probably couldn't really tell such a thing without the Zeta's own verbal confirmation.

Yet before the question could form from Gyda's lips Lucani's figure came into view, much to the shield-maiden's surprise. Surprise that slowly morphed into a mixture of horror and concern. “Lucani,” Gyda breathed the woman's name with shock and concern coloring her tone. “You should be resting,” Her chide was soft, how a mother would speak to her child: caring despite that it was a reprimand — only funny because Lucani was older than Gyda, not the other way around though this did not seem to make much of a difference.

sorry this post is crap! :c

The delay in her trip to Larksong Grotto had been on hold and she worries only a little about it when it comes to Reek. She nor a messenger had arrived but soon, they would. They would like understand their delay but she can’t put it off any longer. With or without Warbone, she would need to go. A different crew tagging along with her, she’d explain, but in the meantime she meanders through until she notes Gyda’s scent and, soon enough, Lucani’s.

Distracted suddenly by the fact their healer is out and about instead of resting, waiting to take her place back as Gamma, is instead stretching her legs. She can’t blame the need to stretch her legs but she finds herself echoing the same sentiment of rest that Gyda speaks in concern. Her nose lifts a little and she approaches, nudging the healer’s shoulder before she settles a foot or so away with enough to give her space.

tyvm for replying so quickly, both!

No part of her was regretful that her search had been a success, despite what had to happen, for to feel regret here would be selfishness. But as she saw the pair, a stirring was made fiercer in her heart. Lucani had proud and fond feelings for both her young leaders. Gyda with her golden heart but precise and indomitable sense of duty and leadership. And Thuringwethil, the hardest young commander she'd ever known. It was no wonder Sleeping Dragon thrived so intensely, and Lucani did not flatter herself to realise she'd predicted this from the beginning. The pair had made this pack a constant winner.

The healer bowed to them both, quietly ashamed that her bones trembled painfully as she did so. I took my time coming to find you, I've been careful and restful, she reassured them, but thank you — thank you both. I have no doubt that your care and attention has saved my life. And it's this I need to speak to you about, she said softly.

It was awkward, perhaps, to beg the attention of both Queens when they had such a pack to run, so she was clear and succinct out of sheer respect. And also, perhaps, to get this over with swiftly. Unfortunately, in my educated opinion, my condition isn't improving. I've tried various remedies, but I'm not on the mend. I believe it's possible for me to get to the bottom of this, but it will take considerable time and — more crucially — the depletion of medical caches that could be put to better use. I'm next to useless in this state, a slow and distracted healer. One thing I can do is speak — pass on knowledge to a bright young mind capable of quickly soaking up medical and herbal information, her bloodshot eyes blinked towards Gyda before she addressed them both again, but after that my use runs dry, and I suspect that to insist otherwise would be an insult to the hardy, capable, healthy members of this pack. I've concluded, she began to finish, her voice now all the weaker, that the best I can now offer Sleeping Dragon is sacrifice. With love and deference, I forfeit my place in your pack.

Despite Lucani's reassurances Gyda was skeptical. Lucani went on to explain, beginning with the word unfortunately and stated that her condition wasn't improving. Gyda was not her mother and thus did not share in her mother's wealth of knowledge of poisons or really anything of the sort and for a moment she feared, instantly, for the healer's life. Gyda had taken a life once, but that was different. She could not, and beyond that wouldn't watch Lucani die. Already, she mentally began making plans to see if she could find a healer that might be able to work out some kind of cure, her imagination as small as it was these days, running wild with the idea of what she would do. So much so that she almost nearly missed what Lucani had to say to them next.

She spoke of passing on her knowledge with a look that informed Gyda that she would harbor the woman's secrets and for a moment — still assuming that Lucani was dying — Gyda drew in a sharp breath. To accept that offer (as kind as it was) would be to accept a truth that the viking queen did not wish to acknowledge. The words that followed after were strange to Gyda, and confusion followed in the wake of sorrow as she attempted to grasp at what was happening. She was leaving them. All because she felt that her current condition meant she had no value to them. “You are wrong,” The viking queen's words were passionate with her immediate anger, refusal to accept such a thing strong where it fueled her hot ire as she took a few steps forward. “You are an asset to this pack, Lucani, regardless of what you think. You have been with us since the beginning, why should your condition change any of that? So you are weakened by the illness. So what. You will recover.” Despite that Lucani had given an answer Gyda struggled to make sense of it.

