Blackfeather Woods Redemption

@Burke!
Leaving things with Hecate vague since that thread isn't done...

Regardless of whatever happened with the female, Damien had a lot to talk about with his step-dad. He didn't know that Burke had a few secrets of his own to tell, but the young male was eager to tell his father about his journey. There hadn't been much action to be honest, but all the time he'd had to think about everything in a different environment had allowed him to have a different perspective, and it had been therapeutic.

Walking away from the borders and deeper into the darkness of Blackfeather, Damien bumped shoulders with his huge father as a greeting. The yearling was in an uncharacteristically good moo after his journey but he couldn't explain why... Perhaps Burke could decipher the mystery.

Burke smiled at Damien bumped against him. The male seemed in a better mood than Burke possibly ever seen him. The large male watched Damien and greeted him back. "Good to have you back," Burke let out with a smile. He was probably going to sour Damien's mood but at least he would tell him face to face and he wouldn't find out later. Burke decided to first ask about Damien's trip. "How was your trip?," he asked curiously. "You look... better?," he offered to his son. Burke was glad for him that he was feeling better. He liked to see Damien like this instead of being all scowling and annoyed.

It was unnatural for Damien to be in such a good mood, but the situation for him was way better that day. Of course, that would probably change when the time to confront Cicero came, or when he realized that he needed to earn his top rank back, but for now there were only positive thoughts flowing in and out of him.

"It's good to be back..." Damien replied, "I never really enjoyed leaving this place, I feel this is where I belong." he confessed, swaying his tail proudly. "I had a lot of time to think... I think I can see things more clearly now..."

Burke watched Damien, being such a stranger to him with all his happiness. Did he get laid? Because it almost looked like he did. The alpha male nodded. "I am glad that this is your home, you are more than welcome to return to our ranks," he spoke with a smile on his lips. Burke was always more smiles with his kids around, well except for Sebastian since he didn't fully trust him yet. "Good, so that means you are ready to take on a new mission for me, perhaps? It is inside of the pack, and I am not sure if you are going to like it," he spoke, his pale eyes on Damien.

Getting laid? Well, it would make sense for a teenager to leave home in search for booty, right? But Damien was different. So far he hadn't yet picked interest in sex aside from that little moment he'd had with Cicero, but that whole topic was not something he wished to discuss with Burke... Thank god he didn't speak his mind.

"Thanks..." said Damien at the invitation to reintroduce himself to the ranks. And then when the proposal of a new mission came up, Damien's ears perked up, and his eyes scanned Burke's gestures with interest. "Absolutely," he said. Tenet III. Never disobey or refuse to carry out an order from a superior. To do so is to invoke the Wrath of Sithis. Damien was loyal to the brotherhood even if he wasn't yet a marked one, an breaking its rules was simply not an option.

Burke let out a long sigh when Damien agreed. It was only in the right fashion for him to do so. "You can say no," he added, just so Damien would know that he would be pressured to do this. Burke was curious what he was going to say. "Well, Sebastian came to our borders while you were away. We had a good talk, surprisingly. He did something I could not achieve, and in exchange for what he did I decided to accept him amongst our ranks. I thought maybe you could keep an eye on him to see if his intentions are true. It would be a good test for you if you can read others well," he spoke. 

Burke inhaled softly, not done yet with speaking. "I also want to give you this mission especially because you are my son and I trust you and your judgement completely," Burke spoke to Damien looking into this eyes. Burke was very serious about this. He wanted Damien to prove himself and that he could put his resentment aside to see a wolf for what he or she truly was instead of prejudiced assumptions. Technically Burke was trying to learn Damien what Sebastian never learned.

Damien's jaw would have dropped to the floor if it was possible when Burke explained himself. But instead his eyes said it all, confused and taken aback. He wasn't expecting to even hear about Sebastian, Burke's bitter son, after their own encounter long ago at the borders of Blackfeather Woods, and now he wasn't only back again, but he was also in the pack. How did that happen?

"Wait, Sebastian?" asked Damien baffled, "You mean your son, Sebastian?" he tried to confirm. "How did that even happen?" Damien would have thought that Burke had left his past behind a long time ago, but he didn't realize what his life was like before he joined Blackfeather Woods. He simply couldn't judge the male for trying to connect with his own son. He didn't have to like it either, of course...

