The Sunspire Nerves

Red heard and smelled Ferdie coming long before he arrived, and she didn’t know quite how she felt about that. Even though she had made no mention of her sudden urge to leave the Sunspire, she felt as if he already knew and was coming over to berate her for abandoning her pack. She was at war with herself inside, since she was very, very instinctually loyal to her Alpha and other pack members. So the fact that she also wanted to leave them was… difficult to swallow. She silently cursed her Coyote blood in that moment for being so damned nomadic and stubborn. And if her urge to leave really was due to her nomadic blood, who was to say she would stay with whatever pack she formed, if she did? How did she know she wasn’t just doomed to wander the Earth, staying in one place no longer than a few months and then feeling the overwhelming need to move on?

She sighed when he came and sat next to her, and felt the slight brush of his tail on her as he greeted her. She felt sick to her stomach, knowing that she would eventually have to tell him. And she was deathly afraid he would kick her out for wanting to leave. Which… made sense, in a way, if he did, but that didn’t mean it wouldn’t hurt. Awkwardly, she swallowed the lump in her throat, wondering if he would want to talk with her. She hated talking. Which was going to make telling him about wanting to leave even harder. She wasn’t sure if she had the words.

She trembled slightly, gritting her teeth and trying to make her body relax. It didn’t work. She simply sat there, shaking as if sick, and facing forward with an expression of stone.