Otter Creek Put on my thinking cap

Backdated 5 days ago

She'd walked from Easthollow for a while and found the creek, sitting down and watching weird small brown creatures swimmimg around the waters. She perked her ears and slowly waded into the water, eyeing them curiously. One of them dove beneath the surface and she looked for it to resurface before suddenly she was attacked from her belly. She yelped and jumped, spinning around in the water to see the small brown thing floating away from her on its back. She growled and snapped at it, watching as it shrieked and swam away.

It has been a few days now since Cebra had taken her trip outside of Easthollow. He assumed she had gone off to collect herself after recent events, something Howl thought he could benefit from himself if he had the time. But he wanted to see her. One was simply because he missed her. They hadn't had much time to spend together. Even though their bond had grown significantly since that night in the stone circle their relationship was still new. Mainly in the aspect that they had to keep it quite from the rest of the pack. But the main reason he needed to talk to her was to tell her about Brynn and Cin. He had wanted to wait till she got back, but he wasn't expecting her to be gone this long, and it would be best to get it into the air now away from the territory rather than within it.

He was trying to follow her scent. He knew it very well now but a few days of weather had softened its aroma. He thought he might be getting close when he heard the thrashing noise of water followed by a growl from a wolf. Confused as to what it might be he sought it out, to find Cebra defensively growling at a stream. He was too late to see the creature that had caused her her distress, so he was quite puzzled when he came about the scene. "What's all the fuss about?" he asked gingerly with a smile.

The annoying little brown things seemed to get the point that she would literally eat them if given the chance and backed off leaving her to just stand there bristling at the water. She thanked the stars that nobody had been around to see tha- "Oh shit!" she cursed and whirled around, startled. Her heart dropped and raced simultaneously at the sight of Howl and she stepped forward, almost rushing to greet him before she stopped completely and her face fell.

She had left to avoid this, to work out her emotions while resisting temptation in the form of a very handsome, very kind man. Now she was face to face with him and she flattened her ears back "Small brown water prey. They bit my belly" she explained in a soft voice. She sighed and climbed from the stream, standing next to him and resisting the urge to lean in and kiss his cheek. "We have to talk Howl. Something's happened" she said and sat down on her haunches.

She turned around quickly shock to see him standing there behind her. He smiled slightly, humored to see her slightly spooked by something so little.  "Sorry. Didn't mean to startle you." he said softly. She began to walk towards him, but then seemly slowed down a bit. Howl wasn't quite sure why but didn't think about it too much. He had other things on his mind that was taking president.

She moved her ears back when she mentioned "small brown prey" getting a bite out of her belly. He would have commented on this wondering if it was an otter, beaver or something else, but before he could she stated that they needed to talk.

Howl's instant thought was that she knew. That he hadn't gotten to her in time and now she knew about the other two women he was fond of. He didn't want her to have to say it. He wanted her to hear what he had to say before expressing her own feelings about it. "I know... I've been meaning to tell you."  he said with a sign at the end. "You weren't the only one with a prior engagement that night when we kissed. he began.

"Brynn... she's a new member of the pack. I'm not sure if you have had a chance to be acquainted with her yet... but... We were somewhat involved. She wasn't my mate or anything official but it was clear that we both liked one another."  he said trying to explain his and Brynn's relationship. "When you and I kissed... she was still under the impression that we would be together and so was I, I suppose, but that didn't come to mind that night. It was all about you and us... and that's all I wanted to think about." he wanted that to be all there was but he knew there was no point in stopping now. If she was going to know what happened she was going to learn all of it all at once.

"Then you went off and I wasn't sure what to do... While on my trip... the one I took after finding you, I meet someone else, even before meeting Brynn. I didn't know Brynn, I didn't know your feelings and I ended up encountering another woman who I connected with. I wasn't sure if I would see her again, but then a few days ago she came to our borders and express that she wanted there to be more between us. With her sudden appearance and with our past encounter I couldn't say to her that I was against the idea, but then I thought about Brynn and you and I didn't know what to do." he finished in a slightly frantic voice.

He took another breath trying to pull his thoughts together. "I had to find you. Tell you. Hear what you had to say. I just don't know if what I am doing is right." he said in a defeated tone. He looked up at her hoping not to see terror or sadness in her eyes. "I'm so sorry Cebra." he stated even before knowing her reaction. He hadn't wanted it to be like this.

"I know....I've been meaning to tell you" was the first thing he said to her. It didn't register in her mind properly at first but when it did she was still momentarily confused. Did Mawk confront him and Howl wanted to break it off? He continued speaking and her mind went blank for a moment, only registering everything he said but no reaction being given or shown on her expression. She had no right to be mad at him, especially when she had a mate and she'd known what she did was wrong. Howl had merely went behind the back of a female who he shared feelings with but not a real bond, like them. Even so her eyes flashed and ears went back and to the sides showing obvious displeasure. If she had known about Brynn she probably would have backed off, apologised and excused herself. The kiss never would have happened and there wouldn't be such a mess.

