Noctisardor Bypass But there are things that the Homilies and hymns won't teach ya

AW ~~ Anyone welcome to cheer the poor bab up.

She was lonely.

She missed him.

Sure, she had her friends, her packmates. But that wasn't the same. Perhaps she had been foolish to believe in love again - perhaps she should have never approached Knew on that day. But, alas... she had. And she couldn't reverse the events. But she wished she could.

The last month or so had been such hard work - the others had been there and worked too, but they were all happy. They had someone to live for - and Gwen didn't. She hurt inside. Really bad. Especially when she saw Cebra and Mawk together - heck, even the friendly little gestures between Horosk and Semira. It pained her. She wanted something that she couldn't have. Something she'd never been able to have.

It had always been taken from her.

Love.  Why could she not have someone in this world to love? She had tried - oh she had tried so hard. She wanted to keep her love with Knew. She had wanted something to grow out of it. Maybe even a family. A lasting relationship, at the very least. But he had gone, and she was all alone.  Even now, she lay alone. She was in her den, curled up. She didn't even have parents, or siblings to talk too. The pain was too much. Especially now that Mawk and Cebra were having pups - that could have been her. She could have had that with Knew. But he wasn't here and that would never happen. Not unless he returned, which by now she believed he wouldn't.

A small, salty tear rolled down her cheek. Her eyes were scrunched up and she was trying her best just to hold it all together. Maybe she would stay like this forever, a single broken soul among the cheerful. Maybe that's what she was meant to be.

she could fasten her jaws around her neck. crush the leader, and have the other's follow her. it would be so easy to do it now, she mused, a silent shadow amongst the trees, watching the "empress" as she cried. but no, for hast did not factor into any strategy. and while she had decided a time ago that this would not be a simple pit stop on her travels, but a place where she would satisfy the growing lust for power she held. her ambition to hold power wavered, and most times she was simply content to deal whatever havoc she could. but here, amidst these sheep, it would be so easy to simply takeover. but not yet. 

adopting a nervous smile and flattening her ears against her skull, she twitched her tail behind her in nervousness as she approached the leader with false kindness plastered all over her. to know your enemy was to know how to bring them down, and information was what she sought. she approached noisily, "accidently" setting a rock loose to clatter down a short incline. she halted a short distance from the Empress, asking softly, " Are you okay, Empress?" information was most readily given to the suppliant and kind, she had learned rather quickly. 

The approach of Circe had not been expected, as Gwen hardly knew the subordinate and she was still not completely trusted yet. The Empress glanced up, eyes teary, watching the dark wolfess with a blank expression. What could she say? She did not wish to spill out her whole life story and explain where things had gone wrong, nor did she want to speak about how many loved ones she had lost. 

"I'm fine," she muttered, sniffing one more time before flicking her tail in uncertainty. She forced the rest of the tears back and avoided the gaze of the raven. It would do no good for her packmates to watch her cry - and breaking down in front of them all was the last thing she wanted to do. "I'm just.... remembering things. But it does not matter. I'm fine." The icy queen pushed herself up so that she was sat down, watching Circe now with unreadable eyes once more. 

"How are you settling in to the pack? I... I know we haven't really had a chance to talk since you joined, and I do apologise for that. I have been busy." Her attempt at changing the subject was probably useless as the inferior had seen her crying, she had seen the pain etched across her leaders face, and no doubt she would still know something was up. But Gwen tried to take her mind of it by switching the conversation onto Circe instead.

why on earth would the woman be sobbing like this? there were very few explanations, and the most obvious was that she had lost something. people seldom sobbed over other things, though perhaps someone had been mean to the poor Empress and reduced her to this. she did not speak on her thoughts, instead remaining silent and retaining an air of silence. 

when the woman had contained herself and asked how she was settling in, switching the conversation around quite obviously. she considered prying, but decided she could not afford it after the whole poisoning incident. offering a small smile, she began earnestly. "I've been settling in great, Empress. I spoke to Rhona; I'd like to become a healer, too. And perhaps a naturalist." her true trades may sound far too suspicious, and thus she claimed false in her aspirations. Becoming known as one capable of not only poisoning others but holding her own in a fight (no matter how much she loathed the act unless necessary) would arise far too much suspicion.