Jace strode from his sleeping spot with fury on his mind. He was furious at Fox for pissing on the borders and starting this whole shit show in motion. He was furious at Leaf for not listening to him when he told her to run. Now he didn't know what was going to happen, because fox was so yellow bellied, and liver lillied that she probably wouldn't come back. He was furious that fox was a leader, when she was clearly a piss poor leader at that, who brought another yearling, and a juvenile to a cock fight? Clearly idiots like Fox. And he swore on everything that was holy that if anything anything at all happened to Leaf because Fox was such a poor leader, he'd tear the creek down to the ground. He didn't think Ferdie would do anything, but he wasn't worried about Ferdie he was worried about the ones he didn't know, and Leaf's stubbornness and pride. Foolish foolish woman he should have just kidnapped her himself and made her live with him, then this whole mess wouldn't be as terrible, and he wouldn't be scared to death.
He strode towards where the two femmes were staying, Ferdie was not a mean male, he just wanted Fox to give herself up. After that happened if it happened and these two were let go, he wasn't sure what was going to happen to Fox, and it made his blood run cold in a way. Would it be revenge falling on her head, or would it be death....would she have to watch as they tore up the Creek. that thought made bile rise up in the back of his throat, because Bazi was there. he didn't understand why Fox couldn't just leave them alone. They had a full mountain, that was self sufficient, they were never down in the lower lands. They had a veritable garden of Eden and Fox had to be a cocky little number and screw it all up, because she just couldn't accept that he and Ferdie were different and that they settled so closely.
Gods she could have at least brought some muscle with her, what was she thinking bringing the girls, she should have known they would be met with violence because she was the first time. He shook his head and strode into the small area where the girls were. He himself had made sure they were near a cache, had access to water and shade for the heat and sun for the cold. He wouldn't have anything happen to them, that wasn't even more traumatizing than was already done.
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For the first time in a while, Leaf was beginning to doubt. She questioned the goodness of wolves. She questioned herself. Her loyalties to Swiftcurrent Creek were strong. Bazi had saved her from the pack's namesake, and though her heart had not been right, the little red wolf had been grateful for her rescue ever since. She enjoyed Bazi as well as Fox, who though both were of the same age, seemed infinitely more mature and responsible. Or so she thought. Fox's actions confused her. She did not know what she thought about the leader departing, despite the fact that it was clear the juvenile Magpie could not escape. Yes, there was no mistake that retreating was the right answer, but there were other ideals that had to be maintained, if not achieved. The little red wolf wanted everyone to be safe, and she quietly wondered if she could have escaped were it not for Magpie, who might have not even trusted her. Frowning at such dark thoughts, she examined her figure. Though her body was still intact, there was an unseen pain that seemed to course through her limbs and joints. It woke her in the night with a sweat. Still, it was nothing compared to what Fox had suffered. She could not believe the change that had overcome the Alpha of The Sunspire, and it almost confirmed that he was not who she believed him to be. Not that she had any need to like him in the first place. She was a Creeker! She was not part of this pack. She was not friends with the wolf who spoke her mother language, and she despised the two-colored wolf whose parents had died by fire and weapon. And she was definitely, definitely not friends with the Big, Black Wolf who had done nothing to save her. Had not even taken her in until she was literally forced into his presence. She had refused to drink and eat the water that was presented to them, resenting the fact that it came from Jace. True, she was putting further strain on her body, but it had only been a few days and did not yet outwardly show. She also no longer groomed herself, and her hair was threatening to become matted. Still, when it came to Magpie, she pushed the girl to eat and to drink. With her, she had hope. As Jace approached, Leaf could only send him a glare along with a sigh as grievous as their circumstances. "Everything is already so ugly. We don't need you adding to it," she said referring to the fury he brought with him. Was he always so angry? Why could he not control his emotions a little more like her? |
Fox’s actions did not confuse him, she was as selfish as he had always thought she was, yet it was him that was paying the price yet again. For the simple fact that he most definitely probably lost any semblance of anything he had ever even had a chance for with Leaf, simply because he didn’t know what she wanted. She told him to go away in one breath and stay with her actions. She had come to the mountain and urinated all over his borders, yet she expected him to save her and he had tried. He had told her to run didn’t he and that he would keep magpie safe. He couldn’t fully out go against his leader where she was concerned, he just couldn’t, he had already gone against one alpha’s wishes and that had gotten here in this shit show.
Though he hadn’t tried to hurt Leaf he feared that he had. Though there were no outward signs he was here sometimes at night, when she would wake up in pain, and it just about killed him everytime. He was on a roll was there anything else he could do to fuck up his heart, mind, body and soul in the next few days. If there was he’d probably find a way to do it.
He stared and his ears laid back to his skull when she spoke to him and a small gasp escaped his maw at her words. To say it didn’t hurt would be a lie, it was just another wound she added to the already tumultuous ones she had given him, but he didn’t say a word back he just stared at her.