Burke told Damien he was giving him this mission because he was his son, which gave him an unnecessary, but highly effective shot of pride. He knew Burke had never really acknowledged any of his biological children before the twins, but Damien and the Spiderlings had been the first bunch he'd taken under his wing willingly. That had to account for something.

Burke let out a along sigh. He had even be surprised how it happened, well he had offered it with reason of course. "Yes that Sebastian," he spoke darkly and watched Damien's shocked face. He wasn't sure if Damien was shocked in a bad way or in a way he could still deal with this type of information. "I did make a mistake in the past. Even though I don't like to admit it. He killed the one I hated so I decided to give him a chance," he explained to Damien. His pale looking at the dark colored young adult before him. Burke himself was quite calm, he could always kick out Sebastian if he wasn't acting accordingly. He wanted to see good activity from the male and having Damien watch him it might be easier to determine if his motives are true. 

Burke raised his chin a bit. "Can I count on you?," he asked. Burke did realize that he might fathered quite a lot of pups over the years he was very active. Add his adoptive children Burke had quite the army. He had been thinking and if he could gain the loyalty of most of them then he would have quite some assets that might be willing to spy for him, his plan to have a spy in each pack was still quite interesting to him.

Burke explained his reasons and Damien noticed just how much trouble it was for his father to deal with the information himself. Damien couldn't simply refuse to carry out the mission because, first he was a dark brother, and a superior, and second, if there was someone who had to make sure it was safe to keep the bastard around it would have to be Damien.

Burke had done a lot for Damien's family and for Blackfeather Woods so he owed the male a lot. If anyone asked for his opinion, the dark yearling would say he did feel like he was Burke's true son, no matter the truth. He didn't care about Sebastian or if he was Burke's true blood, but if the Alpha asked Damien to carry out this task it had to mean something.

"Of course," Damien replied with a slight nod, but feeling that there was no need to keep talking about the other son, he thought it was the right time to discuss his own matters. His body language changed completely in that moment. His ears fell back and his eyes got distracted for a moment as Damien organized his thoughts.

"Burke... Do you think I should... Find a mate?" asked the yearling with hesitant words. Part of what had been eating Damien's little remaining sanity was the confusing deal with Cicero, and the thoughts that it brought along about him feeling responsible for passing on the family name, and it was seriously troubling him. Damien had never really had any thoughts about that matter before his close encounter with Cicero, but now it was like everything revolved around the topic. More than guilty, Damien felt confused about the things he was feeling about Cicero, and adding the fact that he had never had any real education about sexuality, and that his model of a couple had always been contradicting (thanks to Meldresi's aloof concept of mateship and her history with Bane), Damien didn't really know what to do with himself.

Burke watched Damien with a new found respect. He had always been supportive of Damien, respected him in a way, but now the dynamic changed. In Burke's eyes Damien had been less of a child and more an adult. Burke liked that he was seeing this Damien. The large male nodded in thank you to Damien with the added respect. Burke knew Damien would see his gratitude. He smiled at Damien, thinking the matter was mostly settled but then Damien changed, and had a new question for him. Burke as a therapist, and one with a life's knowledge could definitely answer that question for him.

"I do not think you need to find a mate," he spoke without any sense of hesitation. "I didn't believe in love or mateship before I mated with your mother. Frankly I didn't care enough to have someone close nor did I feel the need to," he explained. Burke's 'no need' was more because he would get his pleasure from somewhere else and was satisfied with that, not in the way that Damien was probably feeling. Alas Burke didn't know about the whole ordeal with Cicero and other private matters. "Your mother and I mated because it felt right. We balanced each other out and there was mutual respect and admiration for one another. It made sense to be together and grow old," he explained. "Who or What makes you think you would need to find a mate? If you want one I am not stopping you but if you don't want one then don't take. Take it from me, it will only create more drama," Burke explained to him. "Do you want to talk about? You can, I am probably the last person to judge you for anything."

Burke gave Damien his own point of view about the matter, which in a way made the yearling feel a little bit more comfortable with the idea of not really wanting to get involved with anyone yet. But the thought of Cicero was still lingering around his head, twisting every other idea in his mind.

