Two Rivers Isle Hide away

@Malice

Burke walked through the field that was filled with flowers, he was certain that one medic would go crazy seeing all these herbs and plants--- It reminded him of Kendra. She would have liked it here, and he had left her. He doubted that she had taken that well. Or maybe she had, maybe she was not as attached to him as he thought she was.

Burke reached the top of the field, ending in a big hill with a good view. He sat down, it was not only Kendra he left behind. He left many children behind. He wondered how many kids he had actually fathered in his six years of life. Six years, in autumn he was going to be seven. He was becoming an old man. His prime was over.

The male didn't feel like his prime was over. He was not done yet with making his mark, doing his own thing. He doubted that he was ever going to stop. He looked out over the landscape, over the rivers. He realized how quickly he had detached himself from the Black Feather Woods wolves after they betrayed him. He thought he was attached to him, in a way he was, because the betrayal hurt, yet now, weeks later, the pain was numbing down. It came down to him. And him only. How could he ever allow himself to get attached again. It was no secret how Malice behaved around him that she was very fond of him, yet how could he ever return that fondness?

It was a month after the birth of her little troublemakers, and perhaps life really couldn't get better. They had a beautiful piece of land, a family that protected each other and loyal subjects to share their knowledge with. Still, there was something missing in her almost fantasy-like way of living. It was not a big problem, but still a problem that kept her awake at night, cuddled against the man she had fallen in love with. By now she could openly admit it, she was not ashamed of having these feelings for the older man. But what Burke truly thought of her remained a secret. It was mind-boggling how they interacted with each other. What if he was only staying around because he felt responsible for their kids and had not other place to go? She did not like to think it, but sometimes the dark woman could think for hours about this.

Luckily it was a breathtaking summer day, so what better way to get your head out of the clouds than to make a small trip? Pyro and Vassago could stay with Aeronwyn, the little things. Well, they weren't really the potatoes they first were anymore- that was for sure. She blinked at Vassago and Pyro , lifting her body up to leave the den. She was pretty sure the adventurous little pups would want to follow her. Stay here, little ones, let me see what is keeping your dad up. She mumbled to herself more than the pups, for she knew they wouldn't understand a word. She barked for their aunt, Aeronwyn, to keep them under control.

It did not take long for her to scent the gray male, and a satisfied smile made her scarred face a whole lot prettier. She quickened her pace, that had gotten quicker as a whole since she could finally move freely again, and soon she spotted him- her man. Well, not hers, but it was pretty damn close to it. A smirk now painted her feminine yet rough face, and she kept down-wind, planning a surprise attack. She sneaked around for a bit, then made her way up, the blooming flowers tickling her nose.

She sat down, about to sneeze, and soon a soft-pretty cute- sneeze left the woman's snout. Well, so far for her surprise attack.

Burke was sunken in thought, wondering where it had gone all wrong. He was raised well, the right way. Though it was probably the influences of his brother that had killed him, made him the way he was today. His deceiving nature, and his want for power. Part of it was his own fault not wanting to submit to his older brother. He looked in the distance but he wasn't really looking.

What he had done to those females had never bothered him, he was not connected to them. With Meldresi he thought he had found love, and even within her kids. But one betrayal and he had closed himself off again, left them, like he had done before. He thought he would have learned by now. He was a counselor himself, a therapist, and yet he couldn't give himself any advise on---- His head snapped around when he heard a sneeze. He let out a growl for the wolf who dared to sneak up on him. His angry pale eyes fell on Malice, crouched down. His ears fell back, looking at her with a scowl. One she probably didn't deserve...

Just the fact that she would sneak up on him was not very wanted by the male. If he would have actually been startled it might have made matters worse. His more playful and relaxed nature he had the first week or so had vanished more and replaced with a distant and brooding Burke. The bear attack hadn't helped with that. He clearly wasn't even able to protect his family. Mostly it was just Burke very secretly doubting himself, doubting and not understanding how Malice could love him. What she saw in him. He left others. He didn't do relationships well. He just doubted if he could even return to Malice what she was giving him.

