When a counselor needs council

Set a few days after BWP. @Ayana maybe? (Because I feel like she would be good at this xD) Or maybe @Meldresi herself!

Black Feather was a mess, the foul water of the swamps had risen with the heavy weather from a few days ago. Half of their territory was flooded with water and it wasn't even clean water! Burke tried to keep everyone safe in the Infirmary. It had been a special cave used for healing and it was only the western part of Mephala's web that was flooded with the swamp water. But Burke felt like he had failed. He was the counsellor of his pack, the peace bringer, but he couldn't even keep his own peace. He had been running around to help his members, running from one place to another to keep his pack mates fed, taken care of and most of all healthy. But what if the counsellor needed some council himself?

Burke moved back to his spot on the borders, which was now surrounded by water from Otter creek. He just slumped his body down on the patch of dry land. He felt horrible. When he arrived at Black Feather he told himself that he wasn't going to open his heart. Only work hard. He wasn't going to love so he would avoid a hurting heart. Yet, there was Meldresi and her three pups. Now he was feeling heartbroken and it felt horrible. Burke cursed himself. He had prayed to their gods every night. It would be a miracle if his mate had survived this storm on her own. He missed her terribly. He also felt like he failed with her children. He didn't know where Potema was, and she only had one eye god damn it! The dark king was just as a mess as his territory was. Half broken. He wasn't sure where Damien was now, or Cicero.

His mud-covered body was slumped against the ground, his pale eyes looking in the distance hoping to see Meldresi. He needed her. Not only the comfort but just her way of thinking. He was the bad cop, she was his good cop. They were a team. It felt like his limb was cut off. The woods didn't feel the same without her. Burke was so tired. He had been working harder than he ever had these past few days and he had been a workaholic before. He was always there when called with the bare minimum of sleep. He just wanted to show his packmates that he was there for them, so they wouldn't doubt his hard work. Though even the strongest would feel their moment of weakness at times. Burke was a mess he tried to conceal very well.

Ayana woke up surrounded by her fellow pack mates. The cave smelled of blood and death, probably rotten meat or even the blood of hurt wolves. The storm still made her shiver, she remembered exactly how the lightnings struck and how the heaven shouted. It was the loudest, cariest thing she had ever seen.
The nights after the storm went alright, in Ayana's opinion. Lusa was hurt, her paw was injured, which made Ayana feel weird in her heart - she wondered if that were actual feelings or if she was simply disgusted when she thought of the cracking sound Lusa's paw made - but all in all the wolves seemed to feel better again. However, some of the pack was missing. Ayana didn't know where they went, maybe they had found some dry place to sleep in or helped to tidy up the territroy.

Ayana decided to stand up and strech herself out. The air was cold and Ayana was kind of hungry. It seemed like all the animals had disappeared and the pack had no chance to hunt any fresh meat. But she knew that sooner or later something had to happen. It simply had to.
She stepped outside the cave and looked around, wondering if she could help anyone. Lusa? No, Grimnir was being a good father and taking care of her pups and Lusa herself. And this new cold, Cyn, was there too. Ayana didn't like her very much, which was weird because she didn't know her, but she felt like the female was dangerous for the friendship? between Ayana and Lusa. It was just a feeling.

Then she heard a wolf stepping away. Must be a male, his steps were heavy and sounded like the wolf was on some kind of mission - Burke? Ayana decided to follow him, maybe he could offer her a job. She wanted to help as she was rather new to the pack and felt like her help was well-needed now. The black wolf ran up to a dry place, looking around sadly. What was wrong?
She came up to him. "Burke.", she sad. Then she understood.
The territory as she knew it was gone. Fully covered in mud and water, the dark trees and small caves looked lost, abandoned. Ayana felt weird. Ew. See, Ayana. That's what you get for joining a new pack. Feelings. Stupid girl. "Burke? Is everything..", she started but decided to stop. He didn't look like he wanted company. However, maybe he could actually use some help? Ayana wasn't the strongest wolf, but she knew how to tidy stuff, that was for sure.
"You've been doing a great job, you know? Nobody knew it would be this way. The whole pack is thankful for your work, Burke ... So I thought maybe you have something that I could help you with?", Ayana said. She felt like something was wrong with him, she had never seen him as weak and quiet as now. It was like a part of him was missing.