He shook his head. I told you not to paint me an angel Imp. I told you and you didn’t listen. I am just a man who feels a little to strongly about a lot of things and hides it, until it manifests into anger, because that I can understand and that I can use. he shrugged then what else did she want from him. He couldn’t take back the invite he had never given, because he had never given it. So he just stared at her and then he spoke softly I’m going to go talk to Bazi later and try and get the two of you out of here quicker. I’m sorry for everything imp I really am. I didn’t mean to hurt you, I didn’t mean for you to have to be here, and I didn’t wish for you to get caught. I told you to run that I would take care of Magpie, and you know me, you know I would so why’d you stay? You’re sick your not eating, your not drinking your going to die. You need to stop acting like a child and eat so that you can survive, so that you can go on with hating me with every single fiber of your being, because I’d rather you lived and hated me than died. he sighed then shifted his weight from paw to paw…unsure what else to say.
Caught up in her own world, there were many things the little red wolf had missed and took for granted. Had she known that he checked on her during the night, that it hurt him to see her hurt, that he was balancing not only her needs but also those of his pack and leader, she might have empathized. And really, she should have known all of these things given that she knew his feelings towards her, his circumstances, even knew a little of his character, but they were lost in the white noise of her static-filled heart. She was as inconsistent as could be, but she was not aware. Or rather, she was in denial. She refused to believe that her own character was more questionable than everyone else. She wanted to believe that she was still different, still unique in who she was, but it was slowly dawning on her that she could be just as debased as the next sinner over. Hadn't she caught a glimpse of this in the forest when this boy whom she so loathed had saved her life with his own skin? The thought, paired with his painful reaction to her words, humbled her. Black lipsticked mouth pulled tight in a snarl retracted quickly and relaxed to a tremble. She listened to him with her face still turned away from him, wanting to hear but hating herself for it. "I know," she squeaked almost inaudibly as he spoke of taking care of Magpie. She believed him, but did not want to betray these beliefs to her pack mate. Sidling up in order to garner some more privacy, she laughed despite herself at his words. It was a cross between a scoff and a cry of pain. "Big Black Wolf," she began affectionately with eyes dry and yet glossy with insecurity, "Why didn't you take me in? I would have followed you, b-but you didn't want me." She was simplifying the situation but cared not. Inching forward with a lurch, she reached to nip at him. Her pale green eyes looked at him pleadingly. "I'm sorry I keep hurting you. Please forgive me. I'm really not trying to." How strange how words could be so true and so false at the same time. |
Jace did not think he was a perfect wolf, and he knew he could work on a lot of things. For instance for her he was going to go down to the lower lands and talk to his friend and ask her what he could do to keep Leaf safe, without telling his leader. All the while knowing that the minute he stepped near the borders he could easily be killed, but if it kept her safe he’d do it and not think twice about it.
Jace did not know any other wolf like the little imp that was before him, and had he known that she thought herself debased and not so different he would have laughed and told her not to worry she was as unique as could be. She was a little imp, and everyone had their weaknesses and their fears, what mattered was that you fought against them as she had done the night in the forest. She had run at first yes, but she had saved him in the end made him run, whereas usually he would not have.
Oh shit was the only thought that crossed his mind as she came towards him. What was he supposed to do now, he was terrible at feelings, there was a very real chance that he might mess this up, say the wrong thing do the wrong thing, he was not good at feelings. But he also knew he’d hate himself later if he didn’t try and tell her a little bit of his mind and heart. He heard the scoff but also the veiled pain and he wanted to rip his own throat out…he was fairly certain he had done something to her insides…good gods what would he do if what he had done killed her in the end. It made him sick with fear.
Jace sat down and shifted so she could easily lean on him if she wanted and he looked at her for a moment trying to figure out exactly what he was going to say, the first time in his life he actually thought before he spoke when the emotions were high. Imp I didn’t….I didn’t think you wanted to come. You have me so twisted up I’m not sure what’s up and down, but I love it anyway. he chuckled softly and shifted again leaning forward and brushing his muzzle across the top of her head, tugging gently on her ear. But never for a minute think that I didn’t want you here I would have moved heaven and earth to get you here…and Leaf the offers there you can come here anytime you want to and stay..i should have told you much sooner, but you were so loyal and so cute I couldn’t take your home away from you, but I’m here and the sunspire’s here if you want to come here. And imp I go to your home if I could, but I can’t…. he grew quiet at her next words and he sighed and spoke softly It’s okay Leaf. You are forgiven.
