King Elk Forest What Arrows
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Ooc — Jess
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#1
@Rowan Mayfair
A lone leaf, only slightly yellowed, was plucked from a lofty branch and sent spiraling on the wind, drifting down toward the earth before being twirled aloft again by a playful, dancing breeze. The midday sun warmed it, touching the light leaf with bright rays as it lazily slid toward the ground, only to find itself landing upon the sterling silver shoulder of the lean male wolf who walked placidly through the forest. He writhed in surprise, muscles twitching beneath his monochrome pelt as he reached over his shoulder to grab the offending leaf with his teeth and pull it free, dropping it carelessly to the ground. He hated the feeling of having something stuck in his fur; the feeling of the leaf's stem poking between the silver threads of fur would stick with his shoulder for some time after, irking him slightly as he walked but slowly, time and distance would distract him. 

It had been a very long time since he had left the packlands to go on a decent excursion, and while at first he felt as though he should have some aim- be hunting someone or something, delivering a message- he reminded himself over and over again that he didn't necessarily need permission to go for a good trip on his own. He'd headed West, finding an easy path that took him beyond the rocky landscape that stretched along the Western border of the Great Bear Wilderness, breathing in the cool air at such an elevation and pushing forward. He wasn't sure where he was going, but the effect it had on his soul was cleansing and good. 

He stopped when he reached a river and could se that further South, it split into two paths. The area smelled of wolves, and he assumed that there would likely be a pack nearby. It was similar to Bramblepoint, a woodland that bordered the Caldera; free turf, but close to a claimed pack, and he knew better than to ford the river and bring himself closer to where he assumed the packlands would be. For the time being, he would slate his thirst and run his tongue over the fur where the leaf had fallen, finally shaking himself free of care and concern.

And that first kiss coming, let's just freeze the frame
Your eyes were closing, as mine were opening
You did not break me I'm still fighting for peace
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#2
Rowan could not move freely anymore. Her stomach was swollen, her state as obvious as could be, and while the ethereal woman was not deterred by her state she was aware of the complications that came with it. Casmir and Laika had the children to think of, and while the loss of the girls was unfortunate Rowan would not distract them from their own mission to bring the girls back. She made her way slowly towards the river, hoping she might catch a fish for herself. She could sustain herself some and the fish would be good for the puppies. 

The thicket got heavier and she felt more comfortable in it, giving a soft sigh as she brushed herself against a tree trunk - trying desperately to scratch an itch she could no longer reach. A few moments of fussing over herself before she finally realized that there was another male's scent nearby and she might have blushed had she any real shame. She'd gotten over that a long time ago. 

A bit of looking about and she finally spotted the other wolf a respectable distance from the borders - she offered only a slight smile and a chuff in greeting. 
And I know that I can survive
I walked through fire to save my life

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#3
He shouldn't have been surprised when another wolf showed up, but he'd become fairly invested in the cleaning of his pelt and snapped to attention with what would probably resemble surprise when he caught a female's scent. His silver eyes narrowed and his expression became that of concern as he looked across the river just in time to see a tall, lissome female striding through the grass toward him. 

There was a calm and quiet confidence about her, and the way she greeted him. Not too enthusiastic, but definitely not intimidated or fearful. It immediately made him more calm, and he dipped his head in a quiet greeting, his gaze trailing over her body and noticing what he believed to be the rounded sides of a pregnant female. He was surprised to find himself somewhat discouraged by the sight of a female wolf, particularly when he found her to be attractive. All he could think about were the words Peregrine had told him when he'd said that he'd once been single and fancy-free at Shrike's age, but the next year had begun his conquest to father as many children as possible...Or so it seemed to Shrike. 

He had to convince himself to speak, and had to tell himself that it was alright to speak to another wolf's mate while she was pregnant. "Uh, hello," He said after a short pause. "I'm Shrike." He had yet to return her smile, as he was still a bit taken aback by her striking appearance.