Had she ever shared with Burke what had went on before her time in Teekon? She vaguely remembered him saying a backstory wasn't needed, but had she said something in between of her grim past? She honestly didn't remember. She had told his son, Sebastian, about it all-a wolf she would still like to meet again some time to see how it worked out in his pack-, but Burke? Should she even tell? 

The growl the man let out startled the dark female more than whatever she had planned on doing to him, and she stumbled backwards a bit. She soon remembered this was Burke, and she should not be afraid of the father of their little boys. Her ears perked up, and she made a frowny face-one with a pout and all. She refrained from growling back, she only wanted to let him know that she did not appreciate being treated this way. For a moment she considered walking down the hill then and there to leave him to let Burke figure his shit out himself, but she had promised herself that she would be the one to help him if he ever needed it.

What's bothering you? She asked blunt, straitening herself and sitting up the formal way she always sat. Her slightly angered face turned softer, her smile a compassionate one. She wanted to help, if she could, if he would let her, but without even knowing what was bothering the old soul there was little to help.

Burke didn't soften his glare much as her look told him enough. She did not like him acting this way, which he could understand. The male snapped his head away from her, scowling himself. Because he always had trouble to talk, to tell someone what he was feeling. Often he would just figure it out himself. How was he even going to tell to the wolf that he thought he was not good enough for, that he was not enough in his eyes. She would probably disagree, yet that still didn't made him understand why she loved him. He was old and grumpy, yet she was here again....

Burke let out a long sigh. "I'm broken," he spoke with a growl, as he was agitated by it. He kind of was. He didn't want to be broken or be like this. His face was still in a scowl. They briefly darted to the side, to her, and then away again. "You shouldn't love me," he returned, ears flattened on his skull, yet not out of aggression, more in bitterness. "You can't love me," he corrected then. He almost didn't want her to love him, it was easier to see himself the way he saw now. But if there was Malice who stayed by his side, and loved him devotedly then what did that make of him?

Malice was determined to find out what was bothering the being she loved, whether the words and the facts would hurt her or not. Never had she sat down and thought about why she loved him, never did she felt the need to, for love didn't need an explanation. It just pops up, perhaps like a cold, though a cold would be easier to deal with and would go over. On second thought, it wasn't like a cold at all to her. Perhaps more of a permanent sickness that made her feel so conflicted and yet so good at the same time. She let out a long sigh. Her eyes did not rest upon the mix of grays that were weaved into Burke's fur, instead resting upon a small flower near her paws.

Broken things can still be beautiful. Perhaps they are a bit of a mess now, but once they could've been the most amazing pieces of art. That beauty still remains- I can see that in you. She let out softly, moving the flower around with her paw carefully. Only when the last sentence left Burke's mouth did she look up. She couldn't? Why not? Was it the thoughts of this Meldresi that still roamed around in his mind? Or was it just because he did not want to be loved? Well, fuck the rules.

Too bad. She spoke. I already do. Love is mysterious, you can't just stop it whenever you want to. She almost began to rant, but then a dark thought popped up in her mind. What if he simply felt bad because he did not love her? You can- however- ignore it so it becomes a scar unseen by the eye... If that is what you mean, then I- She didn't know what to say next. Her selfishness was now battling with the thoughts of just wanting to have Burke happy. In then end, she just wanted him happy- with her or not. But how was she going to say that?

Burke eyed to the side at Malice, her speech about something broken that could still be beautiful wasn't helping. The male let out a bit of a sigh. Malice continued, openly admitting that she loved him. He heard her mutter it but now she said it, full on, out in the open. Burke's face looked a bit pained for a moment, mostly because he didn't know what to do about it. He was old, he didn't want her to go through that heartbreak.

However then she spoke about ignoring it, and that has been something he had done since they traveled away from Black Feather. Malice fell quiet, not sure what to say. The male inhaled sharply. He didn't want to ignore her, because that would make her sad. He didn't want her to be sad. He wanted her to be happy. He couldn't ignore her. So that meant that there was at least some love for her from his side. He was just too hesitant to go for it. Burke realized that his silence wasn't doing anything good.