Burke hadn't realized that Ayana had followed him. To him it was almost as if she had found him like this. Burke's head was laying on the ground and he let out a soft grunt when he heard Ayana's voice. Her scent came later on because with the slight rain. Burke pushed himself up in a sitting position, his head lifting. He wasn't keen on showing his pack member how much he was feeling down. They didn't need to know that. He needed to be a strong leader for them. He nodded courtly when she spoke all these nice things to him. "Hey Ayana," he spoke calmly, as calm as ever. He managed to hide it a bit but he couldn't stop his troubled thought from racing. "Those are kind words that mean a lot to me," he spoke with a hint of a grateful smile.

It wasn't necessarily about the woods that were being damaged. It was the fact that he didn't have his dark queen with him. That he was clueless what happened to the three spiderlings. Burke let out a sigh. "I don't know if you can help me," he returned, sounding surprisingly honest. "It isn't that I blame myself for this storm actually," he wanted her to know that. He just wished that he would have seen his mate more. He didn't want to give up on her so soon but he had to be reasonable... right? His pale eyes fell on the lighter female. "Do you think a wolf, all alone, would have survived this storm," he asked, trying to see what she would think about it.

He looked horrible. She was right, something was bothering him, but it didn't seem like it was just the storm, there was more about it, something deeper which probably had to do with feelings. She shivered. She sat down next to him, looking around the territory. This place was beautiful and it was one of the few dry spots around. She looked at him, his powerful aura was still around but it was different. There was a hint of worry which Ayana felt. Is made her sad. Not sad. You don't even care. He's your alpha and you're here to do some job and not be his counselor. But maybe that was exaclty what she wanted to do. She wanted to be there for him, just like he was there for her when she almost told him about her brother.

[b"]She would."[/b], she said, referring to the question he had asked. She knew it was about Meldresi, he missed her. She was gone for a while and everyone wondered when she'd be back. Even Ayana felt kind of weird without the dark Queen. But she was sure that the female was still alive. Meldresi was powerful, probably the most powerful female Ayana had ever met. And Burke knew that, he just wasn't sure. Love made one blind, and the blindness was tough for Burke.
"She's strong. And clever. I genuinely think she's fine ..." She hesitated. Ayana wanted to offer her help in finding the Queen, but she didn't know if that was too much for Burke.

She stood up and looked him in the eyes, which lost some of their depth. He seemes so disappointed, so hurt and kind of "fragile" although at the same time he made sure to keep up his manners. He didn't complain about anything, which Ayana appreciated. She couldn't deel with whiny wolves, it made her feel sick. But Burke was different. Ayana felt sorry for him, it must be hard to miss a part of oneself. And Meldresi was exactly that to Burke, Ayana thought. They were a team and it was difficult to handle a whole pack without the other half. "I know it's not my right, but I want to offer you my support. No matter what this might cost. I will be there.", she said, unsure about what effects this would have.

Sorry, I was kind of busy (friend's 18th birthday - wohoo!)

Not to worry! And if you want you can totally use this thread for Ayana to become a counselor! (It is a trade you can get and you get exp for it!)

Burke wasn't a sappy wolf, or one that would tend to sulk. But after this storm he wasn't so confident about his wife making this. They were on the edge of it, what if she was right in the eye of the storm? Even a super wolf wouldn't survive such a thing. A soft grunt came from his throat. Damn it. He wished he could search for her. But a pack without alpha was basically a group of rebels. He hat stepped up from the Beta position when Meldresi needed time so there was no Beta that could lead the pack. He was definitely not letting Grimnir in charge. He would set fire to every wolf he hated under the motto that he was in charge. Burke shook his head at that thought. That reminded him that he would need to train the wolf, as a promise. Thoughts for later.

Somehow Ayana knew he was talking about Meldresi, or at least it felt like she knew. Maybe she also had a counselor side like Burke had. For a tank like Burke he had rather strange trades, counselor and caretaker. Funny thing was, he actually enjoyed those trades. His counselor made him a good diplomat and he would try to advise his packmates. Plus he was kind of a peacekeeper. He liked that idea. Burke let out a long and deep sigh as he pushed himself into a sitting position. "I am not sure you can give the the kind of support I need," he stated, somehow sounding a bit... weird. "But thank you for the offer. I might set out a quest, letting one or two wolves search outside of Black Feather for Meldresi." He wasn't going to talk around the fact anymore that he missed her. Ayana seemed to be smart enough to know that it was Meldresi he was worried about.