And that first kiss coming, let's just freeze the frame
Your eyes were closing, as mine were opening
You did not break me I'm still fighting for peace
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#4
If he had seen her the male didn't bother to say so, which only made Rowan more at ease herself. She looked him over, silver eyes flashing for a moment as she realized that he too, had brilliant colored eyes, and his coat had more colour than his did. She took a few steps towards him, careful of the stream not to lose her footing and fall in the muck. She could smell a pack she wasn't familiar with on his coat but it did not stop her - she could be friendly, couldn't she? Especially when it came to a stranger in a place where she had no friends. 

"Hello," She offered, the little smile growing a bit. "I'm Rowan." She offered her name just as he had. "Forgive me for being forward-" Or don't it doesn't bother her either way, she is just rarely swept up in the fussing about that some people did. "-I'm unfamiliar with your pack's scent. Where do you live?" She had been so careful when she had fled from Donnelaith, she hadn't bothered to explore anywhere and instead went straight to the Creek. Even if she might have found his pack's borders, she hadn't come close enough to know it's scent. 

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Shrike." Rowan offered, glad for the chance to talk to anyone else - someone not swept up in the sorrow that laced the Creek. It was understandable, of course, but very taxing. Especially for a woman who would be giving birth within the next few weeks. 
And I know that I can survive
I walked through fire to save my life

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#5
The female came closer, and there was something enticing about her, and that something kept Shrike rooted to his position. For once, his usual, fidgety behavior had more or less melted away, consumed by curiosity about the confident female who carefully picked her way through the shallow water toward him. He felt a bit bad for not moving toward her, but figured she might feel more comfortable if he didn't. He was, after all, a stranger to this land and didn't want to seem too bold by moving forward. 

He dipped his head in a quick greeting when she spoke her name, and quickly uttered a short "'Course," when she asked for forgiveness. Being too bold? She wasn't being a nuisance, and it seemed that all she wanted to know was where he was from. He stiffened slightly, and one ear turned back. It wasn't as though his pack was a secret, but it wasn't exactly as though Peregrine wanted him to be out campaigning and announcing which pack he was from. Still, she seemed to want to know the answer to satiate her own curiosity, not simply to grill him for information she might later bring back to her pack. And if she did- it didn't really matter anyway. 

"Redhawk Caldera. East." He said, motioning with a tilt of his muzzle. What she said next was something a bit formal, and finally brought a smile to Shrike's lips. Her? Pleased to meet him? It was almost laughable, but Shrike wasn't the type to laugh easily. "Pleasure's mine." He replied. 

He felt a bit awkward, though, knowing she was being so friendly with him, and almost in a way to forge a bit of distance between them, he nodded toward her, eyes drawn to her belly. "Congrats. In advance, I guess," He said, his tone lightening a bit, and tail finally loosening enough to sway between his ankles. He couldn't guess exactly how far she was along- he didn't know enough about pregnancy to make that call- but she was definitely big enough for him to feel confident in calling the round woman pregnant.

And that first kiss coming, let's just freeze the frame
Your eyes were closing, as mine were opening
You did not break me I'm still fighting for peace
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#6
She wasn't in the career of gaining knowledge about the packs nearby. She didn't want to use the details of his life against him and she certainly didn't have malicious intent. If there was a vicious bone in her body it certainly had been tapered off by the pregnancy. With the turmoil surrounding their conception and her expulsion from the pack, now all she longed for was the peace and quiet that might come in the later weeks. After that there would be no peace to be found, after all. Rowan's ears perked a bit as he spoke, retaining the Caldera's name for future prospects. She didn't know the ties between the Caldera and the Creek after all. "I live in Silver Creek, over there." She nodded behind her, just looking back in time to watch his gaze shift to her swollen stomach.

She smiled faintly, nodding then at his words. "Thank you, I guess." She teased gently before she sat down. It was easier than to just settle a bit and relax her body. "They've gotten quite active lately." Rowan admitted with the flick of her tail. Of course she was taking risks with being open with the male but she did not feel that he had vicious intentions. Had he, why would he be so close to the pack where they were but a call from her away? He also didn't smell like he'd been anywhere near Donnelaith so they could not be agents of Aria's. 

