Greatwater Lake the touch is cold

Opalia cannot recount the days.. it's all one terrible, miserable haze since her brother left this earth. She's thought about hurt and sorrow before, grieved, and missed the ones who had gone away from her horribly, even her ill-fated mother, but none compared to this for the pale-furred yearling. This cut deep, and there was no one left right beside her when she needed to pick herself back up again. Dacio, dead, and evidently, Praimfaya had fled when Opalia had not had the strength to go after her immediately.. so she had shut down, at best, and took her own time to come even this far.

The gona had howled her share of sorrows when she finally could finally lift her head enough to say so, ailing from the highest reach of Moonspear she would dare climb to for her lost loved one, and for the warrior she prized above the most--she had sung, of his loss, and his life at once. The gaping wound his absence left was nothing short of a shock to her entire system. She had always had him. Always, until now, he had either faced the world at her side or forged just enough ahead to give her the best route. Always.

But, finally, she had to do something besides ache and fester away herself. A short howl announced her trip past the Spear to look for Praimfaya, and Opalia cut a wandering path into the flatlands beyond. Her hours passed, muscles churning away at a cruising trot, and she only wanted to be so far away from everything that she didn't care right where it took her. At first, she had gone after chasing old trails, but at some point, she feared that she lost clear sight of them, obscured to the elements and muddied by other traffic, most likely.

By now, the daylight hours were waning, and she saw the lake begin to come into view. So long as nothing else stopped her, she trotted towards the shoreline for a drink.

It felt weird to be back. In more ways than one. Even using the word 'back' to describe her re-entry into Teekon was weird...and though not necessarily wrong, was by no means accurate. Saarthal was never a part of any of the packs, had never really felt that she belonged here...but then again, she'd never felt that she belonged anywhere. Even back home, there had always been that strange niggling feeling in the back of her brain, snaking through her veins, crawling down her spine and curling around her heart - a feeling that tugged her away from concrete reality and forced her to linger on the edges, physically present but always faraway, never belonging. With Reyna...the more she thought about it, the more it made sense. Saarth felt like an outsider but Reyna was one and perhaps that was why she'd been attracted to her. Not that it mattered. Not anymore. Standing quietly by the edge of the lake, Saarth gazed blankly at her reflection and at the faint wisp of a scent brought by a soft gust of wind, she tilted her head and watched with an uncharacteristic, contemplative silence as a wolf came into view.

Closer, she went, since it was easy not to think in any great detail when the most basal needs ruled out. But, she didn't get all the way there before she saw the other--just barely over the fog of grief, it was the first glimpse of light, silvery fur that brought her jarringly back to present with eyes wide.

But, another second, and realization set in that this was not the one she sought. Before surprise could take over, she tried to bite it back, and swallow it away to the nothingness she best carry forward with a careful, guarded neutral.

However, Opalia still closed into on the lakeside and found a spot a sort distance from the other, not deterred to see a single wolf at their lonesome--for she had faced greater foes. She didn't lower her head to drink yet however, and pointed a glance at the stranger first. Hei, she called, the greeting slipping effortlessly with a quick nod, and lingering glance full of questions. While not the sterling furs she sought to find in these wilds so soon, it was perhaps not an entire lost cause yet.

A strange feeling washed over Saarthal, chills of some sort prickling the underside of her coat, ants marching a slow crawl down the curve of her neck. The stranger had striking eyes, beautiful and wonderful colours Saarth had never seen before, never in the eyes of another wolf at least. "Hi," she returned the greeting with a cant of her head, the corner of her lip quirked in a lopsided smile. Should I? Should I not? How long has it been..? Saarthal exhaled softly, air slipping out between teeth, let out a huff as an impish glitter returned to her gaze. "You have striking eyes...I've never seen their colour on anyone else."

