Fox's Glade Guess Who

 

Backdated to the 14th (Assuming that doesn't conflict with you) @Brynn

 

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His mind had been all over the place as of late. Even though decisions had been made in regard to his relationships, that didn't mean things were any easier. To Howl's knowledge, Cebra was still within Easthollow trying to rekindle her relationship with Mawk. It was her decision to make and Howl understood what she had told him about it, but to him, it seemed as though she felt her relationship to Mawk was an obligation more then what she truly wanted. Also in Easthollow was Brynn who made it clear that she wanted to be with Howl, but that she wasn't willing to share him. Overall it had just been hard for him to muster the strength to be within the territory.

He told himself that he was indirectly helping the pack by lingering near its borders and providing it his distant presence, but he knew he was not contributing the amount he wanted to, let along at all. He wasn't even sure if the members of the pack had known what happened to him. But despite knowing all this he still seemed to lack the mental strength to cross the pack's borders once again. Until today. Today he was making his way back to the territory to talk with Val and see what his next move should be, and see if they might be willing to take him back.

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She had ventured outside the borders today after her patrol, but not too far, just to the forest that hugged the territory's norther border. It was a place she visited often, usually moving from the forested part of easthollow and continuing on past the borders like she did today.

She walked for a while before a certain male's scent made her freeze. The scent had completely faded from the territory, and so to pick it up now could only mean one thing--he was somewhere close by. She sighed in frustration. She did not want to see him. Their last conversation had ended with her broken heart and his empty promise to not give up on them. She didn't want to hear his bullshit then, and she most certainly didn't want to hear it now. She immediately began retracing her steps, hoping to make it back inside the borders before she ran into him. 

Luck was not on her side today it seemed because not even ten steps into her intended escape, there he was between the trees. She froze again, anger filling her expression. Howl. she said, her displeasure at seeing him clear in her tone. She wanted to run--get away from him and all the painful memories his face dredged up, but her feet wouldn't respond. It was for the best anyway. She was no coward.

On his way back to the territory he ran into a familiar, beautiful face. That of Brynn. Part of him was happy to see her. Still within the territory of Easthollow, safe and sound. But the other part of him knew that they still weren't on good terms. He had left her behind just as he had done to Cebra. At the time in his mind, there was still a chance for them, but Brynn made it clear that on her end it was over. He was confident that if she had given it a chance everything would have been alright. But he wasn't able to sway her. Even now part of him wanted her at his side but knew that she still wouldn't have it in her heart.

He could see the anger and displeasure in her expression, but he couldn't return it. He could only give her a faint smile, not blaming her for her reaction. "Hello Brynn" he said with faint charm.  "How have you been?"  he asked genuinely.

At first, she just glared at him. She wasn't sure she could just stand here and exchange small talk with the man who had gained and subsequently destroyed her closely guarded trust. She had allowed Howl have more of it than she had ever given anyone else--enough to have allowed herself to go farther with him than she had ever let herself go before. Honestly, she hadn't ever felt that way before, and to see him treat it like it was nothing was confusing and hurtful, even now after she hadn't seen him in weeks. She released another sigh, finally deciding to answer him but unsure why. She should just turn and walk away without any answers, but she was very irritated to discover that she still felt drawn to Howl. So, she finally spoke. I'm fine, she answered at first, her tone curt. But she found herself taking a step towards him and opening her mouth to speak again. I've been pretty busy helping the pack get ready for winter. 

She briefly looked away, unsure what else to say. Part of her was tempted by his scent and the memory of the safety and contentment that used to accompany it--that part wanted to move closer and greet him further with an affectionate nuzzle. The other part of her was burning with anger and betrayal and wanted to take a bite out of him--that part was urging her to bolt ad never look back. It was very disconcerting and confusing to have different parts of herself so at odds with each other, and it made it hard for her to come up with anything else to say. She looked back at him again, gaze meeting his, but she said nothing. She momentarily wondered what showed in her expression; she tried to keep her emotions from showing there, but her face was usually a traitor, always cluing others in to just exactly how she felt about things. Right now, her inner tumult was distracting enough that she didn't even think she cared.

She didn't go into much detail. Only that she was doing alright. Which he supposed is what he was hoping for. She then added that she had spent her time readying the pack for winter. And he wasn't quite sure if she said that to state a fact, or to also take a jab at his absence as of late. He supposed of it was she deserved to have it. Knowing that he hadn't been upholding his own standards as of late. He hoped that his welling ness to help doing the winter would be enough apology for Val. He knew it would take time but he was willing to wait.