She was fighting the restless feeling that constantly plagued her. She'd just gotten comfortable and yet she wanted to move again. There was a twitch to her stomach, a little trill of rejection from the puppies and she gave a small laugh. "Apparently they do not appreciate talking about them like they aren't present." She said with a mischievous smile before her gaze returned to the male's. 
And I know that I can survive
I walked through fire to save my life

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#7
Silver Creek: he'd never heard of it before, but that fact didn't surprise him. Shrike comitted the name- and hers as well- to his memory, so he could recall it if necessary. Peregrine and Fox didn't seem particularly interested in the affairs of other packs, and as far as he knew they were neutral with every other pack in the area. So finding out where Silver Creek was wouldn't really prove uselful for his pack at all, but at least he would know if someone else came from that direction. At least he would have one potential ally there, if Rowan was as harmless as she seemed. 

She sat down, seemingly a bit uncomfortable because of the pups, and Shrike was drawn a few steps forward, and sat down, eyes still bright with curiosity. He winced visibly when she complained that the pups were moving around, but he couldn't exactly imagine how it would feel. "You ok?" He asked, lowering his head a bit, not sure if it was polite to look at her stomach to see any signs of movement or not. "Need anything?" He asked. He wasn't entirely sure, after all, what one could do for a wolf who was pregnant- other than leave them the frack alone.

And that first kiss coming, let's just freeze the frame
Your eyes were closing, as mine were opening
You did not break me I'm still fighting for peace
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#8
Rowan was relieved when he followed her into sitting, noting that he had come just a little closer to her. She offered him a brighter smile at his concern, shifting a bit so that he might see her stomach. She was perhaps to cocky, too self assured, not only in herself but her children. No harm would come to them. Not now, not ever. They were special and they had quite a legacy to live up to. "It isn't so bad, I promise." Rowan soothed, her gaze returning to Shrike's. " It's sweet of you to ask though." Perhaps she was just jaded at this point or perhaps it still felt like such a betrayal that Donnelaith had turned against her but such kindness that had been shown to her since leaving caught her off guard. 

Shrike had no reasons to fuss after her and yet he still did. Spring had taken the chance in accepting her into the pack. Even the Depths had offered her a home when they had no reason to at all. Other than the wolves she had truly expected to take care of her, to still accept her, everyone she had encountered had been good to her. "I don't know if you can see it yet - I only feel like I see my stomach move because I feel them moving in me." Rowan was trying to be as gracious as possible - trying to invite him closer if he wanted to. She had nothing to hide, and even with the stranger, she felt comfortable talking of her children. "Are you just out exploring?"  She asked curiously, realizing she hadn't even wondered why he was out so far from his home. 
And I know that I can survive
I walked through fire to save my life

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#9
Shrike was relieved to see that the female trusted him to come nearer to her, and even shifted so that he could see her side more. This led him to believe that this wasn't her first time carrying a litter of pups, and served perhaps as a warning as well. Any female this comfortable with being pregnant had to be fairly secure not only in themselves, but in those they held dearest- meaning that she probably had one hell of a protective and capable mate to take care of her. At least that might account for why she was so comfortable letting him get this close to her- if he did do anything to her, he'd have hell to pay later, he supposed. 

 She seemed to invite him to watch her side, confessing she didn't think he could see them move, and he watched for a moment, ears pricking straight up when he caught sight of movement- only to put on a somewhat sheepish grin a moment later. "Just your breathing." He said. He looked up at her again when she asked him about his purpose for being there and he nodded. "Yup. Exactly that." He answered truthfully. He wasn't trying to get away from anything, or seek out anything in particular, so exploring was likely the best way to put it. "You?"

And that first kiss coming, let's just freeze the frame
Your eyes were closing, as mine were opening
You did not break me I'm still fighting for peace
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#10
She was self assured, and perhaps that was a fault. She did not stiffen though even as he drew closer and watched her intently, trying to ascertain her movements versus the puppies'. She nodded and gave a small smile - she'd guessed as much when it came to her breathing or the puppies moving. "Maybe soon you'd be able to, then." She hummed out. His question was a natural response to her own and she shifted her gaze a bit, for a moment considering how to word everything. "I needed to explore a bit. The puppies - they make me restless. She confessed. 