 

At such a mention of her eyes, she can't help but blink them to the unexpected first turn the unfamiliar wolf gives her. Chof... she begins to thank her in her family's tongue but stops short with a sigh, that she cleared her throat with instead. Neither have I, though.. she confirms, deciding there to straighten her own stance and boldly search the face of the other, right down to her coppery eyes--if they were going to be on those sorts of terms, anyway. She would have it for herself then too, even without being able to be so forward about exactly voicing it.

Who are you? she asked, head tilting back at her though she inched a little closer to the water. After that, she wasn't sure what to expect from her company then. I'm Opalia. It did not feel right to claim any surname right now.

A strange word in a foreign tongue. Saarthal, lover of languages (and now, eternally too lazy to learn any more) had an urge to ask the stranger...but the urge faded as quickly as it came, sinking back into waterlogged depths of her mind. With a quick breath, she shifted her weight between her paws, a wry smile shadowing her lips at the stranger's searching gaze. Cynicism had long swallowed Saarthal's former youthful bashfulness. "Pretty," she offered instead, her smile lopsided, impish, almost coquettish but holding a certain world-weary quality in its lines. The stranger's eyes were indeed pretty though Saar, always a lover and never one to hold back compliments (even in current circumstances) had meant more than that. 
At the stranger's question - strangely probing in tone - Saar blinked, taken almost by surprise. Then, with an amused huff, gentle, perhaps teasing - "Who do you want me to be?" and then quietly, a pause, "I'm Saarthal. Pleasure to meet you, Opalia."

Vain enough to agree, Opalia rumbled a soft note to say she wasn't about to object.. but there were conflicting feelings roiling in the meantime. Who did she want her to be?

Her teeth clenched over the true answer. Emotions wrung out by grief, her frustration follows it, even the reminder of it--and why she's out here at all. The gona takes a deep breath for herself. I don't know, she said, quieter than her last words. Anyone I don't have to lose, she said, cryptic, icier then as well. After watching her brother die slowly for days, and then concluding that Praimfaya might not be coming back on her own accord, Opalia was hurting in strange ways. They were the last, best bonds she had that had traveled with her through time so far.. Eventually she just sighed, then finally lowered her head to drink, ears splaying apologetically before she regrouped, now with water drops on her chin.

Sorry. Saarthal, the yearling sighed because she wanted to test the name on her own tongue, and right herself at once. It has been a long few weeks, she shook her head, then her coat as she pivoted away from the shoreline's most immediate reach. Are you a wanderer? she asked, choosing to run with more curiosity, lest she remember what ailed her.

Saarthal studied Opalia quietly, fiery eyes roaming surprisingly gently over the stranger's features. Obviously, she had no clue as to what Pretty Eyes's predicament was but she could guess...there was something uncanny and uncomfortably familiar about Opalia's expressions that caused her heart to clench. Her mouth felt like sandpaper and all at once, she felt both guilty and...strangely - no, it would not do to dwell long on such emotions and scenarios. 

"It's hard, isn't it?" Saarth said, her smile lined with a melancholy which appeared, to those who knew Saarthal, utterly uncharacteristic. But, things had changed and she knew, more than anyone, how happiness was less than a breath away from sadness. "I've been wandering for a long time," Saar replied, "though not necessarily out of choice."

Unwittingly, she felt her ears press backwards and the nod was not easy to deny. It was hard, and quick for a contender of worst she had ever know. She felt like a whole mess, even if she could use the guise of purpose to help hold it together somewhat--so long as she still had a goal, right? But it wasn't easy and she hurt.

Then, she tipped her head curiously while trying to settle on past herself, and the awful, all-consuming burning in her chest. Saarthal had not faulted her, however, and something unspoken said quite the opposite.. if she was not too presumptuous. Not by choice..? she asked, careful with the inquisitive inflection. She knew it could be for a lot of reasons. After Drageda had relinquished the cliffs and dissolve, she had been in quite the same situation.. even if her and Dacio had each other, at the least. But, of course, everything circled back to him.

