Phoenix Maplewood i hate the air he breathes

@Guillotina

after the encounter with the dog, zeus rested for a few hours before continuing along with his journey to nowhere. his hunger made itself well known, growling with every few steps he took. there were deer along his path, which he had tried and failed to hunt. it wasn’t a surprise, he was never successful with hunting herds these days. he’d have to strive for something smaller once more.

zeus was on the lookout for prey, but stopped once he saw, and smelled, something interesting on the trees surrounding him. a thick, sweet smelling, orange substance dripped from the bark. he’d never seen anything like it before. the male approached with caution, sniffed, then took a taste test. it wasn’t meat, but it wasn’t bad either, so he just went to town on it.

thanks for starting :)

Guillotina had already gotten lost. A few hours in the woods and she was grumpy. She was also hungry which made her more grumpy because nothing feels better than having your stomach constantly nag and remind you it was empty. She stalked around looking for food but no food turned up. Guillotina thought about taking her anger out on a tree when she saw a wolf out of the corner of her eye.

That wolf was licking a tree. Why? There had to be something wrong with this wolf. Guillotuna crept forward as the weirdo kept licking the tree. She smiled smugly to herself when she saw he looked like her but she was much prettier, especially her eyes. No one had eyes quite like her. She was always much prettier than other wolves. Guillotina didn't wait for the wolf that was french kissing the tree to notice her, she just spoke. "You must be confused. That is a tree. You are a wolf." She spoke slowly in case this wolf had an impediment. She was pretty sure he did.

he was so wrapped up in his work that he hadn’t noticed the girl watching him. when she spoke, he tugged his head up whilst sucking air between his teeth. zeus whipped around and met the stranger’s eyes with a hard stare and a growl.

“oh really? i could’ve swore i was a squirrel,” he hissed sarcastically. in all honesty he was a little embarrassed that someone found him like this; so desperate for food that he was willing to devour some random sap. but of course he didn’t physically show it.

Guillotina smiled as she was noticed. SHe expected the male would take one look at her and adore her. Instead he growled at her and fixed her with one of those mean stares. Guillotina did not like mean stares and she stared back, knowing her eyes were far prettier. She gasped as he sassed her. Not only was he not as pretty, he was now rude too.

Guillotuna didn't like being talked back to like that. She rolled her eyes while her auds moved back. Two could play that game, and he would find out she was better at it. Like she was at everything.

She gave him a good long look from top to bottom. Then she spoke. "Squirrels don't eat trees either, so that's two strikes. Have you hit your head lately? Normally you can tell by looking at someone's eyes but yours are a weird color so I'm not sure. Don't think too hard, I don't want to stress ya."

his ears folded back against his skull as she spat insults at him. no one ever talked to him like that, ever, and he didn’t like it not one bit. a hot temper slithered down his spine, causing him to bare his teeth at her. he wanted to rip that tongue from her smart mouth but held himself back. his strength wasn’t exactly at its best, it would be a waste of time. she wasn’t worth it anyways.

”fuck you,” was the only thing he barked. zeus stepped back and continued to lap up the maple. he kept a close eye on her, just in case she decided to get physical. “you should try some,” he purred in a patronizing manner. he stepped away and nodded to the orange ooze. “maybe it’ll shut you up.”

Guillotina was all ready for a brawl. She could tell she had hit a nerve. This made a smug smile appear. She liked pressing buttons, even in complete strangers. It had gotten her in trouble a few times but she didn't care. She had legs, she could use them.

Then he had the nerve to cuss at her. She gasped loudly at his rudeness. Luckily she had the perfect comeback because Guillotina was quite rude herself. "Why don't you fuck yourself first? You'd get more pussy that way." She flashed him a wolfish smile. Men hated being called women. She couldn't wait to see what he would say back. Just in case she also kept her eye on him. You could never trust men and their tempers. They were remarkably short.

the corner of his mouth rose up in a smirk at her shock. he had a fleeting sense of victory. now she had to be quiet, right?

wrong.

she kept going on. zeus leaned his head against the tree and closed his eyes for a moment. why couldn’t she let him eat in peace? “yeah, well that sounds much more pleasant than talking to you sweetie,” he grumbled under his breath. he turned his gaze back to her. “you act like this with every stranger you meet?”