"That and I've only lived in the Creek for maybe a couple weeks, if that, and I like to know my surroundings." Rowan finally admitted, wondering if that would change the male's opinion of her. It made it more obvious that there was no mate to tend to her, and while Casmir's scent was the strongest on her coat he still had his own family and his own issues to worry about and she couldn't interrupt his life for her own. 
And I know that I can survive
I walked through fire to save my life

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#11
Shrike's lack of knowledge surrounding pregnancy and childbirth made him quite interested in anything Rowan had to say to him abuot the matter. Naturally, he wanted to help as much as possible, so when she confessed that the puppies made her restless, he offered a possible solution. "We can walk if you want?" He asked, not wanting to pressure her into anything, but he felt obligated to cater to her in her condition if only to make sure she was comfortable. He was well aware of the fact that sometime soon she'd give birth to living, breathing children- so it was the least he or any other wolf could do to make her comfortable. "Or stay here. Up to you," He continued, to reassure her that if she didn't want to move, she didn't have to. He was good either way. 

He was slightly surprised to hear that she'd changed packs likely while pregnant. In addition to that fact, she didn't mention a mate or even use the word 'we'. He was beginning to get the impression that something had happened, involving her mate, to make her move into a new pack. Then again, there was nothing to say she and her mate had simply joined a pack for the convenience, rather than going through the stress of trying to create their own pack. He didn't really feel the need to ask where she'd come from or why, as that might stress her out. Instead, he asked "You like it there?" Albeit somewhat awkwardly.

And that first kiss coming, let's just freeze the frame
Your eyes were closing, as mine were opening
You did not break me I'm still fighting for peace
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#12
All that Rowan knew was through her apprenticeship with the healers of the French Quarter. There was a worry in her - an old fable that spoke of the walking babies, but she did not think she would bare a child so special. She gave Shrike a radiant smile at his gentle suggestion and offer for her comfort. With some  effort she stood again, nodding as she started to walk and silently invited him to join her. 

"It's nice so far. I have family if the pack, but they have all been accepting of me."  Rowan offered with a smile. "Do you enjoy the Caldera?"  Rowan knew nothing of it after all but still see was curious and wanted to know more. Maybe it was just the effort to know more about Shrike himself. 
And I know that I can survive
I walked through fire to save my life

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#13
Shrike stood as soon as Rowan did, allowing her to choose the direction but then fell into a quiet walk at her side. He kept a bit of distance between them- still not quite sure whether his tail would be handed to him if he was caught with someone else's pregnant mate or family member. She began to speak about her pack and she seemed to like it, though it seemed conditional given that the pack had accepted her. Of course, it was tough to take in a wolf who was pregnant, though she seemed to have family there. Shrike frowned. That didn't sound very good, though, and he assumed Rowan had left her previous pack for a not-so-good reason as well. 

But before he could say anything or ask any more questions, she asked him about the Caldera. "Oh, yep," He answered somewhat deftly. "Run by my cousin. Didn't know that 'til I got there; small world," He commented with a faint smile. It faded though, when he thought of the recent events- the plague of locusts and the death of little Peter. "Been a rough summer. But I suppose it's like that everywhere," He confessed, knowing he couldn't expect that everyone else had it easier. He had a feeling, too, that Rowan would have understood.

And that first kiss coming, let's just freeze the frame
Your eyes were closing, as mine were opening
You did not break me I'm still fighting for peace
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#14
He was close enough they could still talk comfortably and Rowan smiled at him. His cousin ran the pack, as hers had before - though she and Lasher had not been able to pin the titles of their association it seemed easy enough to call both he and Casmir cousins at this point. "It was the same for me in Donnelaith, where I lived before." She explained. "I was no longer welcome after my pregnancy, but Casmir, my cousin, vouched for my presence in the Creek." It was the simplest explanation of what had happened and she spoke without seeking pity. It was an explanation, nothing more, nothing less. Of course it did expose that she was alone, that the puppies' father was not in the picture - though she had not explained his death. She didn't want to touch on that right then. 