Slowly she lowered her haunches to the ground, eyes fierce and flashing as they stared directly at him. His confession continued on to have him admit that before both her and Brynn there had been yet another woman he had met and connected with. She slowly exhaled and looked down, mind racing. In her home pack men were shunned, but the women had many chosen breeding slaves to produce strong heirs. Was Howl trying to collect many women for that reason? She quickly dismissed that idea, he was too nice and genuine to ever want that type of thing. Maybe he just loved many women and wanted to treat them all as mates, she could sort of see that working. For her it would never work out, even though she was packmates with Brynn and would probably get along with her she was too possesive of her mates. When his apology was uttered she looked up, a sharp and angry look was given befoe she averted her eyes and spoke "That's not at all what I wanted to say Howl" she said in a surprisingly soft voice.

" A few nights after we kissed I began to remember Mawk and with the memories came pieces of myself that loved Mawk. I woke up from a particularly steamy one and went off to search for one of you. Mawk found me and for some reason it all just burst out. I confessed I love you and that we kissed" she felt her voice began to shake and she fell silent, looking back up at him and meeting his gaze. He would see the pain and regret in her gaze clear as day. "He was wounded, he began to avoid me, couldn't look at me or speak to me. I wanted to beg forgiveness but I was too proud. I avoided him too. Then I realised that the memories and Love for Mawk did nothing to rid me of my feelings for you. They're still here, I do still love you Howl but I wish you had told me of Brynn and the other woman. I don't share, I can't share. I am not someone who can do that even though I love you." the words spilled out before her voice cracked and she looked away, paws flexing so her nails dug into the dirt. 

"Mawk is my first love and mate so i can't give you advice on what you are doing. However, it is best to tell everyone now rather then drag it out. If Brynn can share and the other woman agrees, i don't see why you can't have both of them. You just...you can't have me. We'll be friends...act like the kiss never happened. Mawk needs me and... i need him." she finished finally, her heart squeezing in an odd flash of pain. She felt like she had just done something terrible, but she knew it was the proper thing to do.

He had expected anger or sadness but instead, it was simply subtle disappointment followed by soft words. He had just poured his heart out and he had expected her to throw it out or stomp on it rejecting him and everything to do with him. But instead, she went on to her own confession. One that he too could not be upset with her about. She had begun to remember the feelings that she had for Mawk shortly after their kiss and he could tell how it had caused her grief and agony.

He had expected this conversation to be all about all the things he had done but she was quick to turn the focus on herself which made Howl feel even worse. He was feeling his own level of guilt for what he had done and for those actions not to have caused a reaction in Cebra meant that what she must have felt would have been so much worse for her.

But the things that stuck with him the most was hearing that despite her feels for Mawk she still loved him. Even after all her other words saying that she couldn't share and that she should be with Mawk and Howl with the others he in his mind still heard that she loved him and he felt the same. "I don't want to act like it never happened."  he said boldly taking a step towards her. "These feelings that I feel for you can't simply be ignored and I know they will never go away." he continued walking closer as he continued.  "I want you... I want us..."  he declared finally getting close enough to rest his forehead against her.  "... even if it means I only get a part of you... it's better than nothing... Tell me that you don't feel that same... That you don't want this." he said looking for that shared feeling between them.

Last post! Cebra bolted!

She had expected him to be hurt and disappointed, not to tempt her even further. Her eyes widened at his words and though she wanted to step away when he moved forward she was rooted in place. Her heart quickened and also stabbed with grief at the same time, wanting him and wanting to deny him at the same time. "Don't Howl.." she whispered and closed her eyes, whining as he pressed his forehead to hers. He was asking her to give up Mawk, he was asking her to risk losing everything she ever loved except for him. If he truly knew her, loved her, then would he ask her to stay with him now that she remembered her life?


She opened her eyes and felt her lips curl over her fangs, forcing a growl to leave her maw as she stepped away from him. "My feelings for you won't magically vanish, they won't disappear...but they will fade Howl. Yours will fade for me. Because we have others who we love, you have two others. I have Mawk and my one remaining child to care for." she spoke more firmly, eyes flashing with the fierceness that was her trademark. She searched his gaze eyes softening for a moment as she took more steps backward. "I wanted us Howl. Part of me still does. But the rest of me wants Mawk more, because he is the reason I've made it through everything. You can have my friendship, or you can have nothing at all...Im sorry. I really am. I...." she cut herself off before she could say those toxic three words that would have made everything worse. She looked away and then bolted, heading for Easthollow as fast as she could.