Silver Creek And suddenly I'm trapped

Anyone can join! Rosings or not ^_^

Ever since having brought Prialux to Rosings Lilah had felt a change within herself. She was used to a feeling of security and stability, back at Golden Ranch she had been one of the women that was desired and her place there never seemed at risk. She had protection under Grayson's guidance, she had friends and when Grayson decided to lead some of them away she didn't see any reason not to. Now though she was beginning to understand that this pack would be different. There were many females and so little men around that only the most uneducated woman wouldn't catch on to the competition. Only the best women would get to stay and have a husband and Lilah....well Lilah didn't see herself as one of the best.


She was scared, so scared that she would be thrown out of Rosings and left alone and to survive by herself. Grayson had made it quite clear that she was easily overlooked compared to the other women and she doubted that Harrison would be given her as a wife. She felt so trapped by a home she once loved and she began to head toward the borders and called for a man to walk with her knowing the rules. If someone didn't come she would go alone, she needed some alone time and she'd be damned if she gave it up because of the rule that says women need protection twenty four seven. If she stayed nearby she wouldn't get hurt, she was sure of it.

FINALLY JOINS THIS THREAD <3

he heard the call. it irked him that such would be requested but... a damsel in distress was a damsel in distress, and grayson knew better than to leave the women without an outlet. god forbid they start to gossip. about what? there was nothing of interest to be discussed lately. grayson would end this before it turned into something outrageous. women. 

"lilah," he called, unknowing that he was probably the only wolf lilah didn't care to see. ignorant fool. "are you alright?" he asked, concern laced over the pale whites of his iris'. he did not ask where she was going.

It took some time for a response to come along and so right before Grayson came ambling along she was poised to head over the borders alone. When he said her name in greeting she froze, ears going back and eyes squeezing shut tightly. Of the few men left around here why would it have to be him? Why did he even bother to respond? She felt a sort of bitterness rising up her throat as she turned to him, violet eyes flicking over his face before removing themselves so she wouldn't have to see him. "Grayson" she returned the greeting and then fell silent. No she wasn't alright. His arrival had brought the true problem to the front of her mind, it wasn't the massive amount of women and lack of men but rather that all the other women seemed more poised and desirable and Grayson was always so charming with them and then acted like she was some sort of little kid sister that he had to protect. She was a damned woman for hecks sake and she knew darn well that she was not ugly, so why wouldn't he see her?

Despite the bubbling up of anger and indignation she turned her gaze back up to his face and despite how she thought she was hiding it, they flashed with anger and hurt. She gave a curt nod "I need a walk. I feel smothered. Trapped." she was blunt with part of the truth, leaving out the part about how she wanted him and why the hell wouldn't he just act like she was one of the options despite how the words threatened to rise up of their own accord.

the curt response from someone as soft and delicate as lilah was surprising, but grayson would not argue. if that's what she claimed she wanted then... so be it. he would give to her demands-- they were small, after all. "then let's walk, lilah," he returned gently, and gave her a soft nudge to the cheek to move forwards. 

it would be in quiet for a while before grayson would speak up again. "can i ask what is troubling you?" 

SORRY THIS IS SHORT

Lilah's tail wagged when Grayson nudged her cheek, almost instinctively like her body was trained to get all soft and mushy whenever he was around and if that didn't piss her off more. She turned her face away and silently stalked out of the borders, her back to him as she didn't bother to wait up. Even when he asked her a question she held her tongue despite the fact that words bubbled up, building pressure and threatening to burst out. She knew it was rude and she felt a bit bad but what could she say? She had been the shy little damsel in distress, the charity case for far too long and she was regretting it. The more steps she took the more the pressure built until the words burst out and she paused, whirling to face him her ears flattened back against her head "Why do you do that? You...You make it perfectly clear that I am not as desirable and wanted as the others, that you can overlook me without the slightest care, so why do you still play at pretending you care? Is...Is it just because you are an Odolf man, your job is to take care us women?" she froze, her eyes widening slightly as she realised that she had just shouted, just yelled angrily at Grayson. After a brief pause her eyes narrowed and she huffed, deciding she didn't care.