"Or do you have any other suggestions? Any ideas where she might be?,"he asked. Burke was rather clueless what to do. He really wanted Meldresi back and she wasn't one to say away for this amount of time. "She must be injured. She must be. Otherwise she would never stay away this long. Or worse! She is captured! I will murder the pack who kidnapped her. All of them! Rip their heads off!," Burke let out venomously. With Meldresi not around he noticed that his aggressive nature was returning.

She knew that the situation wasn't funny or unimportant, at least not for Burke. But she couldn't help but chuckle a little, it was kind of sweet how worried the big wolf was. It didn't really fit his image, he tended to be so intimidating in his appearance, although Ayana wasn't that impressed when she first met him the day she joined Blackfeather. However, in the past weeks of being member of the dark pack, Ayana learned more about the alpha and he more and more intimidated her with his aura. Whenever she saw him, she shivered a little. Not that she was scared, it was more of a sign of respect. In this moment her respect was surprisingly much, maybde because she felt like Burke opened up to her.
Yet, Ayana was kind of sad, it did actually affect her how worried Burke was, no matter if that fit her image or not. She noticed how hurt the dark wolf was and it made Ayana feel like she needed to say or do something supportive. Don't be silly. He told you he doesn't need your help. YOu're simply too dumb to help, you're not worthy of that. Just forget it, let it be.

Ayana looked at Burke when he asked her where his other half might be. She didn't know. And she felt sorry about it. "You know, Burke, missing someone is your heart's way of reminding you that you still love them.", she said with a gentle voice. Excuse me? Where did that come from? Are we all lovey-dovey now, Ayana? Wow. You're worse than I thought. Ayana was surprised o by her words, they seemed to have just come out of her without thinking, which she ALWAYS did. She never spoke before thinking. Well, until now.

"I don't know how it feels. I never loved someone. But you can't give in to your worries, don't be scared of them. It is okay to worry, but it's not okay to be scared to worry." Sorry, what? That's rather confusing. Ayana tried really hard to explain that Burke definitely should worry, but try to keep it low. Meldresi was such an impressive woman, she probably had some imprtant things to do, Ayana explained. "You know yourself that the problem isn't solvable, right? Nobody knows where she is, but I do know that deep inside of you you also know that she is alright. Can't you ... like ... feel it? Ayana told Burke about how her mother once told her that your heart knows when someone you love is in danger. Ayana never understood, but maybe Burke did. The female didn't give up on him, no matter what the voices in her head were saying.

Burke looked at Ayana and raised one for on his brow. He almost looked amused at her words for a moment. "What makes you think I don't love Meldresi? I freaking adore her," he slipped out. He looked at the light colored female and then gave her a bit of a glare. But why should he hide how much he loved Meldresi. He still had his fearful nature. He loved his dark female. He then listened to her next words and nodded slowly. There was some truth in that. There was only one thing that really frustrated him was that the couldn't go look for her. He had no beta that he could leave in charge. Burke let out a long sigh. And the storm had him worried too. He never really felt worry before. He must really love the damn woman. She better come back to him before she made him truly heartbroken.

Burke looked at her skeptically. "I don't know to who's sappy stuff you have been listening but I don't think that is true," he returned. He was lying though. Because if he really looked into his heart he had the gut feeling she was close to death, or at least very badly injured, which was why he was worrying. His pale eyes glanced at the male for a moment and then let out a frustrated growl. "She is injured. That I feel," he let out stubbornly to the golden girl. Burke admitting it only made it more real for him. But his wifey was a healer and a good one at that. She would make it. Right? He couldn't leave these lands for too long. He was their leader after all.

The situation Burke - and with him the whole pack - was in was extremely difficult. Ayana still didn't plan her words and it frustrated her in a way that it seemed like she wasn't helping the male at all. She wanted to help, but she couldn't really do anything. Her mind fcussed on possible solutions, but there barely were any at all. If Burke went, someone would have to lead the pack. But who? Grimnir? Ayana shivered. She didn't want to imagine what he'd do to her if he was the only leader without any control ... Although maybe now that he was a father he changed and maybe Lusa would be the controlling power by his side, if she had time for that next to her pups. Maybe it could work, but it also could go horribly wrong.
For a short moment Ayana felt weird about the pack, it seemed like there weren't many experienced leaders except Burke and Meldresi. The pack was full of younger wolves or ones that haven't got a lot of experience, such as herself. It was a dilemma.

