Blacktail Deer Plateau Brothers under the sun

I have no idea where this came from. :o I would be ashamed of him but he's beating himself up enough already. :/

Peregrine’s howl broke into Crete’s attempt to sneak off, out of Blacktail Deer Plateau to brood away from prying eyes, to puzzle out the hectic feelings that he currently could not make sense of. Hawkeye and Peregrine were mates, which had risen Peregrine to the Alpha Male position. Though Crete hated himself with every fiber of his being for feeling this way, despite the rational example he had to go off of, he disapproved. Of it all. And Crete loathed himself to the depths of Hell for feeling like that. Peregrine was a good guy - but so had been Tyrannus, once upon a time. He had been the epitome of cool older brother, and then he had become threatened by the males of his family - yes, hilariously, even the mute as Peregrine himself had pointed out. The mute. Who was never and would never be anything of a threat. To anyone. He couldn’t even patrol the borders without feeling like some kind of fake because he couldn’t verbally communicate to anyone - no matter if their intentions were good or not. Peregrine wouldn’t kick him out. Yet, he had thought the exact same about Tyrannus. And the mateship thing was a whole other matter of which made Crete feel ashamed sevenfold. He thought it was too soon, thought that they couldn’t possibly be in love with one another for they hadn’t known each other long enough. Admittedly, he was a massive skeptic on the whole “love at first sight” concept. Crete assumed that it was just because she was going to be going into heat directly and that she just wanted a guy to screw. Crete, despite how selfish he thought, did not want to see Peregrine hurt. She seemed pretty damn flirtatious to all of them, to Crete. Who was to say another strapping handsome male wouldn’t strut into their pack and be the apple of her eye next and she would drop Peregrine like a hot potato?

Crete hated himself for that thought, too. It was exceptionally cruel -- but he couldn’t help it. He was only going off of what he had seen of Hawkeye thus far. Aside from what she had chosen to tell him, and what he had deduced on his own - he knew nothing of who she was, what her motivations were. That bothered him.

He should have been happy for Peregrine. For the mateship. For the promotion. Yet, he could not make himself feel it over the anxieties that plagued him. And Crete wondered if he would be kicked out if nothing but for his traitorous and harsh thoughts - that his brothers who were very adept at reading his body language would likely be able to see in his mannerisms if he was not careful.

Or maybe Crete would leave on his own, and save himself another blow to his already wounded heart. It had been finally stitching together and yet he could only feel it tear apart with an agonizing slowness once more. Pregnant pause was given as the mute considered ignoring Peregrine’s call and continue on his way to get far enough away that he could work out everything before he approached his brother(s) on the matter. Peregrine was his alpha now - he could not directly ignore a summons. With a heavy sigh - knowing Crete was not ready to face this demon that dwelled like poison in his heart, turned and headed in Peregrine’s direction, ears slicking flat to his skull as he approached his brother, knowing that he should be showing some sort of submission (Perry was his alpha after all) but couldn’t force his suddenly frozen limbs to push him down. Peregrine, his brother’s name lingered as a question in his mind, echoing as a softened whisper that was destined to never leave his lips.

What Crete truly wanted in that very moment with a desperation he had no idea what to do with was Aether’s guidance.

table by houkie