Totoka River Love your family.

@Julooke

After talking to Erika about his family -- or lack thereof -- Mees suddenly felt a mixture of emotions; deep depths of disappointment to anger. Most of all he felt powerless. It wasn't his fault that he woke up one day not too long ago, not knowing or remembering his past. His imagination ran rampant, his family could be a great glorious family -- perhaps he was a prince -- or it could be a place that only spoke of bloodshed. Everything is possible, except for the impossible.

Today the thoughts inside his head made him bad-soured and negative to a point that it made him behave bad. Maybe Mees was just having a rough day. Either way he isolated himself away from everyone and anyone; not wanting somebody to encounter this other side of him. Inside was a pending frustration that only grew and grew as it was being fed by destructive thoughts of how family sucked anyway. Because, if family was always there for you; why were they erased from his memory.

"Hey Assbut..." Mees said out loud to himself. "You don't need any family!" Again he spoke, this time a little louder. "You're being super-duper fan-effing-tastic on your own." There; that was a relief.

Julooke had gone a little north of the pack's new home at Stavanger Bay to search for some seaweed, and explore a little. She had been quite happy since Verrine and she became mates, and had found a new den to live in together. Her heart would often swell with love for Verrine, and though it had before, it did more so now that she was able to show it openly, to him and to the rest of the world. She had been almost giddy with excitement at being able to start this new part of their lives together.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a voice, Hey Assbut. Her ears perked and her gaze looked around for offending wolf. Who would call her that and why? When she caught sight of the wolf, and understood he was talking to himself, she walked toward him. Are you alright? she asked, coming to a halt several meters away, respecting his personal space. She was fully prepared to keep walking on if he didn't respond to her well.

Mees didn't like to be grumpy and act like a sourpuss. However, sometimes it did act as a way to be relieved from all the emotions that toiled down inside of him. The fact that he was helpless to the situation and couldn't change a thing didn't make it any better. He probably had a family, Mees just didn't know where, when or how. He didn't remember the laughter or the sadness, the joy or the pain. Nothing. It was as if somebody had stolen his mind.

When another wolf scurried by -- while not knowing it was his own family -- Mees ears' flattened as he felt ashamed that someone heart his sudden outburst. "I - I said that to me." He said apologetically, not knowing if the wolf felt insulted but taking precautions anyway. "I'm not alright." He then added truthfully, though the lingering emotions underneath could be felt. "I-I want a family." To quickly correct himself, he added; "Not the one with mates and puppies; I'm too young for that stuff." Mees was obviously ranting to a random stranger but right now his mind didn't record anything of it rationally. "I want a family through bloodlines, a shoulder to cry on and family to laugh with." But that sounded right impossible; even if family was standing right in front of him. Real family. But he didn't know that...

This is going to be fun trying to make sense of their timeline XD

The male didn't respond aggressively, and Julooke was glad. He seemed apologetic, and honest that he was not, in fact, alright. Her heart fell when he admitted he wanted a family. She frowned, feeling empathetic and sad for him. She had no idea what she would have done without her family- probably feel just as lost as he did. She was so thankful in that moment she did have her family. Taking some liberties he had not given, Julooke slowly closed the distance between them, coming to try and sit down next to him. Maybe some physical closeness to someone would comfort him a little.

I know you feel the need for family to be blood related, but sometimes the family you pick can be better than the ones you were born into, she said softly. Julooke wasn't really speaking from experience, since she loved her family, but she was trying to give him a little perspective. Not all hope was lost for him to gain friends who he considered family. Sometimes, they're the most loyal, she added, thinking of Verrine.

Had Mees known that Julooke was, in fact, family through close-knit bloodlines, the poor Delta of Stavanger Bay would have been cuddled to death like a torn-up plushie. The yearling was also an Imperii-D'Erom. His mother or father was a pup born from the first litter of Fatalis and Liyano; keeping secrets disclosed on purpose. So, in a way, Julooke and Mees had more in common than they ever knew, the same (grand)parents.

"A-are you sure?" Said the grumpy yearling who had only discovered one day ago that his once-to-be role model Majestic, former Alpha of the Gull pack, had left only a few days after the yearling had joined the pack. "The leader -- and only one -- of my pack just took off into nowhere, a few days after I joined." To set this timeline straight: Mees would meet Ragnar a couple of hours after Julooke and try to join Stavanger Bay and be, unknowingly, closer to family. As Julooke came closer and closer, Mees daringly slipped out his tongue and tried to lick her nose in an affectionate (though, not romantic) gesture. He needed a shoulder to cry on; and she appeared to provide it. "Thank you. Is your pack also considered your family?"

He questioned her, and she nodded. Some of my most loyal friends have become family to me, she explained. My home pack is a long ways from here, but it's okay because I've met wolves who have treated me like their family, like I have them. Verrine had been one of those wolves a long time back, and just recently had become her mate, and there was a chance they'd be starting their own family one day.

