Blacktail Deer Plateau Every Time A Bell Rings

Engel had something on his mind, something that had left his mind since returning from Easthollow with Grayday and Day's children. When he had met that wolf, Howl. So, he went to seek out Day, going through the snow through the territory. He had no idea if Day would answer, but Engel was a risk taker...as long as he was sure it did not end in a fight. 

As he went along, he hummed to himself the song he had practiced to Howl. They seemed quite alike in Engel's mind. They both had run from something, both different no doubt. Though he had no idea.

@Grayday maybe? Anyone else welcome, and reply whenever you want

As Pema strolled through the pack that day when she came across the familiar pack member Engel. After talking with Dawn, and hearing what she had to say about him she wondered where it was comming from. This flirtious tendency that she had not witnessed yet. She had seen a more soft side that she suspected  most of the pack hadn't seen yet. Unsure of which he really was she approached him and greeted him asking, "Hey Engel. What are you up to?"

Forward dated to December 30th, with permission

Engel turned his head to see Pema approaching, and recalled how Aditya had said that Howl had recruited her. So perhaps she knew some things. "Oh, not much. Was just looking for Day, to ask something...maybe you could?" he asked, with a sidewards glance and a small smile. "It's about a wolf that used to be here. Howl?"

Pema obviously wasn't Day in that he knew almost everything going on with the pack, but she liked to think she was well informed about the important things. And she was more then willing to help answer any questions he could. "Sure. What's on your mind?" she asked before he gave his question.

"Ya. I know Howl. He used to be a member of the pack. What about him?" she asked. She thought it was strange that Howl would come up in conversation. After all he had been away from the pack for some time now and she was sure he hadn't been in the pack when Engel joined. How did he know Howl?

Engel waited for her to finish before he threw his question her way. "Well, I met him in Easthollow. And, I was curious to know why he left...so, I asked. And he said to ask Grayday. But, I was told he got you into Morningside, so you would have been here." He paused for a moment to take a breath, then continued. "Why did he leave?" Engel was so curious to know. Howl had been quite the mystery, most certainly.

"Yeah I was here." When she had ran into him she hadn't expected the conversation to take a rather serious turn. Engel likely didn't know what he was really asking. How much emotional weight revolved around the event. 

"It took everyone by surprise I think. He wan't kciked out or anything like that. He ended up leaving without a work, but it was understandable." she said glancing at Engel and sighing before proceeding. "There was an older female that used to be here too. She was his mate and despite the are difference and other things I really think they loved one another." Pema hadn't heard the whole story about the first bits of drama surrounded around Howl and Heartha, but she knew there was something, but it was soon disregarded with Howl's hard work towards the pack. "She ended up dying during child birth along with thier litter of pups. He was very angry about it and didn't leave her side for days it seemed. Then one day he left. I'm not even sure what day exactly." she explained looking at the ground and thinking of the event and his lashout towards her.

As Engel heard the story of Howl, his expression turned sad. He saw now why Howl did not wish to answer. "He did not speak of a mate...Wish I could say sorry to him..." By how Pema spoke about it, it was one of those 'two opposites attract' stories. He turned his head down to the ground for a moment.

"The female died from childbirth...may I ask if you knew this female well?" he asked, looking back up to meet her gaze. "It's just, it sounds like you met them both."

She nodded when Engel mentioned that Howl hadn't discussed about the event. It must still be really hard for him to think back on. "Ya I knew her. Well only alittle bit. She was already pregnant when I came here I think and we only talked about a handful of times. He had been with the pack for a really long time I think. One of the originals. Her name was Heartha." she explained, wishing now that she had spent more time to get to know her.

Engel was more and more interested in the tale of Howl, and his mate. He began to wonder what she was like, what she looked like, and things like that. But soon, he found that he already knew. He snapped out of his thoughts, staring Pema in the face in bewilderment. He didn't know how long he was frozen there, ever so silent. 

"That name....what was their name?" He was sure he hadn't heard it. No, it had to be impossible. She...she was dead. He was sure she was dead, she couldn't have survived. How could she have?

She saw the expression on his face but wasn't sure what part of the story was cauing it. "Heartha." she repeated wondering the significants of her name.

Engel heard it again. It was no lie, no trick of the mind. She had survived. And she had come here. Of all places, the one place he turned up at. He tried to speak, but found every word stuck in his throat. Until finally he could. "No...no, Heartha no..." He felt as if he was choking on his own words, and uttered a sob even. So deeply hurt was his heart. Bleeding emotions everywhere. "She...I never should have left her" was all he could murmur, till a long pause of silent crying came. Finally, he mustered the courage to ask.

"Wh....where? Where did she die?" He had to know. Just to see her. One last time. Even if it meant only a place she had once been.

Before Engel had a chance to speak it was clear that either the name or Heatha herself had some significants to Engel. He was almost speechless and as he began to speak he stumbled. Pema felt bad for him seeing how frantic his reaction was. It seemed as though he had known her and only now was hearing about her death. She wasn't sure his realation to her, but a lose of anyone you knew was often hard. He spoke about leaving her which Pema didn't understand, but she wanted him to calm down and relax a bit. Give him time to take it all in. "Engel... Engel calm down, it's not your fault." she said, not really knowing how to console a greaving individual. "Her and Howl had a den in the forest. That's where it happened." 