Damien was not a romantic wolf at all, or at least he hadn't shown any signs of it to this point, but he was like any other feeling wolf and he longed for company. Damien was simply a lone soul, who had been abandoned many times before and who had suffered great loss in a very short amount of time. It was hard for Damien to express and accept his emotions because, like everyone around him, he believed that feelings were a weakness he had to suppress. He'd gotten that from his cold-hearted father, and it had been shaped and enforced by Meldresi's distant company during his childhood.

'What makes you think you would need to find a mate?' asked Burke, and Damien's eyes immediately shifted away. To answer that question, Damien would have to confess something he hadn't even admitted to himself. Damien still didn't have enough confidence in Burke to discuss such deep dilemmas, even if the male claimed he would be the last person to judge him.

"Have you ever fucked a male, Burke?" asked Damien without prevarication, looking into Burke's eyes respectfully, but curiously. Sex was something in which Damien saw little boundaries even if he wasn't at all experienced. Mephala herself, which Damien worships as core of his culture, is the goddess of sex, among other spheres. Damien wanted to know what the male thought about the matter first, knowing that he hadn't been born into the more carefree aspects of Damien's way of life, and that others could see homosexuality as a sin for some strange reason to him. It would be one step further towards discussing the deal with Cicero, from which Damien didn't see any good results coming.

Lets see how he deals with that xD

OMG. Haha. Damn Am I going to say he fucked Akela or not.. Hmmm >D Also you might want to mark this as Mature or at least put a warning above your post!

Burke was expecting a long elaborate answer from Damien but that wasn't even close to what the male had almost spat out. Burke needed to adjust some gears to even reply to this. He went from a more romantic mate like setting to actual male's fucking each other. Burke had to admit that Akela and him had been pretty close during that one winter. They had been good friend to say the least. They were close, he could not deny that. But if that one faithful day hadn't separated them it might have happened. Burke looked at Damien with a bit of the grin he mostly shown to his good friend Akela, who had vanished. Burke couldn't blame him, he was a free spirit.

"I was close to fucking one once," he pointed out to Damien. Burke slowly turned his grin into a more serious expression. "Damien, would not judge you on your sexual preference. You might have missed this but I also approved Venus and Cyn as mates,' he explained, wanting to point out that he was approving of same sex mateships. "If you prefer a male body over that of a female or ... I don't know.. have a sexual preference for birds! Then you do you. As long as you are happy with yourself." It might sound cheesy especially with the Dark King saying it but if his wolves weren't happy they weren't willing or motivated to work. They might not even have ambitions, he knew this as a therapist seeing that he talked to Cyn and the voice in her head. She had not grown as Nemesis had, while they joined around the same time. Thus Burke could conclude that if one wasn't happy they were inclined to work less. This had been a main reason for Burke to approve the mateship. Plus their goddess would of course approve of all the sex going on in the first place.

Definitely slapping the mature tag :P

Damien had indeed missed the news about Cyn and Venus' mateship while he was away, and actually not really caring about it when he was around; but what truly picked Damien's interest from Burke's response was the revelation that he had been close to fucking a male once. Damien's eyes picked up Burke's glare, and noticed a faint hint of sorrow as the Alpha turned more serious. It didn't take long for Damien to come to the conclusion that it had been Akela with whom Burke had almost got it on. It would explain the way Akela had escalated the ranks of Blackfeather Woods so quickly and even become a leader without any other apparent reason than that Burke really liked him... But Damien still knew very little about Burke's past, and the mysterious male lover could be virtually any wolf.

Burke remarked that it would be okay for Damien to have any sort of possible sexual interest while he was happy with himself, reinforcing Damien's trust in him. But Damien still had a moral dilemma about his deal with Cicero. The thought made his whole expression change, his ears flattened on his head and his eyes shifted away from Burke and down to the floor.

"I just... I don't want to be alone..." Damien admitted with troubled voice, feeling unbearably weak by saying it.

Burke stayed calm throughout the conversation, hence for him feeling sad that Akela had been gone. The dark male listened to Damien. Out of all the things that could have been replied to what he told the young boy this was what he returned. He didn't want to be alone. Maybe there was something related to his mother there with this fear of him being alone in the end. She had left so abruptly. "You are not completely alone. I know your mother and your sister have left but you have me and your little brother and sister. They need their big brother too. And not to forget Cicero will always be by your side," he spoke, unaware that he was not helping at all.