He explained that he had recently joined a pack, only to have the leader up and disappear just days later. I'm so sorry to hear that. It must have been really upsetting to feel that he had found a home, and then to have no leader. She nodded to his question, They are very much my family. Ragnar, the Alpha, is very dedicated to his pack. She could easily be compared to Liyano. My Dad passed away, and I was depressed for the longest time, but Ragnar has quickly become like a father-figure to me. No one would ever replace Liyano in her heart, but Ragnar gave her that same support and structure that she had missed when he passed. Julooke, like Mees, had no idea they were related, but would be ecstatic to find out. You're welcome to come and meet him, if you like, she offered. She wasn't sure if he was interested in leaving his current pack, but she wondered if it was much of a pack at all without a leader. Maybe one of your pack mates will step up to take over being Alpha, she said as an afterthought.

Kindness and warmth, given away by a complete stranger while he admitted what his problems were at this time. Like a teenager he ranted, his words fell out of his mouth like a waterfall and he didn't even remember half of it. But he did know that he didn't feel alright; emotionally there was a lot of inner turmoil. By confessing everything on his heart to the kind-hearted Delta there was a sense of relief. Mees wasn't entirely sure what her reasons were to help out, if there were any, all he knew is that he felt a sense of warmth that he didn't knew before. In return he felt grateful for all that she had (un)knowingly done.

"T-thanks." He said a little uncertain because he wanted to repay her. "I hope I find a pack that treats me like family -- instead of with distrust, like I'm a stranger." That was how Ypres -- the newly self-proclaimed Alpha -- treated him. However, even if timeline-wise Mees would soon meet Ragnar and be accepted into the pack, he was not confident enough to accept her offer just yet. "One of the pack mates taking over?" He mused out loud, as that would happen soon. "Yeah, I'm sure one Butthead will; take over." He shook his head, then explained himself. "I have no doubt that one is taking over, I just don't have any confidence in her leadership. She didn't organize a search party for the lost Alpha, instead she just trots in like a lost elephant and says she's the boss. Then I left."

The male was quite upset over the dynamics of the pack, and Julooke could understand why once he explained more.I know it seems daunting, but don't give up. Go around to the neighboring packs and meet some of their members, and see what they say about the pack. It's a good way to learn about them, and then that way you have a better idea of what suits you. He wasn't happy about the previous Alpha going missing, or about how the next one took their place. Julooke thought it was a little odd that a wolf would take the place of the Alpha and not even go looking for them.

I understand a little of what you're going through. My Alpha was murdered by a bear not too long ago. Ragnar took over leadership. We knew he would be the right wolf for it, though. It wouldn't make him feel any better, but she thought maybe it would let him know he wasn't alone in the things that happened to him. Unfortunately, it was part of finding his place in this world.

In an attempt to get his mind of the current stressed of life, she asked, Hey, have you had crab before? Maybe he wouldn't feel like it, but she would offer to help him look for some and drop some rocks on them.

It was easier to share experience while being able to place his own sorrow and tragedy into perspective, life offered joys, laughter but also sadness and disappointment, all mixed up into one. It could be outbalanced, (un)fortunate events could tip the scale and make changes but a part of dealing with life challenges was to be flexible and deal with things as they would come. When Julooke explained that her own Alpha was brutally murdered by a bear, his ears tipped backwards to show support and sympathy.

"Did you kill it?" The male wondered curiously as he added; "The bear? Vengeance!" His orange eyes narrowed as his mind's river flowed with creativity while trying to imagine what it was like, to lose an Alpha not by the tragedy of disappearance but by brute murder of another predator. It once more reminded him that even leaders were only mortal, not save to life's set of unfortunate events. Though, usually a leader held a favorable spot in his mind as role model.

Mees was grateful when Julooke tried to change his thoughts into a different matter. "I've had crap but never crab before." He mused lightly with his leathery lips edged into a smile and his tail giving a light-hearted wag. "I'm open to taste something new, though."

He asked if they had killed it, and she shook her head side to side with a solemn expression. The bear had attack once before, just before I joined, and I know there were injuries, so they weren't able to go after it. This time, it had attacked our Alpha while she was alone... At that point, Ragnar just wanted to leave the area, fearing it would attack again. She knew some might few it as cowardly, but Julooke didn't. Instead of putting his pack members in more harm by attacking the murderous creature, he ensured their safety by moving them. She backed his decision one hundred percent.

Her ears perked and her head cocked to the side when he admitted he had eaten crap before but not crab. She could not help but ask, You've eaten crap before? On purpose? She wasn't judging him, but it sounded a little... weird. Still, he was up for the crab. Great! We have to find a rock first, she instructed, looking around the edge of where the sand met the grass. Finding one about the size of her paw, she picked it up, motioning for the male to follow her. Her eyes scanned the surrounding beach as she walked, looking for any movement. Spotting a crab, she bounded over to it, placing her paw directly in the center of its back. She dropped the rock beside her to speak, If you place your paw here, it can't pinch you, she said. Pick the rock up, then drop it right where my paw is, she instructed, just as Nerian had done with her, waiting to see if he would do it.