“I do not accept.” Because she wanted Lucani around ...because she had looked forward to her advice when she was with child. This sudden change in Lucani confused Gyda, and the shield-maiden had no qualms about making her confusion and displeasure about it known.

It takes a moment for Thuringwethil to process what Lucani is saying to them and she takes every effort not to allow a heat rise in her chest. An anger bubbles and she holds back, letting her continue to speak what sounds like might be her best intention. In fact, it does nothing more than spark a fire to aid the boil. She’d saved the woman’s life, given her time to work through the fever at the cost of Warbone, at the cost of respect from Sangilak, and now, after taking time to bring her the things she neds to get back on her feet, this is what she does as a thank you?

Her ears cup forward and her features harden, eyes narrowing as she immediately takes posture of Heda. The part in her that took care of the sickly woman is gone and her gaze bores through, barely catching the words of her queen.

I do not accept.

What was said before is a blur but she can’t be bothered to go back and try and figure it out. Instead, she takes a step forward with a flash of her teeth. “This is how you choose to repay saving your life?” she says, her tone even but her eyes speak more. Hurt, anger. Thuringwethil closes herself off in that moment. Lucani is one of the few left, the one she’d looked to for guidance without even asking for it. A thought that often loomed in her mind when she made a decision and one she’d considered respect for highly. “Let the traitor go,” she growls then, turning away from the older woman. 

“Get out.”

oops

*Hug2everyone!*

One thing that she never would have dared say outloud is that every wolf had their flaw and that even Queens were no exception. Lucani, of course, with her frustratingly ever-present tone of self-righteousness, had sundry flaws to her personality, and was unable to hide them as she faced her Alphas. Gyda's and Thuringwethil's most prominent flaws in her opinion were related to their youth, and exacerbated by their positions of power. Gyda was one of the most intellectually and emotionally competent wolves she'd ever met, of any age, yet now she stood with wilful naiveté, insisting that Lucani would recover (even though the four-year-old healer knew and had said otherwise) and, even worse, insisting that Lucani was of use now. The grey wolf was physically very weak and slow now — restoring medical caches would take a long time, and she needed them personally if she was to try and get better. She would deplete them faster than she could grow them. Furthermore, she couldn't fight or hunt anything other than fish. She could stand and spout knowledge, but other than that the valuable Gamma had become pup-like when it came to her useful attributes. In a weaker pack that might be fine, but in Sleeping Dragon there was a good chance she'd be killed for it by one of the wild survivalists that roamed the ranks.

In her medical opinion, that had almost happened already. That was why she was here. The poison sat heavy in her veins.

Thank you, Gyda. I care very much for you bo—. But she was interrupted.

So Gyda was in denial. But Thuringwethil's hiccup naturally came in a more aggressive form: pride. Lucani had seen it every single day she had encountered Thuringwethil, and it had never negatively affected her respect or love for the girl. Nor did it affect it today. She did believe one day the Heda would understand that this truly was the best thing Lucani could do for Sleeping Dragon — the alternative being ageing alone in a darkened cave, taking hours to reply to summons, unable to join fights or hunts, using up herbs and meat, taking up her Alphas' time, and by her very presence encouraging an atmosphere of disrespect as packwolves began to realise that dead weight was welcome among their ranks, all because of heart. She actually believed a tiny part of Thuringwethil had wished Lucani had died, to avoid all of the above and also to avoid the pain of her leaving. All the black wolf could see was a loyal packmate abandoning the pack. Lucani had been poisoned, and as a result had volunteered to remove her dead weight from the pack. Her reward was shame, disrespect and aggression.

Sadly, Lucani had expected nothing less from a youth so proud — in sacrificing her place here, Lucani had also sacrificed Thuringwethil's respect, and she had not been so naive as to not see this coming. That is correct, Thuringwethil, she replied calmly. This is what I do to repay you for your kindness. It was the very highest price she could pay. The very best thing she could do for her and for Sleeping Dragon.

