Wapun Meadow rising sun valley #2

Eyes stared intently at Bonnie for a moment before he nodded and opened his maw to continue "When i said i had to fight for my respect, i meant it literally. From the age i took a mentor, i was fighting wolves in the pack, earning a name for myself. I never stopped until i reached the rank of Beta. By then its a surprise my fangs and paws were not permanently coated in the blood of others. As beta , my alpha used me as the punisher for crimes, he made me torture our prisoners, he made me...he made me the one to kill the pups deemed unfit for survival." His eyes closed for a moment, as if the memory pained him, which indeed it did. Looking at her, his eyes were filled with sorrow " One pup...one pup i knew would survive, but the alpha still..made me kill her. I was so detached from all the blood, and screams that i couldn't stop myself. I had fought and killed and maimed for so long that I broke a piece of my soul, My sanity. That went on for two years until i found her on the borders. She was like nothing i had ever seen. Her pelt was the color of the night sky, her eyes so gold that they were the stars themselves."  his voice took on a fondness as he lost himself in the memories of his first and only love " Her name was Oxana, and she was stubborn. So very stubborn. She refused to leave the border line until I told her how to reach the lake. This if course made me very angry, and we fought like the gods themselves. She bested me of course, and as i lay underneath her, pinned I knew i was offiially lost to her. Instead of giving her directions i led her to the lake myself. We courted for a while, unbeknownst to my Alpha. It was against pack rules to mate with a loner. Soon she became my mate, we had pups. I had a family, and i was so happy. Happier than ever before. Soon my alpha took notice of my leaving so often and for so long, and he followed me. He watched as i fed my children, my wife. Then when i went off to fetch some more food to stock up, he killed her. He killed my mate. I came back and found her dead, the stench of my Alpha all over her beautiful body. My children were nowhere to be found, i hope they survived. That was the end of my loyalty to that pack. I went back, and was called a traior like my mother. It was technically true, but i was trying to get her to join. Anyways, I left immediately, and buried my sweetheart by the lake." He finished speaking, his ears laid flat against his head. taking a shuddering breath he realized he was shaking. Looking at Bonnie with pure misery in his eyes he spoke once more "I am a monster".