"No," he grumbled softly. "I just. I am not an easy man to love, Malice. I thought I loved the wolves at Black Feather, and in a way I did, but now after a few weeks, that care is gone. All that love I thought I had for them." With his brother it took way longer than that, so that must have gone deeper. Maybe he was just scared for his own hurt. He looked at her and then looking down shaking his head. He was not sure what he felt for her. He loved Meldresi, but he never got a chance to love her. A month after their mating she had been missing and once she was back it was only her being sick. He never was in a healthy relationship. Maybe Malice could show him that. "I don't want to leave you or ignore you," he spoke then, trying to make up for his hesitation.

How did he even know that it was love. He looked over her face. Young and beautiful. She might not think that with the scare but it didn't matter much to him if she had it or not. She was still pretty to him. He tipped her head. "I'm old. What if I die within a year. You will be sad," he pointed out. His father made a whooping 9 years, at least that is what he heard, so he hoped that he would had that in his genes too.

Never had the woman been good with words. She had only ever been cruel to the beings around her- safe for Avalon-, and even with him she had not talked much. But maybe her upbringings now brought a new light to the world and life itself. She regretted much, too much maybe, and perhaps even loving Burke belonged in that category. But they were heading the right way now, she hoped. Life was beautiful, life had always been beautiful, but only now did she realize that it was duller without the old male around.

I know it is hard to be betrayed, I know how much pain you must be feeling. She sighed. But do you truly see me betraying you like those heathens? You're safe here, with me. She smiled a hopeful smile, a twinkle in her eyes that she thought she had lost. The wolves of blackfeather do not deserve to be the cause of your anger, they did not deserve you as a whole. And perhaps she herself didn't deserve him.

She squinted, and scooted just a little closer to make her words feel more genuine. She smiled. Then we will make it the best year of our life.

Burke turned his muzzle more to her when she scooted closer. She preached that he shouldn't be angry at the Black Feather wolves, but the thing was, he wasn't. He felt more freedom than ever. He was surprised how quickly he had grown numb while thinking of them. Yet the sense of betrayal was still there. Everyone in his life betrayed him, safe for Malice.

"I don't want you to be sad," he spoke to her, which might be the sweetest thing he ever said to her. The way he spoke it so softly it sounded almost like he was breakable. He couldn't promise her he was going to be good at this, and he liked to be good at everything. But in a way it was also a test for the large male, seeing that he would need to learn to fully trust Malice. In a way he did, but there was still the nagging feeling that she would leave him. "Then you can also not leave me when I can't hold my bladder anymore and I start to loose hair and when I can't be your strong macho anymore," he pointed out to her. Because eventually that was probably going to happen.

Perhaps the former bitch of a woman would have exploited the power Burke possessed, but she had learned long ago that there was no victory in strength. Physical strength only mattered in battle, and for now Malice did not want any sort of conflict in the establishing pack nor after they were formed. Sure, she would keep training for when the day would come she would have to fight, and she would even go as far as to teach the children how to defend themselves, but never again would she be the aggressor. Her strength was in her mindset now, and her family carried it with her. 

Her ears lowered themselves and draped against her feminine skull as a cloak would. Never before had she heard genuine words of worry and compassion for her coming from Burke, and it left her with an uneasy yet satisfied feeling. Burke... She sighed, wanting to wolf-hug the living shit out of him, but thought that it wasn't the right moment to do so. As long as I remember you, you will never be truly gone. Why mourn over what had once brought joy? Her eyes drifted up to where Da once said heaven would be. Yes, death hurt. But it was the kind of hurt that could teach and move.

A small giggle came out of the young mother. Even then I would gladly hold you close. Perhaps then I can be your strong defender for once.

