Northstar Vale La Perle et le Suie

Settling into her nest, Viskani had found a moment of peace. A moment to think.

With her pack growing by the day it was time to consider where each member fit. It felt obvious for most of her members.

She, of course, was the Matriarche. Chaudry and Paladé her Glaïeul's, Kaaya her Lavande, and Mnemosyne's would soon make a fine Brin or Muflier.

@Tousaint and @Chesley were what left her lost. Both had expressed a desire for high ranking, but with the size of the pack it only made sense for one to gain it.

Chesley was her son, and she knew he would be as loyal as could be. He was a smart boy when he truly wished to be, and more importantly he had been preparing for the role since he was young.

Tousaint on the other hand had the charisma for the role. He was young, yet he had managed to meet her expectations. At times she was unsure she could meet his.

She would need to make up her mind before her journey, it was approaching quickly. One needed to be entrusted with the control of the pack in her absence, and the moons of rest that would follow her return should she be successful.

His eye had grown cloudy now, and he could tell his vision was being affected. Bright lights hurt, his vision in the dark was nonexistent, and when he could see, it was blurry. His cheek remained darkened where a steady stream of tears leaked from the corner. He feared it wouldn't heal. 

How was he supposed to hold a high position with a marred face. Chaudry would be responsible for this. 

He'd heard whisperings of Tousaint being given his role, which was frustrating. How his own mother could even consider betraying him in such a way was worrying on many levels. He figured they were due for a chat. 

He found her resting and wasted no time settling beside her, resting his head on his paws in front of him before speaking. 

"How am I doing, mother?" he asked. The question was blunt, but he felt no need to dance around a topic with her.

Interrupting her thoughts, Chesley had settled down beside her. Her heart ached for the boy as she looked down at his clouded eye. "That's quite the odd question." She responded with a smile, licking the top of his head just as she would have when he was young.

Brushing off her worries, she hoped to drive Chesley away from the topic of who would become Iris. She was sure he had heard the rumours by now.

"How has your eye been feeling, my dear?"

He didn't move when his mother gave him a kiss, instead exhaling an audible sigh. He figured she would want to redirect the question, but the last thing he wanted to think about was his eye. 

The lie was that it would heal up soon, be back to normal. It's what he wanted to believe, but nothing really pointed to that being the case. 

"It hurts, mom." was what he settled on. "I wish I hadn't let stupid Chaudry drag me into his mess."

She looked at the boy with worry as he spoke. Her heart welled with love for him, and she only wished she could do more to help. "He's been beating himself up for it since the two of you got back." She said, frowning.

"Injuries are a part of life, I won't prosecute you for it if that's what worries you." She understood where such ideas may come from; the matriarche of their birth pack was much harsher on those who gained disfiguring injuries. That was where herself and her mother did not exactly agree.

He turned to face his mother briefly. He wanted to see her face as she said it. He wanted to believe her, but loss of vision, even in just one eye, meant he was no longer the perfect specimen he had been. He didn’t want to face his mother every day knowing she might harbor disdain, or pity, or any other feeling she might conjure up looking at her imperfect son. 

And fuck Chaudry. He wished he’d beat himself up harder. 

”It does,” he told her, then turned to place his head back on his paws with an audible huff. 

”I guess it’s a good thing that child showed up when he did. Otherwise we might be without an Iris.” 

He was of course referring to Tousaint. He’d had plenty of time to work himself up over the wolf. But he was a child. He had no place taking his rank.

Furrowing her brow as the boy spoke, she couldn't help but be puzzled. "Do you mean to say that you no longer want to be my Iris?" She asked. While it would certainly make her decision much easier, she would hate to see all of his training go to waste.

She could hear the disdain in Chesley's voice, a tone that to her sounded like nails to a chalkboard. Tousaint was a good resource - she did not wish for Chesley to make an enemy of him. Not yet.

"I didn't think that your injury had discouraged you so deeply."

Her words angered him. Maybe she did not recognize his sarcasm. 

"Of course I still want to be your Iris." 

What could possibly give her the idea that he didn't. He was the most qualified, and he'd been training for it practically his whole life. 

"And it is not just the eye that's discouraging me. That's just part of it."

Her eye twitched as her son spoke - a rare break in her perfected demeanor. "Then tell me, hm?" She insisted, nudging the boy with her muzzle. "I cannot help if you otherwise."

She was beginning to wonder if she had been neglecting Chesley. How could she do such a thing in his time of need? What kind of mother was she?

He moved his head over his paw, now facing away from his mother. 

How could she not see what was going on? She was smart. He chose to believe she did know. So he would say nothing.

She gave him another nudge in response to the silence, laying her head down a moment later. It was difficult not to grow frustrated in the face of such stubborn behaviour, but she wished to be patient with him.

"Chesley, you know how much this hurts me.. please don't be so cruel." She insisted with a gentle frown.

Cruel was even considering someone else for his role. Betrayal was one thing, but a mother putting someone before her son was another. 

"He's a child mother. And he's not your son. I'd feel better about this if it was due to my eye, because then I could know for sure where I went wrong."

"You did nothing wrong." She was quick to respond, lifting her head. Why did he feel so threatened by Tousaint? She could not understand such insecurities. "Why do you resent him? Surely you understand that the role is not occupied by a sole member."

Truthfully, the current size of the pack did not demand the presence of more than one Iris. She could certainly appoint both boys, but they would need to be willing to work outside of their role.

He hated how she was belittling his problems. If he’d done nothing wrong then this conversation wouldn’t be happening. 

He almost growled at her when she mentioned the role not being exclusive, but remembered who he was talking to before acting. She knew as well as he did that the pack wasn’t large enough to warrant a second Iris. Maybe later on, and maybe then Tousaint would be a good pick, but not at first. 

He was done here, though. He wasn’t getting the answers he wanted, or the empathetic warmth he expected from her. 

He pushed to his paws. 

”Forget it,” he said, not turning to face her. 

”Good night, mother,” he added, before quickly retreating from the den. 

Exiting unless stopped.