She gave a little sigh and nodded, "It was very tough. Lasher passed away from the heat just after we started to recover from the famine - Donnelaith is not the place it once was." She said quietly. "I feel there were many losses - with any luck though we will have time to recover properly before winter approaches." Her fear was her solitude. She did not want to be a burden to the pack and her children would have only a few precious months to grow before winter came along. 
And I know that I can survive
I walked through fire to save my life

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#15
Shrike was somewhat relieved when Rowan opened up without having to be asked. He honestly wasn't sure to think of the whole ordeal, given that she'd more or less either left her pack or had been exiled from it due to her pregnancy. He could only assume that there was some form infidelity, or that she hadn't gotten permission to conceive, which seemed contradictory to the character he assumed she was. She seemed to be quite mature, but then again, given how open and comfortable she was with him, maybe she was a bit too familiar with wolves and had gotten herself pregnant in that sort of way. Whatever the true story was, Shrike wasn't terribly disuaded from being her friend, and pitied her when she spoke of her troubles. 

When she mentioned the name Lasher, he assumed that this was the father of her pups and he frowned. Lasher was dead. He memorized the name of Donnelaith, as well as Casmir, so he could avoid one and possibly commend the other. "I'm sorry to hear about Lasher." He said quietly. He wouldn't dare reach out to touch her, lest she think he might be taking advantage of her grief. "I'm glad you're safe," He added, in reflection on the famine and the heat of the summer, that had driven some wolves to acts os insanity.

And that first kiss coming, let's just freeze the frame
Your eyes were closing, as mine were opening
You did not break me I'm still fighting for peace
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#16
Thankfully if he was pitying her, he didn't make a big show of it. He was fine with just letting her have the moment of sorrow without making it this all consuming thing. She'd done her time trying to sort out her feelings and her sorrows - and the pregnancy hadn't helped it at all. She was still convinced that Aria's jealousy had swept her up and caused the pale female to cast her out. There was no other explanation. Rowan gave a little nod, her eyes meeting his for a moment. "Thank you, there are a great number who miss him." She said gently. "His successor couldn't abide my presence but I feel it may be for the best." She was not worried now, and she had found a peace in her condition that she had lacked earlier. 

Her smile grew as he commented on her safety, and the look of her silver eyes softend a bit. "I am fortunate." She said softly. "Donnelaith is out near the coast - it was quite a journey. I did have the benefit of seeing the landscape and how gorgeous it was." She would see the benefit in the world even if it was hard to do so. 
And I know that I can survive
I walked through fire to save my life

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#17
So it turned out that Lasher was a guy with a bit of mystery around him. At first, he thought maybe Lasher had been a popular guy- after all, he'd snagged a beautiful, confident woman to bear his children- but obviously he hadn't been in the perfect position in the pack, if Rowan thought she and her children would be safer opting for another a pack following Lasher's death. There had to be some reason a wolf who was well missed was not given a bit of space in the pack for his children to live in...Times were tough, but the wolves of Donnelaith, wherever that was, must have been even tougher. 

Regardless, Rowan seemed to have healed since, and spoke rather of the travel from Donnelaith to Silver Creek. She spoke of the ocean, something that Shrike had never seen nor did he care to. A body of water that large just seemed unnatural and frightening. "Sounds like you like to travel," He commented, seeing as she was happier to talk about seeing the countryside than about herself. "I'm kind of the same. Only just settled down. More or less." He said.

And that first kiss coming, let's just freeze the frame
Your eyes were closing, as mine were opening
You did not break me I'm still fighting for peace
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#18
If Shrike only knew the truth. The Mayfair woman felt no shame at all in what had transpired between herself and the fallen druid. Her Taltos still was with her, and she did not fear in the slightest bit. He had helped to guide her and so she stood next to the grayscale male without fear in her heart for herself or for her children. He confessed to liking to travel and Rowan was curious of what he had seen. "More or less?" She teased with a smile. "I traveled a great distance to come here - I'd almost say I was here for a reason." She felt the spirits had lead her here just in time for her heat. The children would be born to her at the perfect time just before Samhain. 

