Silver Creek time

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he nodded, wilting somewhat. "i know." there was something here that was causing Rowan to repeat herself over and over again when it came to Laika. "but i wouldn't throw you aside because she came back. that would be wrong of me, even if you were all right with that," Cas intoned, his golden eyes coming to bear on the witch's lovely face. "that's not me." as much as he missed Laika, the Mayfair boy wasn't about to sacrifice these feelings for Rowan on the altar of correctness.
"you know i love them," he mumbled. he knew that the choice was clear now — he just didn't want to make it. "and i truly am happy when i'm around them. and you," Cas added in a shaking breath. "so ... uh. i'll come."
Cas felt the book close softly on the chapter of his life he had shared with Laika; it stung, and he knew he'd feel the true pain of it later. "every woman i've ever loved has left me in some way, Rowan," he gritted out. "Behati died — Aria moved on. Laika never came back."
his eyes found her own. "and i couldn't handle it another time, Rowe," he whispered. he wanted her, wanted the comfort of her body and her den, her gentle words, her natural warmth. but to love her as fully as he had adored the others — Cas was unsure if the capacity was still inside him.[/tr][/td][/table]