Ouroboros Spine I've Got A Feeling Now, My Heart Is Frozen

Gaiban got the grenade tossed to him. and he was going to use it, no matter the consequences. He was determined to give his life fighting for the pack. He was now sure of it. Gaiban replied with a nod of the head. A feeling of assurance look spread across his entire being. He was strong. He just needed to become perfect. If he did something wrong, he wanted to get beaten for it. He was going to get trained to be a killing machine, bootcamp style.

He was loved this entire time. Physical circumstance didn't change what people really thought of him. It's hard to be soft on someone, if you see you are turning them useless.

Gaiban knew that was what Mara had almost done to him. A look of disgust crossed his face, and it was unlikely to ever go away fully. If Mara had tried to get him to like her, she had done it wrong.

His ego stopped shrinking right then. His alpha was his ruler. his mentor. His queen. Gaiban knew what he was going to do. He was going on a trip. When he returned, he would never know. But he would be a changed boy. In his time with the spine, he had learned so much, even helped take down a moose. He was not quitting the pack, no.
He was simply going on a trip for a while. And he was going to tell his alpha this. Not in an arrogant I'm leaving cause' I'm not happy way, but in a way that would be as if he was voicing his idea, in a curious way.

"Cara? Sorry I'm bothering you with so many questions, but." He wasn't scared of his alpha no more, but he was worried by his daunting journey ahead.
"I need to train. I might be gone for a while." Gaiban said, the same look of disgust toward Mara not fading yet.

He was going to die for the pack, and he wasn't going down without helping. This was the test to see if he could truly carry his weight. And if Cara refused, he would have to sneak away. His redemption could maybe, just maybe, be repaid in one go.