"You know ... Maybe if you want to go find her.. Grimnir could maybe look after the pack.", Ayana said, knowing that Burke wouldn't like the idea. But for now this was the only opportunity they had if Burke wanted to do something to find his significant other. "Or maybe someone could look for Mel. I could do it, if you want me to. Nobody really needs me here anyway...", the light wolf said, with a sad untertone in her words. She hated feeling useless, no matter how much she hated feeling loved, there was a thing in her which loved success and being appreciated. But you don't deserve it. ,,Burke does. He needs Mel, he can't even hide his feelings anymore, I'm scared he'll cry like a pup if Meldresi doesn't come back soon", she thought to herself.

Burke let out a bark of laughter that slowly turned into a vicious growl. "Grimnir will never be in the upper ranks of this pack," Burke spoke and shook his head. "He is unfit to lead with his --- " He almost spilled the bean about Grimnir's condition. Burke was not that kind of wolf and he would not tell it to everyone while it was told in confidence. "-- Aggression." Burke then let out a long sigh, turning his gaze back to Ayana. Little did Burke know that Ayana also had a voice in her head like Grimnir had. If only he knew. Maybe she and Grimnir would have been a better couple compared to Lusa and Grimnir. 

He frowned when she spoke so dismissively about herself. Was there any buried insecurities under that golden fur of her. "You are needed for Lusa, you are a good friend to her and with having Chevalier missing you need to be her comfort. I don't think Grimnir will give her a lot of comfort. Alas, I don't know much about how Grimnir is around Lusa. He does seem to genuinely care for her." Burke looked over the horizon for a moment. He was actually a believer of what happened in his life was just a test to prove himself. He had gone so long without loving a wolf, loving anyone else but himself, that life was just testing him if he really loved Meldresi. That was it. It had to be. He also knew that Meldresi trusted him with the pack and trusted him with her babies. If she returned and he managed the pack well, and cared for her almost grown youngsters, then it would definitely show how much he loved her.

"I think it is just a test, a test to see how much I love Meldresi," he spoke with a court nod.

Ayana thought about Burke's statement for a while. Wans't that exactly what she thought about life the whole time? That nothing was coincidence and someone already made plans for every wolf out there? Even for every rabbit or deer, any living creature really. She softly shook her head. Ayana was so unsure of her whole situation. Her past layed so heavy on her weak shoulders, it was extremely difficult to act out the role of a nice, caring wolf. However, she felt like she more and more turned into one. And she didn't know whether she liked it or not.

"You became a dark brother not too long ago, right?", Ayana said, hoping Burke was still listening. He seemed like his thoughts were drifting away as he looked around the horizon. The sun was going down slowly and the soft breeze turned into a colder wind.
"What if they are actually testing you like you said? Not any wolves, not Meldresi, but the ... Gods? A wise wolf once told me about brotherhoods and Gods. The wolf taught me how our lives are already planned out for each and every one of us ... There was a time in my life when I didn't believe it all, but eventually believing in it made many things a lot more manageable for me. You know, Burke. I had a brother once. Sweet and innocent he was, but he had something inside him that made it impossible for him to live in this world. He needed to leave." Her voice suddenly broke. She stopped for a second and thought exactly about what she just said. Surprisingly, the voices in her head were quiet, and so was Ayana. She wasn't shivering at the thought of her brother, nor were her muscles tightening or anger rising up in her. She was calm, almost as if what she told Burke about was just another fairytale the wise wolf told her. She continued: "My brother left this world and I am still ... struggling with it. But when I think about my life being planned out it makes it easier, it's as if he was meant to leave, so there's nothing I could have done about it."

The light wolf hoped that Burke could make use of her blabbing. She also hoped he wouldn't notice how dark her mind was again, which Ayana didn't even notice herself. But there was a slight undertone in his words which made something inside her shiver, although she felt relaxed. Like the calm before the storm.

