Stavanger Bay Three ways to sunday

Thistle strode from the den her eyes sad and her body beaten. She was tired, the night before with Nerian had just about exhausted all of her resolve and at the moment her emotions were raw and on edge. She did not know what to do or what to think, but she did know that she had to think of something other than the thought of sharing. It made her sick, bile rose up in her throat and she felt like retching. It just wasn't fair that she felt the need to make him happy, was doing this and she began to resent even the thought, but she had thought it and it was there now. And she was certain Nerian would tell him all that transpired, but maybe not. She shook her head and walked away from the den irritated and sad.

Could she possible even be contemplating the thought of sharing her husband, her mother would kill her if she was here. It went against every single fiber of her being to do so to even think it really, but she was at a empasse. She did not wish to push her husband away, and make him resent her for making him choose, granted she had told him even before she had said yes that that was the only way she would stay, so he knew what he was getting into so in a way, she had every right to say no. But Nerian had all but said she was being selfish..was she? Was she just some evil selfish wolf? Did she pay attention to what her husband wanted, surely if he didn't think he would be able to do what she had told him too, he wouldn't have agreed right, so that wasn't selfish she had already told him, so he knew....so why the heck did she feel so darn bad about it. She did not agree with polygamy, But she felt that she should at least think about it, she imagined her biggest problem was thinking that he would fall in love with the other woman. She imagined the end result would still be no, but she at least owed both Nerian and her husband the passing fleeting thought, right. Especially given the way things had transpired, poor Nerian, Thistle had not realized the extent of the damage done to the poor woman's mind and she had half a mind to tell her husband about it, but she shook her head.

Perhaps it was true and she really was selfish and that Ragnar deserved someone better, because that is what it came down to what she took from her spat with Nerian. Nerian thought she was selfish and no good for him, and maybe she was right...and that thought alone want to cripple her.

She continued on coming to the edge of the clearing and she sat down staring off into space her mind so lost into itself that she didn't even know where she was. She lay down her head on her paws and she let her mind wander, though it always came back to the selfish character she had to hold to make Nerian hate her so much. She had thought she had hated Nerian, but she didn't, and she had never, she had just been upset with the clear lack of manners the woman possessed and how thistle felt she had disrespected what was supposed to be a holy union at least to her. Did jealousy really make her unhappy, she didn't think so she was happy she loved her husband and her children, she loved her life, she was allowed to have moments of weakness weren't they all? A tear slid down her face and she quickly wiped it away and she stood shaking her fur free of all that was there.

She looked around once twice and then she slid into the den and she began to dig furiously at the sides, hard work always made her feel better, and she had been putting off making niches for her herbs for far too long, so she just dug and dug and dug. Dig sift, dig sift. Her blue eyes ever so often straying to the children in the corner who still slept through it all.