Burke sat next to Malice and quirked up his lips a bit, though it fell when Malice spoke. "Because I cannot stop thinking about the fact that if I would fully commit to this that I will get hurt, I always get hurt," he commented. When Meldresi died, or when his son died. Even when they all betrayed him. "I wish I could not think about it and just jump into this. But... I can't," he breathed and looked at her.

He was not a reckless young man anymore. He knew the consequences if he would let himself get dragged away. He knew it was unrealistic to try and stop it, because frankly even he couldn't. Hence why he was now with her and their young and why he had not abandoned her. But he liked to think he could push it away and wait it out some more. If he really looked down into himself, he was just scared. Scared to get hurt again.

Her smile disappeared, now a serious look upon her young face. Everyone gets hurt from time to time, but you shouldn't stop taking risks just because there's a chance you will get hurt again. She said. She herself had had bad experiences with love, and yet here she was. A young mother madly in love with an older man. She sighed. Alright...  She looked away, her head drooping to the ground. 

At least she knew what was bothering him now- sort of. 

I didn't know what else to typ, sorry for the shortness XD

not to worry haha! :P

The male looked at Malice and casted his away the following moment. "But it is more difficult than you think," he admitted to her. Because he had been hurt before, and badly too. The male let out a soft sigh. "I'm sorry Malice," he murmured and then looked at her. He did want to be with her, but he was not sure if he could do it.

His pale eyes stayed on her now. "I do want to be with you and see you happy," he spoke to her, not averting his eyes. He needed her, because with her he could talk. He could tell her what was bothering her. He liked to be close to her. He nudged her. "Please wait on me a bit longer," he spoke and licked her cheek.

Everything is difficult. She eventually sighed after a long pause. She guessed she could understand. Perhaps, because she was younger, she was more comfortable with jumping into things right away. She could imagine her not being this way had she been the same age as Burke. It made sense, yet so little at the same time. It's alright. She spoke softly with a small sincere smile. Her mind soon went back to her pups. Were they missing them already? Of course she wanted Aeronwyn to have her time with the pups, but the new mother was dying to see them grow up into strong adult wolves, to teach them more than how to drink, sleep and waddle around.

Soft yellow met the piercing blue of the ocean that was hidden in Burke's eyes, and if she did not have her dark fur covering her cheeks, he would've seen her blush. He had cooled down, finally, and perhaps now was a good time to come a little closer. And so she did, their haunches almost touching as she plopped herself next to him. I'll wait forever on you, but please; don't actually take forever. She said with grin.

Burke had a hint of a smile of his maw when she scooted closer. He moved his head against hers, inhaling softly. "I don't want to lose you, so that is at least a start," he spoke. If he wanted to do this, fully agree with this. Be her mate. He wanted to set it straight for himself that he could fully trust her. He would allow her to keep him from sinking to deep and drowning, and trust that she would not let him fall.

It was tough to think such things, though on the other hand he wondered how long he still had to live. Still, he was not going to jump into this now. He would do such things on his own terms, he was not someone to jump into things. He would asses the situation and then decide. He licked over her cheek. "I do need a lady to rule by my side if this pack is established, so maybe I will pick you...," he spoke. "Or, you know, Aeronwyn," he teased her with more of a grin now.

She almost closed her eyes in delight as they touched at last. Burke's words seemed to paint a bright smile on her face, one that could very well just be pure happiness. They had it all together, and she hoped Burke would realize that soon. All worries fell from her heavy shoulders when Burke even kissed her on the cheek, and for a moment, she couldn't process his words. Her head soon snapped up though, and she made a little frowny face that was actually pretty adorable.

Don't you dare! She added, not really angry, and she bumped him at his side. The male was so massive though that she doubted he would even move. I am not going to answer to her, and you know it. Her frown turned into a grin and she laughed. It was not the most flattering noise she could make, but perhaps her laugh would be seen as perfect by Burke as she saw Burke as perfect.

Burke grinned at her, though she was grinning too. It was clear she gotten his joke. "I have a tendency to just impregnate females and then abandon them. I mean I even did that with Meldresi," he pointed out, a bit more of a serious tone behind it, yet still joking. Or was it a joke? Because honestly he hadn't been very loyal to any of those females.

