Swiftcurrent Creek All I have is all that is gone.

For you, @Falwasi :)

She did not know how to regain control. In the weeks she'd been back in Swiftcurrent Creek, Paar had struggled to keep herself to herself. The ivory-pelted Kappa had greatly intimidated her on their chance encounter the afternoon after her arrival, which had left her feeling incredibly on edge. And then seeing Shadow again, broken and bleeding, was what forced her into a downward spiral of self-loathing; she struggled to see her leaving Noctisardor Bypass as anything but selfish.

She did love him, but hated him all the same. During their time alone he'd been a gentle, caring and doting partner; it was his bad attitude behind the scenes that she could never bring herself to accept. His keeping of slaves and captives disturbed her and had been one of the main things to send her packing - what other vile habits had he introduced to the pack that was promised to be her fail-safe? It made her feel physically sick to think of it.

Alone by the edge of her home's namesake that crisp Winter's eve, Paarthurnax quietly watched the glimmering surface with solemn copper eyes. She sank to her haunches and heaved a sigh, curled her feathery plume about her rear and wished that her life could be less troubled.