Burke looked at Ayana when she asked about him being a Dark Brother. "No. First I became a Dark Brother in my second Month, after that I was the Beta for a long time, then I got mated to Meldresi, after we were mated she took off, because she took off I stepped up as the alpha," Burke explained the timeline. Being a Dark Brother wasn't the test, it was his mateship with Meldresi that he thought was a test. Burke had settled really well in his Beta role, being the alpha was just a step different. He had been an alpha before, not a very good one. But now he was bettering his life. 

Ayana started to talk and explain about her own life. He was interested to hear about it since it would make him understand more about her. She seemed to have the same vision as he had, that his life was being tested, though she thought of it as a step further. A whole life predicted? Burke didn't agree with that. I think there were several outcomes in one's life. You just had to choose the path that you like the best. But believing that this was a test made it indeed more easy to process mentally what was happening. "I do agree with making it more easy to think about as a test," Burke spoke. "I am not sure there is only one path for us," he spoke back to being his calm self. It was nice to have a conversation with a wolf as intellectual as him. Not just some war machine that only knows how to fight and kill. 

"I think we have several paths. I am sorry to be blunt but I think your bother chose the wrong one," Burke stated, and glanced at her. "I just hope Meldresi didn't take the wrong one," he whispered. "But maybe your bother was meant to leave, yes. With some wolves you wish they would just die, and they keep on living. I am sure a lot of wolves have that with me," Burke let out with a hint a chuckle. He could be an annoying creep from time to time.

It was good to have this talk with Burke. He was a good listener, but wasn't like the other wolves that would just agree to whatever Ayana said. He dared to give his own opinion, which the female appreciated. But she couldn't hide the fact that she felt sorry for him, although he made such a strong, independent impression, Ayana felt that he was worried and probably sad about Meldresi's absence. "I don't think she'd choose the wrong path. She's really responsible, right? And you two are such a good team.", the female said. Is that jealousy? Are you kidding? Calm down, girl friend, you know how 'love' works. In the end there's always a broken heart ... which would presuppose that you actually have a heart .. so, don't worry. Ayana growled a little. She was annoyed at herself. Doesn't everyone deserve a second chance?

"If ... you did something really bad in your life. And you hated yourself for it. What would you do to convince yourself that you deserve a second chance?", Ayana asked Burke shyly. She was never shy because she didn't care about other wolves, but this was private, it occupied her every day. Ayana was interested to hear what Burke had to say about that. Maybe he had never done something bad, although he was a dark brother.

The female let out a sigh. She looked at the sky, the setting sun created a beautiful veil of reds, oranges and pinks that covered the sky that looked like an ocean of warm colours. Ayana closed her eyes for a moment and imagined how her life would be if everything was alright. If she had nothing to worry about. If Burke was happy and Lusa was her friend and the pack was a huge family that loved each other and Ayana had someone by her side that loved her just the way she was. Did she deserve the perfect life? Her mission was to find that out.

Burke thought that too, but maybe Ayana was right. Maybe Meldresi's life was done. She had learned him how to love and then it was her time to go. But Burke was certain she wouldn't leave him, AND Black Feather. She loved this place. Burke slowly nodded. He trusted his mate completely, if she had to do something for herself then so be it. He knew that in the end they would up stronger. "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger," Burke spoke and then glanced at the blonde, with a hint of a smile. "I'm not dead yet, so whatever happens I will learn from it. Maybe all of this is to learn me some patience," he then spoke with the hint of a chuckle. 

Burke looked surprised at the question she asked so carefully. The alpha male studied her. Did she know about his past or was she talking about herself? Burke decided the latter. "You make your own luck, Ayana. If you wallow inside of yourself because of something you did in the past, then no, you don't deserve a second chance because you are not ready mentally. Once you just start living your life, accept what you did and make yourself a better wolf compared to what you did then I see no reason for you not to have a second chance," Burke explained. If the female knew about his path she would probably disgusted. Burke wasn't very proud of it himself, but, he had bettered himself. The only thing that was still haunting from that past life was his this ... Sebastian.

Seb <3 lmao!

Ayana looked down onto her paws. She appreciated Burke's words, although they didn't help her a lot. She wasn't able to stop thinking about what had happened, so apparently she wasn't ready for a second chance yet. Ayana hoped that something in her life will make her be able to move on. She genuinely hoped that. "Thank you, Burke. You really deserve to call yourself a counselor, you're great at that. I'm sure that everything will turn out just fine."