I run with Moonspear. But, I'm out.. looking for someone, she added, searching Saarthal's fiery eyes for recognition. Trying to clear my head too.. or get it together, I guess. I worry she might not be coming home on her own but.. I have no idea, she grimaced and shook her head, then stepped away from the waters with a huff; why did she feel the need to be so candid? Having misplaced her wanheda so soon after Dacio's loss had her a right mess. She turned more towards Saarthal. She's light silvers.. with dark marks by her eyes. Younger than me, she added. Names, titles, whatever else--it probably didn't matter much more than that.

Choice. It was an interesting word, a word which called upon flashes of memories which flitted unwittingly across her mind, shaded in melancholic greys and angry reds. A pair of blue eyes, a toothy grin, pain flaring out on her flank, streaks of red, silver and matted brown...high-pitched whining and the biting cut of the northern wind - in any case...it didn't really matter anymore. "No," Saarthal exhaled softly, "no, not by choice but..." she trailed off and smiled wryly, "nevermind, it's not an interesting story." No, not interesting at all.

Opalia offered brief explanations...searching for someone...vague descriptions. Saarthal listened quietly. "I'm really sorry, I haven't seen anyone like that," she said, apologetic. "But, you should-" she stopped, suddenly embarrassed, teeth wearing into her bottom lip, "forgive me if I'm stepping out of line but...you should...allow yourself time to grieve." Hey, good advice Saarthal. Why don't you follow it? Oh, shut up.

She held her tongue, but Saarthal's answer did not make it too easy for Opalia. Posed like that, it probably was more interesting than she gave it credit for, but the yearling didn't have the right mental strength to imagine pressing it now. Instead she just tilted her head, though slowly nodded it away, but would keep the notion, perhaps for later.

But, she was not at all surprised by the rest--that she hadn't seen anyone like that. It's okay.. her trail's scattered already, she admitted. And my search may take me much further yet, I don't know. She left almost a week ahead of me, she then revealed. Even the glimpse into herself, she just fielded it--maybe something about it being from a stranger made it easier. She thought she had tried to do that.. and why the wanheda had such a head-start on her in the first place--which she hated, she should've been more vigilant, but her devotion to Dacio had outweighed everything in his bitter end.

Opalia was quiet a long moment, then sighed. There was defeat over her head. I tried, already. But it wasn't enough. Could it ever be? At least I thought. But I don't want to rot away, too.. she spoke lowly, a tired seethe over the notion where the embers remained lit, deep down. I have to keep going, metaphorically, and physically, both.

"Yeah," Saarthal said, feeling a familiar sense of discomfort curling around her nape. Swallowing thickly, she approached the lakeside and slowly lapped at the water. Saarth was not normally so...awkward? was that the right word? she wasn't quite sure, but, well, not that it mattered much. Anyway, she usually had the situation under control, weaving a narrative in her head and performing whatever role she'd assigned herself but recently...it had gotten harder, stranger. Everything was difficult and weird and painful. Not that there was any reason why. 

"It's really hard," Saarth exhaled and threw an impish smile in Opalia's direction, licking the remaining water droplets off her lips as she took a step back, "hurts like a fucking bitch, doesn't it? Whether you stop or keep going." It'll catch up she wanted to say. She wanted to say that it would follow you around like a shadow, clinging at your ankles. That it'd strike your heart, wounding around your body and swallowing your words at the most unexpected of times, leaving you crippled and empty and wanting and alone. But recently, Saar felt that the effort to simply move her tongue had reached some monumental level and she simply had no energy to put in said effort. So she kept her words to herself, locking away whispers and a flash of blue eyes.

The pale yearling wore her ears back a bit longer, listening, and found a small hint of a dark grin that was still laced in all of her sorrow. It does hurt. Worse than any fight I've seen, so far.. she sighed, and Drageda had raised her to be tough in the face of all opposition--everything that this absence topped, easily, and how were her days meant to go from here? Suddenly, her sights went hazy in regards to what she had once known so undoubtedly. To have first lost Drageda, then have Roangeda not find its feet, then... this?

