Honeyed Pasture Abandoned but not forgotten

Every word she spoke was true. Indeed, this was not the first instance in which they had plagued his mind; jabbed at his lungs like claws through his ribs. But he had never heard them from Feyre, and that's what made this all the more painful to withstand.

He just kept watching her — sea-green orbs locked upon her every movement, drinking in the sudden familiarity of her presence and the warmth it entailed. He didn't realize it, but there were parts that he missed now more than ever: parts of her he had forgotten about besides everything that had pestered him for the months following her absence. Mon doux... The word made a smile flit to his lips; brief but visible even in the auburn light. A breeze seemed to rise upon the grass and push the field into a velveteen quake around them.

Could have been? The moment glitched within that statement. And then he almost flinched at the tone of her voice mentioning his newfound home. He had completely forgotten about that, and it certainly made his case look a lot worse.

"I had to find the ocean again," his voice was lower than before, but steady; even. "I grew up on the beach and... it was all I could think to do. I was depressed and I can't imagine what I might have done to myself had I not found the Rift."

Surely she understood that had it been the other way around, he would have searched for her. He would have traversed the ends of the earth for Feyre. How could she not believe that?

"I'd never ask for anything from you..," his voice was almost a whisper now. He had not heard his name upon her lips in so long. "I just miss you. So much. And I promise you I did not mean to abandon you. That's not what I thought I was doing... You just sounded so noncommital. It made me believe that maybe you regretted everything. So I decided by leaving, I wasn't putting you in that position anymore." It all sounded so messed up in the evening air; like some kind of unfair joke the world was playing upon him. He wanted to go back to that night and understand just what he was thinking, that he would give up this one piece of heaven.