"And when you return to your Caldera and your Cousin, are you happy there?" She asked curiously. If someone had asked her she would have to be honest - after Lasher had passed she had not been happy. Being in the Creek, it felt like a new chance and opportunity, and she would not allow the judgement of a jilted lover to tarnish her feelings. Despite the hardships she endured as the witch knew she always would. 
And I know that I can survive
I walked through fire to save my life

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#19
He tilted his head from side to side and hunched his shoulders in an unattractive shrug when she questioned what 'more or less' meant for him. "No wife. No kids. But got a home." He said. For him, to settle down completely meant to have all three, like Peregrine had. So he was settled, and didn't really intend to leave, but only having all three would really cement him to one place. She seemed to think she'd travelled to Silver Creek for a reason, and he nodded. Maybe he'd been driven to leave hisbirth pack for some reason, maybe to meet up with more family- it was hard to say. It was a happy coincidence, nonetheless. 

Being that it was a happy coincidence, he could answer her next question without a second thought. "Yup." Shrike hadn't ever needed much to keep himself happy- he didn't need much attention or praise, didn't need to be doted on and didn't like having too many pack meetings and gatherings so in a way, the Caldera was perfect for him. The alpha was his cousin and was a nice guy. The other pack members weren't needy or foolish and if they were, they didn't last long. He fit perfectly into the Caldera lifestyle like a plug in a drain.

And that first kiss coming, let's just freeze the frame
Your eyes were closing, as mine were opening
You did not break me I'm still fighting for peace
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#20
Well that wasn't a response that she expected him to give. Admittedly, she knew nothing about the handsome male other than the brief things that they'd discussed. "Ah, so, you have much, but then nothing at the same time." She supplied. "Like myself." She was unfettered and left alone much of the time and while this was nothing like before Rowan still felt the pang of solitude. Shrike didn't even hesitate to say that he was happy and this brought a true smile to her face. "Good." She said without hesitation. She could not fathom how depressed she might have been if her hand had not been forced in Donnelaith. 

"Had I never come here, I would be even more alone. I wouldn't have the children - even if they present some..unique challenges." She mused with a little smile. Her silver eyes flashed playfully, and while the intention wasn't easy she was still happy with the prospects.
And I know that I can survive
I walked through fire to save my life

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#21
Shrike didn't really expect for her to say that he had nothing; he didn't feel as though he was missing anything because he'd never really wanted anything else, at least, not yet. So she seemed to speak more for herself than anything when she said she had everything and nothing. "What else would you want?" He asked, then. He already knew his own answer- and that answer was a fairly whole-hearted nothing, given that it had never occurred to him how happy he might be if he did have a mate and pups. He supposed, shortly after he'd asked, that she'd want a mate, and felt somewhat ashamed of asking, so he apologized. "Sorry. Shouldn'a asked." 

She spoke then of her unborn children and a concerned frown tugged at the corners of his mouth. She seemed to be looking on the bright side of everything, but didn't she have her fears? "You...Gonna be alright?" He asked cautiously, not sure if that question would finally break through what he perceived to be her defences, or if she was actually being honest and optimistic all along.

And that first kiss coming, let's just freeze the frame
Your eyes were closing, as mine were opening
You did not break me I'm still fighting for peace
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#22
What would she want? It was a question she rarely asked herself anymore - her focus had shifted to the children. It was a move of self preservation, refusing to let herself feel anything else. She'd shut down in some ways and for a moment her lips twitched as she tried to figure out what she was going to say. "You're fine. I asked you." She reminded him, finally forcing something from her mouth. "I'd....I'd want their father alive. They might have gotten to grow up in his pack, with their siblings near them. I'll be trying to teach them everything they need alone and I worry I'll fail them." She admitted quietly. 

The next question he asked her was one that she contemplated often and while she was being optimistic and forcing herself into it she didn't want to suggest that she was only putting up a facade. She wanted to believe in herself and trust in the spirits she felt had lead her to where she was. "I believe so, yes. It won't be easy....already hunting is nearly impossible, but still. I wouldn't take anything back." She met his gaze again, hoping the answer was good enough - that it was a realistic outlook and that she didn't sound a fool for what she put her faith in.
And I know that I can survive
I walked through fire to save my life

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#23
Shrike felt foolish and guilty when she answered- of course she'd want her mate back. If he'd been in her position, he would have wanted that too- and he would have wanted his home back, and not to be displaced while being pregnant. He gritted his teeth together slightly, ashamed of having asked that foolish question. Still, he couldn't help but be grateful that Rowan was forgiving and patient, and didn't seem inclined to judge him for his foolishness at all. There was something almost other-worldly about her, something strange but alluring at the same time. He'd never met a wolf like her before. 