It occurred to her to wonder why she had come to find Saarthal, and her unique sort of unspoken understanding, here today of all times there could ever be.. but that led her into question after question from there. Anyway, she said, and shook out her coat, physically trying to put herself all the way back together somehow, or simply let go of the weight entirely--she wasn't sure which to pursue more, but, it was something. Are you going anywhere? Or.. planning to? she asked carefully, having squared her paws and aimed an easier look at her companion, trying not to be so damn... sad, frustrated, and utterly lost--if only for a moment while she might have any semblance of a chance, and all before she could feel guilty about any kind of distraction again.

The last few months hadn't been easy on Saarthal...actually, nothing had been easy on Saarth since...ugh better not to think about it. The world seemed a dreary mess, all overcast skies and murky white fog clogging up and clouding up the entire atmosphere. Fresh air had never felt so stuffy. If Saarthal didn't know better, she would have thought the world was suffocating her, squeezing its meaty hands around your wimpy neck and choking the life out of her eyes. Which...wasn't an entirely bad thought, she supposed.

"No," Saarth replied, blinking and turning to look at Opalia with a soft smile, light laugh lines carving their way through her face. "Haven't really got anywhere to be...or to go," and then, still curious - though with a new, weary sense of caution - "why?"

Opalia was grappling with finding her new sense of self, and knowing that she had lost what she had, with the wound still so fresh, it left her in an odd place mentally--she was keenly aware as she vacillated from this to that, unsettled and full of struggle. But, something about Saarthal's countenance led her to believe she might have found some similarities, enough to feel a kindred--or, at least the want of an.. acquaintance? A friend? Just wondering, she replied, quietly enough but with conviction still on her words.

If you do run into anyone who.. might match that description, can you tell them I'm searching? I will go over the mountains, I think, since I know she was born somewhere over there and maybe something compelled her back.. but it's just a guess. Eventually, I'll be back at Moonspear, she gestured towards the spire to the west, notable in its heights and easy to find. But after that, I don't know. It's one step at a time. In a picture perfect future, she would find Praimfaya and together, they might have something to go on from there and her search wouldn't need to drag on. But if that didn't work out, Opalia did not know what would be her next course of action. She couldn't let herself rot watching Dacio's grave become one with the earth.

And if you ever want any company on the road, I have nothing left to lose, she said, offering up a quick, thin smile of her own for her darkened humor.

A soft glimmer flitted gently through Saarthal's eyes as she regarded Opalia with a tilt of her head. It had been a long time since she felt a similar urge and although the feeling was warm and not entirely unwelcome, Saar knew that acting on such emotions was not entirely appropriate for their current interaction. "I will," Saar said, lips quirked in a lopsided smile. It was a promise of sorts, she supposed, but it hardly mattered - Saar doubted she would meet anyone of that description. She would not be travelling for much longer if things went to plan. Well, in this case, they had to go to plan eventually. She would not be taking no for an answer.

Withholding an unwelcome remark like oh just you wait, you will always have more to lose which Saarthal might've said when she was younger and just beginning to enter...well, whatever she was in now, Saar simply offered a half-smile and a nod of her head. "I'll be around if you ever need someone," she said, "probably somewhere in the mountains. But, I won't be hard to find." Not a promise. But she probably wouldn't be. For once, she wasn't planning on going anywhere.

Right now, so freshly in her state of nothing but loss, this was all she could muster, it seemed. Inwardly peeved by how fragile her grasp on it felt, but still aching, she was navigating these uncertainties for all she was worth. Thank you, she replied sincerely after a lingering moment of thought; that didn't feel like enough, though that was becoming a common feeling for her. Maybe it was high time she learn to cope with it, among so many others matters.

She took the words to heart, though, and would keep them for later. Good--I think I'd like to cross paths again one day. On better terms.. with myself, I swear it isn't always like this, she tried again for a grin as she shook her head, one that felt lacking compared to Saarthal's (in so many ways!). Thanks again, and maybe, I will see you later, she said before a last chuff of goodbye for now, and the golden yearling was on her way to continue her search beyond.