She turned around again and began to walk away while speaking "I love you but i'm sure because you're Grayson Odolf you won't be surprised by that. But it isn't because of your genes, or your looks, or because you're just a man and im a female. No. It's because you protected me from the nasty, evil touches and looks of the men back at Golden Ranch. You defended me against the women who tried to knock me down. I saw...I saw a noble man, a hero, a gentleman with a kind heart and I loved him. Yet...I brought that gorgeous cinnamon furred broad in and suddenly I am invisible!" she continued on her tirade, her emotions finally just bursting out and who knows, maybe it was because the breeding season was almost upon them and her hormones were flying but she literally paused again, sat down and hung her head. "I get that i'm not beautiful and classy and....and sexy like everyone else but...I honestly maybe thought that because you took care of me and treated me so nice that you really cared for me. Did you just use me as a way to show off to other women? 'Hey ladies I can protect you. I keep little Lilah over here safe after all' is that it?"

ohmygosh i'm so sorry for sudden angst. poor Lilah. Poor Grayson.

lilah was suddenly acting strange-- so very strange. much stranger than women typically did! especially lilah, who had always been the epitome of a good, easy, lady. she was quiet, only spoke when spoken to, and never did she dare speak her mind. grayson had known her since they were both pups-- she'd grown quite predictable, but he had never expected this from her. 

and yet, he didn't appear surprised. maybe it was because he felt he could handle women and all their whims-- maybe he just wasn't surprised a woman would become such a slave to her emotions. either way, he let her speak. 

"it is my job, lilah," he said, brow furrowing, looking upon her with concern pressed to his dark features, "it is my job to take care of you, and addison, and emerson, and prialux, and every other woman that comes to me. i do not put feelings in front of my work, because if i let them reign free you would all be in danger." all of them. hah! how could he run around chasing emotion when there was work to do? families to raise? scoff. lilah wouldn't understand that. never mind that grayson didn't understand that lilah was referring to the fact he wanted to bang every female in this god forsaken forest besides her. which, for the record, wasn't true. but grayson refused to close himself off from opportunity. "i care about you, whether or not you want to see it," he added, firmer, as if he was hurt, "don't you ever accuse me of pretending to care." his gaze averted hers, head turning elsewhere. even though grayson pretended... a lot. 

oh bother. here came that god damn self-deprecation. women lacked self-esteem, they always needed a man to tell them how pretty they are. lilah, it seemed, was no different-- begging for praise. pathetic. all women were. he let her finish her spiel, trying not to bare his teeth at her-- though if a man raised his voice at him like this, grayson might've snapped. "you, lilah," he said, gaze narrowing down his nose and pointed at her, "are beautiful, and classy, and sexy, just like everyone else." and then he waited for a moment, shaking his head. silence fell over them.

"is that what you want to hear?" he asked, challenged, even, though he didn't expect a woman to accept a challenge, "that i think of you like i think of everyone else? that i put you as just another woman among my ranks?" oh! but he did. and he absolutely used poor little lilah, poor delicate lilah, as a little trophy case. here's the woman i saved again! i am a hero! a man among men! i will keep you save too! but he would never admit that. to anyone except, perhaps, harrison. only because harrison did the same. 

"i am that same man i was before," he said with a heavy huff, white air raising him his muzzle in a cloud, "i have more responsibility now-- there are politics involved. how i treat others has nothing to do with the way i treat you. and i don't know how to help you see the way i look at you." the same way he looked at everyone else. opportunity.