"Those might not be romantic loves, but their love for you runs in their blood. We are your family. So you will never be alone, truly. That doesn't meant that you might find someone later that has that same love for you. A romantic love. Like I said before I didn't find that type of love until I was 5 years old. Until then you can have lovers to satisfy any sexual need." For Burke it was quite simple like that but he didn't know that it was far more complicated for Damien. He would only know if the boy would tell him.

Edit; I just realized this was my 1000th post with Burke! :O :O

omg I'm honored :P
Congrats Mar! You're a crazy writer, did you know that?

Burke's deep voice acted like a cloak every time Damien said one of those things that made him feel so weak, soothing the pain, and making Damien gain more confidence on the counselor that was his father. The yearling looked up, trying to find Burke's eyes in an attempt to look through and confirm his thoughts. He could tell Burke anything at this point.

Having lovers just for the pleasure of sex was never something Damien doubted he could have, though so far he hadn't feel the need, or enough curiosity to even try it out. Not until Cicero did. "And what about... A brother?" asked Damien hesitantly... He didn't clarify which kind of Brother, but the message had been implicitly revealed.

Burke looked at Damien, watching his words take effect. He wasn't sure what to expect from his question. He linked brother to family and the dark brotherhood. His memory flashed back to Cicero when he was little. Burke had explained love to him but the boy had been only interested if romantic love could be the same as for family. At the time he thought Cicero had a crush on his mother and didn't think much about it but now Damien started about this too. Burke squinted his eyes for a moment, not sure if Damien meant a Dark Brother.

"I keep with my statement as I said before. If this ... 'brother' makes you happy then do as you like," he spoke. Burke wasn't sure what he thought about incest, he wasn't really looking down on it or be into it himself. As long as Damien's love for a brother wasn't him. He was more like his father. He would not be able to return that to Damien. The large male looked at his son. "Is that why you needed to go away? To have a bit of a break from this Brother?," he asked.

Burke repeated himself once again, and stated that he wouldn't mind whether Damien got involved with a "brother" if that's what made him feel alright. It was almost strange to think that someone like Burke would be so understanding of these kind of things, but once again, Damien did not have a lot of restrains and taboos like many did, and incest was pretty much the only thing that made him doubt when it came to sexuality.

The grey Alpha asked Damien if the reason why he had to leave had been the "brother", to which Damien fell silent for a moment. "Maybe it was..." he said, "But I realized there were many other things clouding my mind... I... I miss mother a lot... And Potema," he confessed. This time it felt more natural to do it, and Damien knew that Burke would feel the same way... The loss had been for both of them.

Burke nodded slowly when Damien admitted that it could be the brother that had been causing him to take a break. But then Damien also revealed something else. Burke's face instantly fell into a sad smile. "I miss them too, terribly," he admitted and then let his true sadness show. Burke had lost his mate, and even though Osprey had helped him with dealing with his sadness there was still some of it that came back. He had loved Meldresi and without her here was a strange feeling.

"But luckily we have each other and let us hope that Potema returns soon from her learning experience," he spoke to Damien and looked at him with a bit of a more happy smile. After all Burke had grown quite attached to the spiderlings 1.0.

Things would never be as good as they could. Potema could be home, and Meldresi alive. Hell, Bane could never have abandoned all of them and things would be so much better, but they simply weren't. That was one of those things that Damien learned away from home. No one taught him that, there hadn't been an old wise sensei passing on his millennial knowledge to Damien, he simply realized it. He had to do the most with what he had.

Burke's smile was unexpected, as it was the reaction it brought out of himself. "Me too," said Damien with a heavy heart, and then pressed his face on Burke's chest on an embrace like he'd done countless times with his own mother and said "Thank you, dad," with such sincerity and love that suddenly everything felt far less stressful. There was a guy Damien could always trust.

Burke leaned against him when Damien pressed his face against his fur. He wanted to give him the feeling that he was returning the gesture. "Any time, Damien, Any time," he spoke slowly. He would always be there for his children, his brotherhood children. Burke realized that the mother of the pups was just as important. It was not only the father would would give genes to their young but also mothers. Seeing that Sebastian and Damien were half brothers and they were nothing alike only proved that. Burke preferred Meldresi's children.

He had the feeling this bonding moment with Damien was a turning point in a good way. The therapist was please about this. Plus he got feedback that giving Damien a break had been a good decision. Burke was slowly becoming more of a counselor each day, and maybe more of a dad too.

-fade end-

So beautiful! <3