"Then I'm sure with your help we must be well prepared then?" he stated as a question. Complementing her to keep her anger at bay but also to possibly get an update on the pack's current state. He assumed not much had changed but alot can happen in a short time.

She raised an eyebrow at him. We? she questioned. He had left without a single word, so the fact that he still considered himself a part of Easthollow was irritating. Still, she didn't press him further on the matter, instead deciding to answer his question. I guess so, she said, some of the fire leaving her tone. We have a lot of new members, so that helps, she continued, finally taking a seat. She was suddenly struck with the realization that he probably knew nothing about Illececbra. Part of her wanted to let him find out on his own--she owed him nothing, most especially not her sympathy. But, she wasn't a cruel woman, and it didn't feel right not to tell him. Also, I'm not sure if you know, but Illecebra passed recently of sickness. Her gaze fell a little, feeling sad for him despite everything. She was really cursing herself now; he didn't deserve her kindness, but yet she offered it like the idiot she was.

She questioned his phrasing, and he understood why. With his absence, it was possible that members of the pack may think that he simply left the pack for good. He wasn't quite sure what they were thinking. But if he was in fact considered a lone wolf at this point by the pack, he would have no problems entering it again and proving once again his worth. "More so you and the other than me." he corrected.

 Aside from his absence, it seemed as though the pack was doing well. Even bring in new members, which as long as they were able-bodied, should be able to help for the winter. "New and capable hands is always welcome. That's how I knew you would do well here." he said remembering when he introduced her to the pack. 

It took him a moment to digest and comprehend her last statement. It seemed as though the world slowed but the words hit him fast than anything. So fast they raced past and through him. The ones that stook was "Cebra" and "passed away". He walked towards Brynn closing the gap not thinking of the tension between them and only thinking of the words that she said.  "What do you mean passed?" he asked to ask redundantly in his fluster of emotions. "Sickness... What sickness?" he asked as though if he knew he could change the outcome.

She studied him as he spoke about new members being helpful and as he brought up his recruitment of her at the beginning of summer. It felt like such a long time ago, and she felt sad remembering that time before he had ruined her image of him. She looked away and shrugged, feeling uncomfortable with the compliment. She didn't want a reason to be less angry with him. 

He took the news of her packmate's death about how she expected. He moved closer to her, and she pulled her head back a little, unsure about his close proximity at first. She had spent so much time trying to convince herself that she hated him, but when he was this close, coming to terms with a loss and looking all sad, she knew she didn't hate him. She closed her eyes for a second and drew in a deep breath before opening them again and meeting his gaze. I'm not really sure. I don't think there was anything anyone could have done, though, she answered, her voice soothing instead of angry. Her knowledge of healing was incredibly limited, so she wasn't sure she'd be able to give him anymore details. I'm sorry, Howl, she offered solemnly. And she could hold back anymore; she closed whatever distance was left between them, pressing her head under his chin, attempting to comfort him.

Nothing about her answers was soothing to him, other than perhaps her tone. Dying of an unknown sickness made it sound as though one day she was there and then the next she wasn't. It was something that didn't sit right in his mind. Wolves didn't just die for no reason. She couldn't simply be gone. It wasn't the way it was meant to be. He could feel his heart begin to pound and his muscles begin to tense up. Though his head sat still on his shoulders it felt as though it were spinning in circles. 

That is when Brynn stepped forward and pressed her head against Howl's chin. Her touch was comforting. Familiar. Constant. He moved forward to embrace her. Then he simply stood there for a couple of long moments. Taking in this moment as it combated the harsh reality of Cebra's death. 

He had wanted to go back to the park. Reinstate his placement within the pack, but now he wasn't sure. There was soo much at Easthollow that caused him pain. And yet there were still things that brought him joy, one of which stood right before him. But even that was uneasy. It was too much. This place was too much.

"Thank you"  he said to her before pulling back to look her in the eye. "I think it would be best if I just stayed gone."  he spoke genuinely.  "This place... it's... too much right now. I need something new... something fresh... something I haven't had a chance to mess up."  he stated trying to explain his reasoning as best he could. "Could you send @Valette my regards and let her know my apologies." he wanted her to know but knew he needed to leave. 

"I'm sorry things didn't turn out as we had planned, but I hope Easthollow is a place you can call home for awhile... Till next time" he said before giving her a faint kiss on the cheek, and heading off.