But she had hoped to have more time to say goodbye... she needed to speak to Gyda of medical matters, advise her on the best plants to use for war wounds, and other such things. Leaving Sleeping Dragon without a healer had not been something she'd intended to do at all. But she had a long journey ahead of her, one that would be difficult already given her state — and Thuringwethil was on edge. She wouldn't put it past her to attack Lucani physically if she didn't immediately obey. She was sacrificing much for Sleeping Dragon, yes, but would she sacrifice her life in the merest hope she might be able to stay for a few more hours as a tutoring healer?

No. No, that was where her selflessness fell flat. It was only then that Lucani felt a little ashamed.

She gave a low, weak bow of silent respect to her Queens, and with her eyes still cast downwards she said one last thing. One final thing I feel I must inform you of is that I strongly believe I've been poisoned by a wolf among your ranks. I don't know who. That's the extent of my suspicions. With that, she finally turned away from the regal pair, and Lucani felt in her heart that all three were joined by a feeling of helplessness, despite all three believing that what they did was for the best. As she turned from Gyda, she caught her eye and hoped she could convey all the gratitude and expressions of her heart right there in her own gaze. And then — goodbye, Queens of the snow, she sad sadly, and walked with quiet pain towards the borders of Sleeping Dragon. Just as she'd once done from the other direction.

Gyda's eyes snapped to Thuringwethil as she cut Lucani off, growling at Gyda to let her go. Traitor. Gyda asked herself if that was what she considered Lucani. She didn't think so. Lucani hadn't done anything wrong, technically. She wanted to leave because she did not feel worthy enough to stay. She had not sold them out, or done anything to put the Dragon in danger as far as the viking queen could see. As her rage subsided in it's wake crashed sorrow. Gyda was reluctant to let go, and when her stubbornness finally ebbed it was not because Thuringwethil had told her to do so. It was because it was what Lucani wanted, though Gyda wished she could have had the time to try to convince her to stay. Lucani's departure would leave the Dragon without a healer, Thuringwethil had seen to it; and Gyda would be without a midwife and beyond that felt like she was losing a friend.“May the Gods watch over you on your travels, Lucani.” Though Gyda did not know if the other woman believed in such things it was a token of thanks from the viking queen for what Lucani had done for the Dragon.

Thus she turned to Thuringwethil, a spark of anger within the depths of her icy caribbean eyes. “In your anger you have denied her the chance to pass along her knowledge to me and left the Dragon without a healer,” Though Gyda felt that Thuringwethil would eventually come to realize this. She disagreed with Thuringwethil's choice to immediately lash out and banish Lucani from their borders and she intended to let it be known. “you better hope Reek has a healer he can offer us. If we go to war we will need one.” Unbeknownst to the viking queen Reek himself was a healer; but Gyda was hesitant about the whole coalition as it was, unsure if Reek would deliver on the promises he made in exchange for the Dragon's protection. With that Gyda strode off not wanting to argue. It was done and there was nothing either of them could do to undo it but Gyda was Thuringwethil's equal and she was going to let her opinion known whether Heda liked it or not.

gyda's exit

Perhaps if Eli and Smoke hadn't disappeared.  Or Warbone abandoned them. Or if Snacha hadn't, maybe it would be different. Maybe Thuringwethil would understand. Maybe she wouldn't be so hurt. They'd all gone without a word and Lucani had taken the effort to seek them out, but it stung no less than the others. She might reason to say it is worse, because she's seeing it, because it isn't really closure.

It isn't her decision.

Even if Lucani remains calm, Thuringwethil can't extinguish the heat beneath her cheeks, claiming someone had poisoned her. She swallows the lump in her throat but she doesn't allow her hardened glare to change, even when the older woman bows her goodbye. Dark eyes follow her and her paws itch to stampede the ground and rush her out, but she remains still. Focused on the departure, she barely hears Gyda begin to speak.

The Heda turns her head then and can't find the words to speak, but the queen does not give her a chance. She turns and Thuringwethil's teeth grind together, jerking her head in the opposite direction. In that moment, Lucani is no different than those that left before. The founding wolves were small then, narrowed down to Hush, but it would only be a matter of time before any of the others chose to depart and leave. Their loyalty has never been to them, and to their own selfish gain, and she struggles to believe she belongs to any of them.

Perhaps Heda has simply become a thing of the past, put to rest and the flame to die out.