Since... Since seeing Maera. Maybe sooner. When I was told Tuwawi had left - I didn't want to believe it, but,
He grit his teeth and turned away from the boy, his gaze sliding along the frosted earth. The sentence floated in the air, incomplete, until a new thought drifted in to his fevered mind.
What if I leave and she comes back? What if she never-
No, he couldn't fathom that. He couldn't think of that possibility even if it was so obvious. The words caught in his throat and he, wanting to scream and roar, breathed a great puff of air in to the morning light. Njal's head bowed briefly as he tried to collect his thoughts, which were many, and varied. It proved to be quite difficult.
And where could we go? I do not want a wanderer's life for my daughter. She deserves better than that.
They all deserved so much more, but he had failed them. As a father, as a leader... How could he even hope for something greater than what he had now?