Shadewood I only wish we weren't friends

@Takara or perhaps @Issun for a bittersweet moment? Or maybe @Deku for sad mommy feels?

She didn't fall asleep nestling into her son as she normally did. She didn't go to Takara or anyone else. Instead she stood and made sure Deku stayed asleep and walked outside, far away from any sleeping wolves and sat where she could see the moon. There she searched for poppy and upon finding them, she licked them off the flower.

A while passed and when the high hit all the sadness that was choking her surged forth and she cried, a calm, quiet but powerful cry that had tears streaming freely. As she looked to the moon she began to sing, unaware of how loud she was being.

I only wish you weren't my friend
Then I could hurt you in the end
I never claimed to be a saint
Ooh, my own was banished long ago
It took the death of hope to let you go
So break yourself against my stones
And spit your pity in my soul
You never needed any help
You sold me out to save yourself
And I won't listen to your shame
You ran away, you're all the same
Angels lie to keep control
Ooh, my love was punished long ago
If you still care don't ever let me know
If you still care don't ever let me know

it was quiet then and young deku had found that his curiosity had a way of sweeping the time out from under him in moments of silence. if orochi wasn’t causing trouble or making messes, the starchaser was mostly left to his own devices. he liked to keep an eye on his angry little brother to make sure that he wasn’t going to do something that would hurt him. deku was certain that their mother would not be pleased if orochi somehow managed to permanently damage himself in a fit of rage… or whatever it was that fueled him to do such outlandish things.
 
he had been sleepy, but just as the boy had started to close his eyes and drift away, the sound of singing roused him. that was his mom’s voice, he knew, but there was such sadness in it. deku listened for a long moment with perked ears and an intense expression on his young face. when he could not stand the feeling of sadness that had filled him, the starchaser rose to his paws and sought her out. it did not take long for him to find her.
 
deku approached slowly before touching his cold nose to her ribs in a motion of comfort. “mama? you okay?” deku asked her in a soft voice.

Her ears picked up the faint sounds of her boy's paws as he approached and she quickly wiped her eyes turning to look at him as he pressed against her. She sucked in a shaking breath at his question, such a basic gesture of concern but from her little Deku it meant more than anything. "I am now" she whispered and lowered her muzzle to kiss reassuringly at his forehead. She remained silent and felt it, the knowledge that she would have to explain the situation to Deku somehow. "I have to talk to you about something" she said gently, unsure how to go about this and falling silent as she pondered over it.

high emotion was still something that was challenging for the young boy to grasp. he had learned to speak well enough, with only a few misspoken words here and there. he was observant enough that he was able to pick up on things without needing to be taught, but there was still a challenge in the concept of understanding why it was that others felt the way they did. deku was not incapable of feeling. he too carried a strong level of emotional stamina within him, but he wanted to know more about the causes of such things.
 
more importantly, deku wanted to know what had forced this feeling upon his mother. his eyes searched her face curiously, hoping to pry deeper just by staring. she stated that she had something she wanted to tell him. the boy sat down and curled his tail around to his side. with an expectant glance, the starchaser looked back up to his mother. “okay. did i do something?”

There was something so innocent about the way he looked at her and she wondered whether or not telling him would ruin that. She hesitated and when he asked if it was him she gasped and slid down to her stomach beside him "No baby...no. You're the best thing in my life" she whispered and looked even sadder. Why would he think it was him? She brushed that aside and readied herself for a tough conversation. "Me and your daddy are...well we aren't together anymore" she said unsure how to explain. "Sometimes in life we  make mistakes that we can't make up for. Sometimes people lie about those mistakes instead of being honest" she tried to say it as simply as possible. "Your daddy...he's a good man but even good men make these mistakes...even good men lie. He made a mistake that really broke my heart" she paused there and looked down at him giving him time to process and ask questions if he needed to. She didn't want him thinking badly about his father but she wanted him to know the truth and to learn from his dad's mistakes.

the little star child listened to his mother as she explained the situation with his father. he did not understand all that he wished to. it hurt his heart to imagine that he might not get to see his dad again because of this… fight. deku didn’t know the truth of the world yet. he was naïve in his belief that fighting served no purpose in their lives. he wanted only for his family to be together – to love each other – and for them to find happiness in that. these were things that he did not know how to put into words, so he looked up to his mother with doleful eyes and tried not to cry.
 
