Blacktail Deer Plateau Goodbye

He hadn't left her side. Even now as he body continued to lay restless in their birthing den. Other then to relieve himself, he had not moved, not even to eat. He wasn't sure why he waited. A part of him hoped that at any moment she would wake up from some sort of deep sleep wondering what hap happened. But that hadn't happened and it never would. Their pups still breathed no life and he hadn't dared to touch or even look at them. It wasn't their fault and he didn't feel that it was. But looking at them he saw what they could have been and what like of a life the family could of had. It made him sick to his stomach everytime he let reality slip into the den. He could hear the passing of pack members, the howls to go hunting, but they fell on deft ears. 

Almost a week had gone by since the insident had ocurred and signs of decay were starting to set in. Flies entered the den, flying around the pups and the dried blood that layed under Heartha's muzzle. At first he tried to shoo them away but the bastards were persistant and eventually he gave up. They were going to feast away at them until they were gone, or buried beneath the ground. He had been reluctant to do so, after all no one could breath dirt. But they wouldn't need to breath and that was something Howl was beginning to see everyday that went by where he layed next to their bodies. He didn't want any one else to do it though and so, reluctantly early in the morning he steped out of the den.

He chose this time knowing that the wolves that were active in the day would still be sleeping and that those who were up during the night would have just gone to sleep. Walking slowly into the woods, he could hear how life had gone on without him and Heartha. Birds sang and rodents skurried. It seemed to be mocking him at every turn. He wanted the rest of the world to fall silent in her absence, mourning for her and their children's loss.

Finding a place he found suitable, he began digging a hole for the pups to share. Every move to dig deeper seemed excrusiatingly more dificult. Not due to the increasing thickness of the dirt. But the physical toll it put on him knowing that he was ending any chance for their return. He began making the much bigger resting place for Heartha. Numerious feet deep, deeper then it had to be. Torn between not wanting to dig any deeper and not wanting to have to stop, knowing that once he did they would have to rest in it. His body layed in the hole for while. Padding it down to be a comfortable bed for her, angry that he wouldn't be able to make it anywhere close to the grandure it needed to have.

Walking bach and forth between the den and the burrial site, he ignored the horrid taste of fluids that imbedded themself into his children's skin, since no one had the chance to clean them. laying them one by one, side by side, tucking them in. It was Heartha's turn and pulling her to the site was unbearable. The wind blew feeling like an imaginary force pushing him back towards the den. The forces of nature, just as unwilling to acknowledge her demise as Howl had been and was. Laying her down into her bed, he a justed her to be curled up, before covering them with dirt. Light tears ran down his cheeks, expressing what his words could not. 

It took what felt like hours for him to gain the strength to walk away from them that day. But once he did he didn't want to stop. Crossing over the river and border to the pack he left without saying a word to anyone. Not sure if he would return the next day, or not at all.