Snowforest Taiga how can you ever learn what isn't shown

Cadeau listened to his feedback with earnest ears and round curious eyes, intent on taking whatever she could so she wouldn't burden anyone, even herself, again. She couldn't help but wince a bit at how he confessed she didn't look like a pure wolf, it lead into something more positive though which was a comfort. Instinctively though she couldn't ever really see herself with positive eyes. Cadeau felt ugly, she was just... too different and it growing up left a emotional wound no amount of licking would clean up. It only festered as all she did was pick at it. Pick, pick, pick...

She really needed to start listening to Illidan instead of ghosts from a distant past, this ghost before her in the form of a dark wolf knew better. She put her trust in him and hoped she could do what he told her, Cadeau was willing to try but the fear of failure trailed in her shadow. It left a bitter taste in her mouth and she wanted it gone for something sweeter. "I'm game to give it all I got, Illidan. Just... are you okay with me needing a shoulder to lean on sometimes?" She looked at him, feeling like a pup seeking out a hug after the bad dream has passed. "Its all so new and scary, I'm kind of overwhelmed here." Cadeau let out a nervous string of laughter to try relieving the pressure. She worried about burdening him, that it was a mistake he was taking her with him across wolf country and a mistake she was letting him in close to her walls. She was afraid of being hurt again, that he could displace one brick and send her downspirling back to the abyss she pain stakingly crawled out of. Worse, what if something on this journey hurt him because of what weight she carried? 

When Illidan told her she would always have a place in his pack, she couldn't help the surprise plastering across her face. She was touched, Cadeau giving him a wide smile and nod of her head. It seemed so little in the grand scheme of things but knowing she could have a place to possibly belong meant so much to her. She never belonged and it was something that smarted in her heart, even home had never felt like it. 

"Thank you... that means a lot." Her voice cracked the smallest bit near the end with emotion and embarrassed she looked away. "I wish I had something I could offer you back. I feel like I'm taking more than giving here." She paused when she realized she really had nothing she could give him, not a single thing. He would be playing escort and something of a teacher for however long they felt like doing this, Cadeau didn't know if he would have a fair share in this arrangement.

Cadeau turned back to him after she got control of the uncomfortable emotions swirling in her chest. "Just... I'm glad, that's all I want to say. I know gratitude is rotten payment but it's all I got."

I'm sorry you're putting your life on hold to help me. She knew it wasn't mutual comradery bringing them together, only a mutual goal, but she could let herself pretend she had someone who cared about her well being.