“did daddy say sorry?” the boy asked her softly. was there no room for forgiveness? surely, if everyone made mistakes, there had to be a way to rectify this. deku feared quietly that he might make a mistake one day that would cost him the love of his mother and this was crippling to him. the starchaser did not share these thoughts with her. he held them in a secret place within his heart and prayed that they would never come true.

She closed her eyes and held back the floodgates, taking a deep breath and recalling the conversation. "He made excuses. Lied. Then said lying was best" she said softly. She leaned down and nuzzled him gently, laying down and motionomo him close "Relationships are built on trust. When you keep secrets and lie and don't confess your mistakes, it damages the trust." she slowly explained it and sighed "I forgive him for what he did but he also broke my trust. There is no fixing that. You'll get to see him and I won't be mean to him, we just can't love one another anymore" she looked sadder than before, hating how this needed to be done because his father wouldn't stick around.

<33 I'm sorry for making u wait my work week has just been killing me

it was still incredibly challenging for the young boy to grasp what his mother shared with him. it left so many questions to flutter around in his mind - like a sea of butterflies with nowhere to go. deku did not wish to see his mother suffer at the hands of a man that he admired and adored. something within him wished to speak with issun, as well, but from the sound of things... well, deku was not certain when he would have the chance. moreover, the young child of the stars did not know what he would even ask of his father. "can love go 'way?" he asked softly. could he ever do something to lose the affection of his mother?

Don't worry about It! I've been struggling a bit too

He asked a surprisingly big question for such a young boy and she sighed softly imagining he'd be another one that would keep her soft. The thought made her smile sadly as she knew that she could only do her best with raising him. She nodded slowly "It can but it's very hard to make happen and you don't ever have to worry about that Deku" she said this in a serious voice, meaning it. She looked down at him and smiled lovingly "A mother never stops loving their children. It is a bond that can't be broken" she whispered this as she nuzzled him reassuringly. He could and would make mistakes, it was foolish to thing he wouldn't but she had faith that he would learn and grow. He was a good boy through and through but she wondered if he had inherited any of his father's bad qualities.

there was relief in hearing that it was a challenging feat to accomplish – losing the love of another. while she was positive in her affirmation that he could never do something to cause the same result, the young star child worried, nonetheless. it was childish, but he was still very young and his ideas of how emotions were formed and how they transitioned over time was limited to what he had experienced. deku knew only that he loved his mother and father more than the air that he breathed. he even loved orochi, though his brother was something frightening when things did not go his way.
 
“can dad fix? he can make better?” deku then prompted with a hopeful glittering in the puppy blue of his gaze. whether it was true or not, the young boy wanted to think that it was possible for his parents to reconcile their differences and find what had brought them together in the first place. so young, and already so full of hopes that would never come true.

Could Issun fix it? She stayed silent for a few moments, peering into the hopeful blue eyes of the one wolf who was deeply rooted inside her heart. The knowledge that both Takara and Issun had betrayed her had shaken the peace of mind she had developed. She had been given the knowledge that the two people who gave her faith in the world were just as cruel as everyone else and it made her believe staying distant and only serving yourself and your family was once again the thing to do. 

So could Issun fix it?...

No he couldn't but she wouldn't hold the problems against him anymore. She would simply stay away and let him see his son while she worked to make a life for their family and raise Deku right. The only thing keeping her from saying so was the hope in her boy's eyes, the thing that kept her from shutting the doors of her heart forever "Maybe....only time and actions will tell" she said softly, her voice warm but holding a heaviness that betrayed her sadness. "You should get some rest Deku, Everything will be alright in time. We'll be okay" she said this with firm conviction her eyes steeling beneath the residual moistness of her tears.

the silence that filled the air following his question was not something that he took very kindly to. each passing moment that she took to think on his query was another painful pricking at his young heart. all he wanted was the chance that his family could be repaired and returned to the way it had been before. deku was young, and he was inclined to believe that anything could be fixed with the right amount of love and care. it was impossible for him to imagine that his mother and father could not fix what had been broken. he did not know that trust was a very delicate thing.
 
when the answer came, it settled his rattled nerves. deku looked to his mother with a sweet smile and nodded his head to her. turning away from where they had sat, the young boy found a comfortable position where he curled up into a ball of white and black fur. sleep did not take him immediately. when it did, deku dreamed of an ocean full of stars.