Lilah for the first time ever, did not soften and break at the first sign of concern from Grayson. Instead it steeled her resolve to show him how much he really didn't know about women. She held her tongue as he preached about it being his job and how he did care but she knew he didn't grasp what she was saying and she didn't believe that he really cared. She believed he only took care of her because not to would make him look bad. "So going around flirting, charming and lusting after everyone must be your job too. You're really slacking off there. At least with me you are." she hated how bitter and cold her voice came out and looked away again. "You do not feel in general Grayson. Except when it involves yourself. Otherwise you would know how badly you have been making me feel lately, how...worthless you've shown me to be. I am nothing to you but a charity case to show off. You think that by showing everyone how much you care about little Orphan Lilah and how good you treat me you'll have women drooling." she scoffed internally as she thought that women drooled over him anyway.

She froze as he faced her and her eyes squeezed shut as he said words that she had wanted to hear from him ever since she was a kid. Any other situation and she probably would have swooned, blushed, been rendered speechless but in this one it hurt worse than anything else had before. Her ears flattened to her head and her tail drooped between her legs "Funny but... you've made me feel so..lowly and lesser than any other female. Now here you are saying otherwise and it's.. it's so fake." she whispered. She would have ended it there but then he snapped at her, challenging her much to her surprise and she blinked up at him with shock. Then her eyes flashed defiantly and she accepted the challenge "No Grayson. For once I want the damned truth. I want to stop being lead on, lied to and used to get you hero worshipped. It's pathetic. You don't..need all this fakeness to get women. You don't need to use me to make them see you as a great man, a hero. You can do that by just being you." her own tone was firm but she still kept herself respectful, eyes averted to the point of his nose below his eyes.

She gave a bitter laugh and lashed her tail, shaking her head slowly "You were never that man really, were you? You could have been. You could really have accepted my friendship and devotion and kept me safe without selfish gains. Instead you used me when I was helpless. You arent a gentleman Grayson." she realised she was stepping over boundaries now but she was tired of being sweet helpless little Lilah. "I do see how you look at me except suddenly I don't care. I will not continue to drool over you anymore when all you see me as is an opportunity to get laid" she finished and stood there, only then realising that her tail had come out from between her legs and she held it higher than she ever had before though it was still below Grayson's.

grayson let her talk. oh! stand on your soap-box, lilah, talk all you want. lilah talked. blabbed! lilah blabbed. rambled and sputtered and gab gab gab... until she seemed to have her fill-- seemed content with herself for standing up to the man who had given her everything she'd ever wanted. he'd rescued her time and time again. repeatedly been at her side when she needed a shoulder to cry on. and what? he was being chewed out for not loving her? as if she could even know who and what the grand titan would love. scoff. women were such imbeciles. 

if she thought she was being respectful, she was sorely mistaken. a respectful woman did not talk out of turn, did not raise her voice, did not shout slurs and accusations at a man. they did not shout at any man, but especially not grayson. she talked too much and too boldly. grayson had heard enough from her. all her logic was void to grayson, who disregarded her solely because she treated him improperly.

his expression hardened, no longer filled with concern or hesitation. she would no longer drool over him she said, but grayson doubted it. "then wipe your mouth, lilah," he said coldly, and turned to leave her. over his shoulder, grayson called, "don't wander far, it'll be dark before long." or maybe she would leave, maybe she'd hit her breaking point with grand ole' grayson and maybe lilah would run for the hills. grayson didn't know, and he didn't care. he hoped she'd stick around solely on the grounds that there were men for her to be mated to. 

but there were plenty of other women.

Silence stretched for what seemed like an eternity before she watched his expression go hard and cold. When he spoke it was like each word was a bite dealt to the most sensitive spot of her body, the heart. With much difficulty she swallowed down the lump that threatened to bring tears and instead she watched him leave, his words leaving smarting wounds inside of her. "I hope whoever gets your attention in the end hurts you enough for a wake up call Grayson Odolf!" she shouted, voice choked up but he was already gone. He had abandoned her. She sniffled and looked back toward the Creek, choosing instead to walk farther away. Screw the dark, she would not return until the next day. She would prove that she didn't need him any longer. She wouldn't ever, ever cower beneath him anymore. Sure she would be a lady, give him what he deserved as a man but he was no longer in her savior, her hero. He was nothing but a cold-hearted user, a man whore. 

omg i love this stuff. Tysm <3