He was quiet when she voiced her fears, but still seemed to think that everything would turn out fine. This made him more concerned- she didn't seem to have much of a support system. A pack, sure, but she didn't have her mate or her siblings, as she said, and hunting was getting to be too much for her. He breathed in a deep breath and continued to stare straight ahead, though he could feel her eyes searching for his. "Got someone to help you?" He asked. He paused, but kept walking. "I know you'll be a good mom. Teaching them, and such. No doubts." He said. "You'll take good care of your pups. But someone's gotta take care of you." It was simply a traditional way of living, and not necessarily how it should be, but it was how things had been in Shrike's experience, and he couldn't see things working out nearly as well as Rowan thought they might if she didn't have support.

And that first kiss coming, let's just freeze the frame
Your eyes were closing, as mine were opening
You did not break me I'm still fighting for peace
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#24
It wasn't like the reminder of Lasher passing wasn't present with her every day. Not only were his final children growing within her, his oldest son bore an appearance strikingly like his father. It was overwhelming sometimes, but she had grown to love Casmir like she might her own boy. Perhaps it was a desperate attempt to keep the feelings she'd began to grow alive, the affection she had known in her heart for the Mayfairs. She wasn't sure. She didn't question it. She wasn't bothered in the slightest by Shrike's return of her question, though it had given her pause. She appreciated that he was making her think - that he was the first outside of her pack to really do so. 

"I have a cousin here, but he has his own mate and children and I don't want to take up too much of his time." Rowan hated the thought of being a burden, of her added stress on the backs of others with so much in their own lives. Casmir and Laika had the girls to worry about and Rowan wanted it that way. They needed to be brought home, and then things would begin to turn around for them. He thought she needed someone and Rowan reached over, briefly pressing her muzzle against his shoulder before drawing back. "You're sweet to worry." Rowan couldn't confirm or deny his words after all - she'd never been pregnant before, she'd never been a mother before. All she could do was do the best she could. "Hopefully I won't proven you wrong." She didn't want to fail her children, after all. She barely knew what to say about how adamant he was about her needing support. It wasn't a lie, of course, but she also couldn't just expect anyone to drop their lives to fill the void in hers. It was selfish to demand such a thing. 
And I know that I can survive
I walked through fire to save my life

[Image: counselor.gif] 4/5,[Image: caretaker.gif] 1/5
286 Posts
Ooc — Jess
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#25
Once more the cousin was brought up, but now that Shrike knew that her cousin already had his own family to worry about, his concern grew. What right did he have, inviting her into his pack, if he could not help her out? He'd be drawn terribly thin if he had to care for his own mate and children as well as his cousin and her children. Shrike had been a helping hand to Peregrine and Fox who were already capable parents who had had several litters before...And even though they could have managed without him, he knew that his extra assistance was appreciated. The entire pack had pitched together, and had felt the stress increase when Finley gave birth to a litter of pups. This would be the case for Silver Creek as well, he knew, though even more so- for at least, in the Caldera, Finley had a mate to take care of her, and a yearling son as well.  

Her touch stopped him in his tracks, but as she pulled away and continued moving forward, he did as well. He was simply surprised, and felt warmth rush to his cheeks knowing that she'd reached out because she'd wanted to touch him. He knew now that no one was going to beat him up for walking with her, let alone touching her, so when he resumed his walk again he drew nearer to her, and listened as she spoke again with an ear slanted toward her. "Do you feel safe, having children here?" He asked. It troubled him to ask that, and he felt that in questioning her, he might be drawing suspicion. "One of the pups in my pack. He was killed. Had both parents, and the rest of us." He said. "I just...Don't want that to happen to anyone. Again." He said, through gritted teeth.

And that first kiss coming, let's just freeze the frame
Your eyes were closing, as mine were opening