Engel's head lifted when she said where the location of Heartha had passed, and before she finished he headed off in that direction. He had to find where. He didn't look back to see if Pema was following. 

And that's when he came to a mound, where he supposed where she had been. He fell onto a seated position. And sat there silently, frozen and staring down at the mound. "How did this happen...Heartha, I thought you..." He wasn't sure what he could ay anymore. "I shouldn't have left you."

"Hey! Engel wait." she said before rushing after him. Conserned for his well being in this time of greaf. She knew that she was taking a risk. After all the first time she had attempted this Howl nearly bit her snout off. He got ahead of her, but she knew where their den had been, but when she got there Engel was no where to be seen. 

She could only think on one other spot he could have gone, another place in the woods where Heartha and the pups had been burried. She rushed over there to see Engel sitting before Heartha's grave. There were two mounds, but Pema knew which was which. The scent of Heartha was still strong enough that when she found them days after Howl had left she could still tell. She sat next to him, infront of the other mount and places a paw upon it.

With her absence he had most likely been there for a few minutes now. "How did you know her?" she asked lightly.

Engel didn't turn his head to ackowledge Pema's presence, all eyes remaining on the grave mound. "She was....she was the love of my life." He couldn't believe he would ever find the resting place of Heartha, ever. He had put it all behind him. 

"The pack was attacked...I lost a son and a mate that day" he added to the answer, amazingly his eyes had not gotten wet, not just yet. "I thought she was killed...So I ran. I kept on running, left it all behind." And Howl had managed to pick up the pieces. He had to admit, he now had newfound respect for Howl. If he could have met him again, he would have thanked him. For giving Heartha a no doubt happy end.

She supposed it wasn't the biggest leap to think Howl and Engel could have shared a mate without knowing it. Especially with how many years Heartha had been alive before she passed. But there was still an element of surprise, but it wasn't as strong as he feeling of sorrow after hearing Engel's shortened story. "I'm sorry." she said simply knowing that nothing she could saw would really make him feel better, but she tried. "I didn't know her too well, but I could see how happy she was before she passed. I like to think shes at peace." she said giving Engel a soft nuzzle on the shoulder, trying to show that she was there for him. 

She remember what he had said in the cave before he ran off, "She's the one you were talking about before, isn't she? The one in your song or poem."

Engel smiled at that thought. Howl had surely done a good job if what Pema said was true. "Did they live? The pups?" He knew if any had, they wouldn't be his. But he would at least want to know if her legacy had continued. 

He slowly nodded his head to the question. "I wasn't always like this, you know. I was more...reined in, so to speak. Not flirting with everyone I saw...because I had her." All of it was just a coping mechanism. A way to fill the forever empty hole in his heart.

She had said it before, but maybe he simply forgot or missed it when he had his realization when Pema had said her name. "No... They died with her." she repeated, once again looking down at their burrial mount and feel sorry that their lived had been so short that one might say it was none existant.

She felt bad to hear him talk about himself in such a negative way. As though the way he acted now was terrible and she was the only think that had kept him good. She could understand him not flirting with other girls when he had a mate, that was understandable, but she still believed that he could be good all on his own. After all she had never seen his renounced flirtatious side everyone was talking about. "I think you can still be reined in... when you want to be. I personally haven't seen you be 'unreined' since you have been here."

That pained him more to hear. So then she had no children to pass on her genes. The last he had seen, had been killed. He gave a half-hearted laugh towards Pema. "Well, no offense, but you didn't do anything I fancied...well, except the humming. I bet you would have a nice singing voice...." As soon as he said that, he knew it didn't feel right to compliment Pema when he was standing right by Heartha's grave. He was meant to be sad. So why could he not feel wholly sad?

She didn't take offense to it. After all it wasn't as though she had ever tired to win him over. The point she was trying to make was that he wasn't some bad person. Even in his statement, she had done something he somewhat liked and still hadn't attempted to seduce or flirt with her. "I don't think someone unreined would need a fancy to flirt with someone." she said alittle half heartedly, not truely arguing, but still sticking to her claim. "You're not a bad person Engel. Not now and not even back then." she stated. He thought they were dead, when else was he supposed to do, stay there and die himself.

That Engel could agree with. He recalled he had actually tried to flirt with Pema, but he didn't want to say that. But something he wasn't sure with, was with a good wolf? Just flirting with anyone, only to satisfy himself. But he decided to humor her. "Maybe I am...You're a good wolf too, Pema."

Even if Engel had tried to flirt with Pema at one point she had seen all his comments as compliments. Which to many people was flirting, but Pema though that someone could compliment another thought flirting with them. Nonetheless Pema saw herself as a good wolf. "Do you have any other questions for me?" she asked thinking back to how this whole conversation had began.

Engel shook his head. "I...I don't think I have anymore...I want to stay here with her, if that's okay. You can go back to wherever you were headed." Throughout the conversation, he may not have sounded like it, but he was hurt deeply by all this news. All of it thrown at him in one big hit to the heart. "Thank you."