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Leaf could not have read the thoughts that danced in his mind, but she could tell that he was becoming nervous. It made her feel as if approaching him was somehow inappropriate--but not in the sense of her being captive and him being captor. No, it was different, and it made her feel hot and flushed. He shifted to allow her to lean into him, but she sent him a glance that easily said that this, this was not to be. Not here. But as she kept his gaze, he kept it even longer, and it was curious to think that he was actually thinking of what he would say next. Forethought. It was something she seemed to be lacking these days. If only she knew where her life was going. Still, when he chuckled, it warmed her heart, and she smiled despite herself. She accepted his touch eagerly, almost hungrily, and she felt herself pulled into the darkness. He would have her. He would move heaven and earth for her. He thought she was loyal and cute. The words were intoxicating and made her mind spin until all the around her the world blurred into one color. So this was what it felt like to fly, she told herself. To feel as if one was floating among the clouds. But the clouds were growing darker and began to grumble with thunder as Ferdie's face appeared in her mind. "Jace, I don't trust him," she snapped, recalling the Bazi's word. She had called him a nutter! "Ferdie. Is he truly sound in the mind?" There was more. "And, and I still owe Bazi for my life. She saved me from the Creek when I first got here, and I've been indebted to her ever since. I can't betray her." There was also the small detail that she had learned that she and Jace were friends, "best friends" Bazi had said, but she did not bring it up at the moment. For some reason, the fact made her sting with jealousy. |
Jace was taken back at the venom in her voice and he wondered who he was, until she spoke again and he sighed a deep bone weary sigh. He shifted lifting his left footpaw, the twisted foot still sore. All too soon, he would rip it apart more, but he would not know that yet. Jace wasn’t sure how to answer that question, there was always the thought and the chance that Ferdie could lose it again, he could go crazy like he had. There was no denying that, just like there was no denying that Jace could go crazy himself with the want of his emotions threatening to take him over. So how was he to answer that while still being true to his leader and himself?
Jace looked at her and spoke quietly I cannot answer that Imp I can’t, I do not fear him because I know I can beat him I’ve done it before, and since we have came here, he is entirely different. He is not sad and depressed and dark, no he’s happy and it shows. Icannot say that he will not lose his temper again, but again like I said I don’t think very much about it, because it does not scare me. I know I should think about it more, but my own self I do not worry about.
he looked at her and thought about Bazi the white furred princess. His best friend, his lips twitched into a smile and he spoke softly Bazi saved you hmm? She’s a good wolf, a good friend. She’s the only one that believed me you know, the only one, before you came along. he looked down at her with blue eyes twinkling, he did not know the jealousy that ate at her, but if she had told him, he would do his best to calm her fears. He felt nothing for Bazi, she was just Bazi his friend. She was the first friend I have ever made. I will not ask you to betray her Leaf. If you want to stay in the creek, I will do my best to carve time out just for you. I would not stay away if you don’t want me too.
Now that they were close, Leaf could see the scars more clearly on his body. There were old ones she recognized, but also new ones that had formed and seemed fresh. Unlike him, she knew that more wounds would come with time, and she hated him for it. Though there was nothing more admirable than protecting those one loved, her selfish side wanted him to be safe and healed. Noticing that he favored his left paw, she reached to lick the sore spot, despite knowing that kisses did nothing. Her affection evaporated when they returned to the topic at hand, however, and she shook her head in disagreement. If the only reason he felt safe was because he could bully others into submission then he--well, he was a wolf. Nothing more. She also thought his view very narrow, because even though he did not care for himself, weren't there others he needed to protect? Sometimes, protection merely meant staying alive for someone else. Yet another thought flitted through her mind. It shined bright pink, then red. Light and temporal as a butterfly. The thought that if she were here by his side, would he protect himself then? With that the butterfly vanished. "But Bazi does not support Ferdie as you do," she said. "When I talked to her, she seemed to trust you, not him." Bazi had claimed that Ferdi was sick in the mind, as if he could not help but being mad. "How can two best friends share such different sentiments?" she finished with a bit of spite. Licking her lips, she sighed. "Let's make peace between the two packs. It doesn't have to be this way! I want to be able to see you without feeling so disloyal, so dirty. Is it so wrong that I--that I like you?" Her ears flattened against her head, but her tail flicked in annoyance. It was not as if he were the only wolf that she cared for in this pack. There were others, too. It just seemed silly that all the subordinates were suffering for what seemed to be a misunderstanding between leaders. |
He was surprised when she made to sooth the hurt though it didn't help he appreciated the gesture all the same. It ended all too soon with the lowering of her head. He wanted to make it better but he didn't know how. He was reckless with hisown life he was, because he had no way of knowing that he could protect another by staying alive and walking away. He was hot headed and maybe a little crazy but he was real he did not hide behind an image or a thought of what he should be, he was merely what he was.
JAce frowned unsure what to say about Bazi she and he had always had differing views and opinions always. Bazi and I are like night and day. She sees the world in black and white I color in the gray. I suppose I trust Ferdie because he and I are alike and I see what I could be if I hid my afliction like he does, but I don't I accept it. I accept that I can be mean and feral, that I have a temper ,does not mean I like it, but I do accept it. Ferdie, I don't think he does and I could be very wrong but before this he hid it from everyone I don't. I am merely what I am. He shifted his weight and looked down at her. He laid his ears back at her hurried words trying to read between the lines. I would like peace that is all we wanted to begin with but fox would not leave us alone. look around leaf the mountain is self sufficient we shouldn't have to leave it there's even a hot spring I do not understand why fox fears us so.