Guillotina knew her words packed a punch. It gave her satisfaction to see his smirk wiped away. Hah, take that masculinity! She smirked herself. It was a good comeback and she felt good putting him his place. She had just been trying to help him and he was being so rude to her, he really deserved it.

She couldn't imagine anything was more pleasant than talking to her. She was a great talker. She wasn't bad to look at either. That made her a better conversationalist already than most people. Truthfully, he could do a lot worse. "Only when the strangers are rude to me." Guillotina smiled sweetly, but she wasn't feeling sweet at all as she looked at him.

“well hate to break it to you, but i don’t do manners,” he scoffed. as if that wasn’t obvious enough. he respected no one but himself these days. “especially for randos who wanna mouth off right when they see me. so don’t expect me to-”

he was cut off by the sound of his stomach growing, quite loudly too. the man hunched over himself slightly and grumbled in return. he looked away from the girl now as if nothing happened. she didn’t need to know he was starved out of his mind.

The male explained he didn't do manners. She nodded, agreeing with him. It was kind of obvious he didn't do manners. If he did manners they wouldn't be in this predicament. She gave him a cocky smile and sniffed as she looked him over. Nothing about her look was approving.

"Looks like there's a lot of things ya don't do. Manners... hygeine... apparently, eating.." She blinked at him innocently.

he hoped that maybe his signs of hunger would go over her head. but of course she commented on it, along with other things of course.

”again, fuck you,” he replied, standing up and flashing a fake smile at her. “shit that keeps you fed for days ain’t easy to catch on your own.” in any other circumstance, zeus wouldn’t be admitting this to her. but hey, what else did he have to loose?

he turned around and got ready to leave, but the little lightbulb that lit in his head made him stay. “you hungry?” she was a loner too, by the smell of it. maybe he could convince her to help him hunt something worthwhile.

Again with the rudeness! Guillotina's auds pinned. She didn't like being spoken to like that. It was not classy at all. "Don't threaten me with a good time." She growled back at him, annoyed at him.

she eanted to push him down or something when he stood up, but she didnt want to risk her hair. She had perfectly groomed it and he would ruin it. It's what men always did, ruining things. Men really suck, when you think about it. Always going around chasing tail, or crying like a big baby, or yelling rude things to poor pretty ladies like her. Guillltoina had enough of it.  

she didnt want to appear weak in front of him. She cleared her throat and glared at him some more. "Depends on what's on the menu." Guillotina growled. If he said "these nuts" or "my dick" she would kick him in the fucking face. 

a part of him expected some kind of answer along the lines of ‘hell no’, so he was pleasantly surprised when she showed some interest. maybe, just maybe, he’d be able to utilize the situation.

”there’s a herd of deer. not too far from here,” he stated, “you help me hunt and we’ll split.” he’d rather hunt with literally anyone else, but why waste a moment like this?

He didnt even respond to her sarcastic remark. Maybe he was dumb afrter all. Maybe Sarchasm was a gully he couldn't quite leap yet.

Guillotina wasn't really fond of deer. She was more of a Macca girl. All that work, chasing a deer. Then you had to kill it and such because for some reason deer didn't like it when you ate them. It really was too much effort for Guillotina. She was more of a Tim Hortons gal. You don't even got to get out of your car at Tim Hortons.

She sighed because she didnt want to scuff her paws or ruin her hair.  This man was a lot of trouble Guillotina decided. Maybe she would be better of going back to the crying one Moanin milton. At least he brought her food she didn't have to work for. He was kind if like a Tim Hortons, if Tim Hortons were brown and didnt bathe often. "ok, creeps first."

last post for me!

he flashed a smug little grin, feeling overall triumphant over the whole situation. “don’t mind if i do,” he hummed, bumping into her shoulder as he trotted past. he took one look back and continued forward, expecting her to follow.