Ravensblood Forest What Do I Have Left?

All welcome but perhaps @Bilah? <3

Lorelai had nothing left. Luka and Lennox had disappeared, Lenora gone to Sapphique. Violante and Vagabond were typically too busy with their own children to assist with her failing mental health, and she was not coping well. She had begun to forego food, and was losing weight.

The one thing that gave her peace was being out in nature, a first for her, as she typically feared being far from home. But, Sacrarium was safe — her leaders, and even the whelps, saw to that. Out in a patch of wildflowers, Lorelai sighed and laid down. She felt fairly useless here, and didn't know what to do. If she were being honest with herself, she was losing her will to live... but she feared death too much to do anything about it.

Shiver slightly despite the heat, Lorelai let out a soft call for whomever might be available.

Bilah had desperately tried to give Lenora the best adventures he could but the damage had already been done. The pup had left and the rest of Lorelai's family had disappeared too. He hadn't seen her around too often as he had been too busy acquainting himself with the land. Luckily, he wasn't far from her when he heard her call. He spotted the woman in a patch of wildflowers. She looked underfed, and unwell. He chuffed gently to let her know of his approach.

He laid down next to her, close enough that their fur bristled together so that she could lean away or lean into him. He would have to have to make sure she started eating from now on.

The chuff startled her and she flinched, ears angling back before she recognized Bilah. He was a welcome addition to Sacrarium, and she trusted him thanks to him bringing Lenora home. She smiled weakly at him, and when he laid down beside her, she did not move away.

He was dark-furred, perhaps a bit rugged, and handsome... but he was not Luka. She felt guilty, allowing him this close, but she needed it, and Luka was not here. He never really had been. Lorelai swallowed a lump in her throat, then cleared her throat.

"Hi... Sorry, I — my brain started going places and I... I got scared." But then again, she feared mostly everything.

Bilah waited patiently as the young mystic gathered her thoughts. It was clear she had plenty on her mind, and he was happy to be a listening ear if she wished for one. He was relieved that she did not move away, it meant that he was providing her with some comfort, he was thankful for that. "You shouldn't feel bad for asking for help." He smiled gently at her. "Would you like to talk?"

Lorelai took a deep breath, nodding. She did want to talk, but she was not quite sure where to begin. "Would you... gather herbs with me? It'll keep me focused and, well, my stock is running low." She could only keep fresh herbs fresh for so long, and not every herb could be dried. For instance, she'd been using lots of lavender, just for herself. There was even a patch of it nearby, and she studied it while she spoke.

"As you know, I had a pup. Two, actually, and a mate, but he left and I think he took my daughter with him." How could he? Sighing, she leaned in to inhale the stalky flower, then plucked a few from the soil. "My other daughter hates me," her words were derisive. She looked back to Bilah. "What kind of mom does that make me?"

"A very scared and very overly cautious one." Bilah answered honestly. "Lenora will realize that she does not hate you. I'm sure she'll come to understand your nightmares have caused you to be overly cautious, she is simply too young and too rebellious to understand right now." He knew this wouldn't exactly help in the moment. He picked a few lavender stalks as well for her. " A cautious mom makes you a good mom." He leaned into her reassuringly.

Lorelai hoped Bilah was right, that Lenora did not hate her and that one day, she would come to her senses, perhaps even come home. Her children knew nothing of the pains of their conception, their birth, poor little Lynette, stillborn. She never planned to tell them these things — though, they knew of course about their deceased sister. But the rest? No. She would never put that on them.

She swallowed hard, then took in another breath of the lavender. It was wonderful. Bilah leaned into her, and she refocused on him, giving him a tired smile. "I think I should crush some of this up... put it in my bed." She eyed the stalks she had, and decided to pluck just a few more — the wildflower patch had plenty.

"Do you know much about herbs, Bilah?" she inquired lightly as her eyes turned to scan for chamomile.

Bilah watched as she thought, his massive frame towering over hers. An odd wave of protectiveness overwhelmed him. He thought nothing of it. It was natural for him to want to take away the pain of others. Lorelai would be no different, of course, he told himself. She mentioned putting lavender in her bed, his mind was continuing to drift. She regained his attention then with a question. "Yes, some, but not as much as I'd like. Make sure you change the your lavender out every week, it loses its smell. My apologies, my mind was wandering for a moment." He smiled kindly at her. He couldn't stop himself from placing a gentle kiss upon the top of her head.

At his advice, Lorelai chuckled lightly, saying, Oh, don't worry, I know. She had been trained by Erzulie, after all, who had taught her everything there was to know about healing and herbs, among many other things.

She was distracted by the kiss to her head, and she smiled nervously, showing her teeth. It felt wrong, but it was nice, in a way. She decided to say nothing of it for now, instead moving to a patch of chamomile.

I was trained by an amazing woman named Erzulie, of Sapphique. I needed to learn fast on account of the whelps, she sighed softly, but pushed her sorrow away for now. Anyways... chamomile is good for sleep as well as lavender. You can make it into tea, if you can find hot water. Lorelai began to gather several bunches of the flowers.

He frowned as she moved away from him, unsure of whether he was crossing boundaries. He felt conflicted, but the kiss felt like such a natural thing to do at the time. He decided to ignore the distance she'd placed between them for now, deciding not to read into messages that may not be there.

Her smile made his heart happy, he wanted to make her smile more. He wondered how he could.

He watched her delicate frame as she gathered the chamomile and spoke of her mentor. Erzulie must be a talented woman to be able teach you in such a short time, and you must be very bright to have picked up on it so quickly. Then she said something that completely confused him.

What on earth is tea?

Lorelai giggled at his inquiry. Tea is, um... it's hot water, mixed with herbs. You let the herbs soak, and the water will change colors. You drink it, it's good for when you're sick. She smiled, then plucked a few more bunches of chamomile. They were small, pretty flowers. I think I'll put some of this in my den, too. She had enough for now, and she told him, I'm all set, I think. Um... thank you, for talking to me. It means a lot...

Bilah loved the sound of her giggle, it made him happy. Still he didn't quite understand why he'd ever drink anything hot, it just didn't make sense to him, but he'd never go against a healer's orders. She obviously knew what she was doing. He smiled at her It was no problem at all, I've enjoyed our talk, we should do it more often.

We should, she agreed, grinning. Again, she felt the stirrings of guilt, and again she pushed them away. Let's head back, she said as she carefully gathered up her bundles of herbs. It had been a good, productive day, and she was feeling better. Brushing against Bilah, Lorelai would lead the way home.

ending for us!