Duskfire Glacier A secret isn't a secret if I know

Jace was already turning, so he did not notice the lurch of the warden’s head or the way he double backed. He was far too lost in his own thoughts, trying his hardest to figure out what was going on. He trusted Ferdie, trusted him with his life. But lately the decisions being made were questionable at best, even some of Jace’s own decisions, so he wasn’t about to paint himself a saint and another a sinner, no that was not the case. He was still so very young, only a year and a half old, what was expected of him. Unlike Njal, even though Jace was not privy to the other’s thoughts, he had never forgotten what he had at the creek, and that is what had made it so hard to take the decisions and the hatred and the overall bile that everyone felt about him.

Jace wasn’t sure what he was doing, if he was doubting or just trying to make sense of everything, he had realized quickly once he had gotten injured that when he was alone with his thoughts they were dark things and dark places. He heard his name and ear twitching backward, he turned again grimacing, but keeping his footing and he perked his ears forward a little wary, but he was not about to attack another wolf, unless it was provoked, and he felt that Njal was the same way so he figured they would be okay at the moment.

Jace listened with his heart in his throat; he kept his gaze averted and his head down, not wanting to offend. Jace had not been led anywhere how many times did he have to tell everyone that, he had refused to kill another and then been kicked out, but he curbed his tongue keeping it to his self. He could argue until he was blue in the face, but no one would listen if they didn’t want too.

He laid ears back to his skull and spoke softly I do not know what I am doing or thinking anymore Njal. I’m adrift in a sea of thoughts and feelings that I can make neither hides nor tails of. I want to be loyal and trustworthy and I do my best and I try not to question, but what happens when you have more questions than answers? Where do you go from there? I cannot leave them right now, and I will not when my mind is in such turmoil, but that aside there are too many that rely on me at the moment my own sister, babies, but I will think on what you tell me. And I hope Njal that it is not too late for me whatever I decide. he grew quiet then he couldn’t make a decision, because he didn’t know how to. His thoughts were going round and around with no end in sight, his father had always told him to never make a decision until he had thought it through and he was doing his best and now Njal had just given him more to chew on.