The sun was now fully set, the last bit of red and orange light disappeared slowly, it was like the trees faded into the darkness and the sun kissed them good night. Ayana took a deep breath. The air was colder now that the sun was gone and Blackfeather really seemed black now. It was dark, but Ayana wasn't bothered by that. The first starts were visible at the night sky and the wolf let her thoughts wander around. She enjoyed Burke's company, which was rather surprising. Usually she preferred being alone but the talk she had with the alpha went so well that she forgot about her 'social anxiety'. "Blackfeather is beautiful, if you give it a chance. I didn't realize that until now.I was kind of worried whether I really fit in, you know?", Ayana said, looking at Burke.

After a while of relaxing, she decided to get up and stretch. All in all it had been a good day and Ayana was looking forward to see what tomorrow would bring for her. "I guess I should leave and look after Lusa a little. Maybe she needs some help with the pups - if Grim will let me." Ayana smiled a little. She hoped that Burke would give her some company on the way to the infirmary but she wouldn't mind either if he decided to stay and think about what to do for a while. The place seemed like the perfect place to think about life.

Bahaha. :D Last post from me! This thread was amazeballs!! Thank you! I will archive this thread after your post!

Burke had to laugh a bit of her thank you. "Well, I just realised how how smart and amazing I was, so yeah I decided to just share my awesomeness," he spoke with a grin on his face. He could be surprisingly handsome if he smiled. Slowly he grew more serious. "Nah, I need to thank you for bringing some peace of my own mind. So Thank you, Ayana. I don't say that often. But you deserved this one, because I was smiling just now," he stated and dipped his head. Burke wasn't really a bad guy. He could be very civil if he wanted to be. 

Burke watched as the darkness surrounded them, he was in his element. He liked the night. His pale eyes fell on the blonde girl. "It is, It is," he spoke. "We aren't that bad, are we?," he then joked a bit. Because most of the new members were a bit hesitant and scared of the dark pack. Burke didn't blame them, that was their goal. But in the end they really were a pack and a family. They were there for each other, even for the difficult cases. "I'm glad you feel more at home," he nodded then. Burke liked to have his members feel comfortable around him. 

Burke got to his feet too and shook himself out. "Yes, that sounds like a good plan. Grimnir accepts you more than me, I believe," Burke snorted. He saw Burke as a rival even though the alpha try to help often. With Ayana was a female, so not a competition for the violent male. "I will see you around," he spoke, dismissing her in a friendly matter. He needed to pee anyways, and it would be perfect to make the borders with it. 

- Burke Exits -

Yes, I loved it x

Ayana smiled and watched Burke leave. The dark King disappeared in the darkness of the wods, in which he blended in perfectly. He was definitely meant to be in Blackfeather. It was obvious.
Ayana smiled again softly. She decided to look at the stars for a moment, they were beautiful tonight and it really fitted to the conversation she just had. It was a rather warm summer night and for a second she forgot about the storm that destroyed mst of Blackfeather a few days ago. Everything seemed so peaceful. Even her mind seemed to have calmed down for a while, maybe just because she was exhausted, but probably also because she knew now that all she could do was wait for the right moment. She knew that at some point in her life she would get over her past and start a new life. Maybe not in Blackfeather, maybe with a mate, maybe on her own. Who knew that? She just wanted to be happy one day, which didn't sound like something she would say, but it was the truth.

After a while the golden female trotted back to the others, which still lived near the infirmary. Ayana was glad to see Lusa, however the female didn't seem very happy. But that was fine for now. Ayana was there to help and with her mind as calm as it was now, she knew that she could support Lusa quite well, if Grimnir would let her. If not, maybe she could have a talk to him and ask him about his problems with her, which she did not really understand. She liked Grimnir in a way, it was like he knew about her dark side, maybe because he had a dark secret, too. Ayana smiled. Although she never wanted to feel at home ever again, she kind of liked the idea of a new family that cared about each other and was ready to fight if there was a threat.

Enough worrying, girl friend. You need to rest now. Your conversation was successful and although you don't deserve it yet, you did a good job at acting out your little role. Well done. I am kind of proud of you, although you know you hate yourself. Good night, Ayana. There is a lot more to come.