So many kids and no one that was close to him except Malice. He let out a softer sigh. "I think I have attachment issues," he then admitted to her, more softly. Why would he otherwise be so hesitant to go into a relationship.

If you do that to me; She spoke in a serious tone. I will find you again. I am not that easy to get rid off. She joked. She had wanted to say something along the lines of killing him or torturing him until he took her as a mate again, but that would've probably scared him off. It was better to make a joke out of the whole situation. Even though Meldresi was dead, Malice felt jealous of the lucky woman who had probably gotten Burke in his prime. Or had that been the mother of Sebastian? Honestly, Malice was confused about his whole family tree. 

Don't you worry, Pyro, Vassago and me will teach you how great it can be to be a part of a real family. She said with a smile. It's not something I have experience with, but it must be rather wonderful. She said dreamily. Only the Moonlit wolves had served as a family, and even they weren't blood related. Safe for Burke and her two sons, the only family she could think of were her brothers and Avalon, and they were still at Lucifer Peak.

Burke looked at Malice and shook his head. "You are crazy, you know that?," he spoke, though luckily her crazy matched his in a way. They were both broken and both in need of some TLC.

Burke smiled when she made her next comment. "Guess we are both fuck ups," he stated. And there he thought he was being a good father. It took one big thing to have him snap back to his old ways. The male inhaled softly.

"I fear for Pyro and Vassago," he stated, though it was mostly a joke. They had Shink and Aeronwyn now too. Maybe some more if they were accepting enough of them. Maybe they could gather some more followers already.

I prefer positively insane. She almost snorted. It was no secret Malice could be a little crazy from time to time. Hell, she was the one who had the wonderful idea of going with a man she had just met to a dark forest filled with wolves that were known for killing, stealing, betraying... being fat and ugly in Nemesis' case. It was true she made horrible life choices, but it seemed for every downside there was a lesser downside.

We're not fuck ups, we are the underdogs of life. She said as formal as possible to try to keep things serious. She smiled. I feared for them at the Brotherhood, but this seems like the perfect place to grow up. She sighed. I wish I was born here. Perhaps if she'd been raised like a normal kid in a normal environment she would've had a better life. Perhaps her mom would've still be alive... Each day her guilt grew stronger, despite her wanting to ignore the past and focus on her future with Burke. 

Burke grinned at that. "That you are, totally my first impression of you at that lake." Burke remembered how submissive she was to him, how he had called the shots while she had been an alpha too. Yet, with her next words she proved once again why he liked her. She had such a different perspective on the word.

The male quirked up his lips and nodded. "If you say so," he spoke, though in a way he felt like she was right. Because they were kind of underdogs currently. "They will have a good life," he hummed and nodded. "Why don't we go check on our precious kids hmm?," he then spoke, after all they were sitting here while they could be with them. Burke reminded himself that he was in fact going to work on what he was feeling for Malice and ask her himself when the time came.

She smirked, giving Burke a side-eyed look. Right, she must've looked a little crazy there, almost begging for his kids. Never could she forgot that day, nor this one. Who in their right mind would ever willingly go to the Dark Brotherhood pregnant with the alpha? That was just asking for trouble. But maybe Malice liked living that way. It wasn't like it didn't run in her family.

I know so. She said with a sincere smile. The next words made her smile even more. With us as parents; totally. She chipped happily. She then stood up, gave a quick kiss on his cheek and then nodded. She was dying to see them again, even though it hadn't been so since last seeing their little bodies. She started trotting off the hill, almost tripping a few times, but finally making it safely down. The scent of flowers was so strong she sniffed in deeply for a moment.

Burke looked to the side when Malice stumbled down the hill. He almost wanted to comment on it because he didn't think she was the type to stumble. The grey male walked down with her, though the flower field. Which honestly only made him sneeze. The male took the lead automatically and guided them home to their kids. He would try to be right with these kids, they were probably his last anyhow. He was becoming terribly old.