Redhawk Caldera Signaling through the flames
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Ooc — Kat
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#1
Today, he stuck close to home, with no intention of wandering beyond his own borders. He hunted on the caldera's slopes, then headed to the mount's base for a noon patrol. Some snow had fallen overnight, dusting the mountainside, though not much had stuck down here. The ground underfoot alternated between cold, rocky earth and patches of dry, crispy grass. It sort of made his feet sore.

He made it around the caldera in just over two hours and finally slowed to a stop. The Alpha male plopped onto his muscular black haunches and stared at the picturesque landscapes sprawling in front of him. It wasn't late but the sun was already beginning to set, burnishing everything with a subtle orange glow.
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Ooc — Sydney
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(I'm closing up my IC Joining Thread with Fox. We got to the point where Fox accepted Somnia into Redhawk Caldera, so I should be fine to post elsewhere now.)

Somnia saw the dark wolf outlined against the landscape from afar. Should I go over and introduce myself? I guess I should, as I need to get familiarized with the pack still. Somnia loped over to the black male, and laid down submissively in front of him. So far the pack didn't seem too strict on submissiveness, otherwise she would've been even more submissive, laying fully on her back and grinding her face into the dirt. Should he mention it, she could still easily do just that.

Now, Somnia faced the usual challenge that came with her getting to know a stranger. Either it was her going into overload, bringing up anything and everything she can about the topic of the conversation, or her mind went blank, leaving her to struggle through. This time, it was her mind going blank.

"I..... I...... Um....." What was she about to say? Something to this wolf, something about Redhawk Caldera. Oh! She was new here. She had to tell this male that she was the newest member of his pack. "I'm the newest member of your pack!" Oh... She also should've included her name! But... What was her name? Somnia.... That was her name! Somnia Kiatrone. "My name is Somnia. Somnia Kiatrone."
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Ooc — Victoria
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There was no doubt in Ragnar's mind that when he returned to Stavanger Bay, Thistle would be waiting for it, poised to scream and possibly tear into him. Never mind that his title as worlds worst patient coupled with his inability to sit still for any measure of time was hardly anything new. The Northman couldn't let a missing eye and three little scratches keep him from his duties as Jarl. After all, he wasn't dead yet. It hadn't stopped him when the left half of his face had been mutilated intentionally, and he wasn't about to stop now. He did not sacrifice his eye, did not allow Odinn to take it simply to sit on his ass and do nothing. He had heard whispers of new packs in the Wilds long before his trip to the Spine in an attempt to find Julooke's attacker, but the Spine Queen had confirmed it for him, at least. He was the only Outrider that Stavanger Bay had at the moment and he would sooner that he went to investigate these new packs for himself as opposed to sending a subordinate. It wasn't that he didn't trust them, merely it felt more like it was his duty, in the here and now and lead (and only) Outrider. Besides, Stavanger Bay over the past few days, primarly since the “sacrifice” had begun to feel like a giant cage to Ragnar and if he hadn't gotten out when he did he might have gone insane.

At least he had tried to do as Thistle instructed of him; but the cold hard truth that Ragnar had long ago embraced was that life was not going to put itself on hold just because he was injured.

Steps slowed as the scent of a pack hung heavily in the air, the scents familiar to him but missing the distinct scent that he associated with Blacktail Deer Plateau. Brow furrowed ever so slightly in confusion, though the slight lag in thoughts might have been because of the Berserker mushroom he'd eaten to dull the pain to a manageable ache. He would much rather take a Berserker mushroom than gag down Thistle's poppy seeds, even if his wife wholeheartedly disagreed with his choice. Coming across a familiar shape on the borders as he neared them, Ragnar's steps ceased all together as he studied Peregrine carefully with one eye. It was becoming easier, adapting, but easier because his senses on his left side: touch, hearing seemed to become even more heightened to make up the lack of vision. “Peregrine?” It became abundantly clear that Ragnar had missed much — not that he really made it a habit of sticking his nose into others' business. The woman had been on Ragnar's blind side, but he could smell her and inclined his head to study her next in the sunset, wondering if he'd interrupted something.

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Ooc — Kat
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An unfamiliar wolf approached from his side of the borders even as he spotted another in the distance. Keeping an eye on this possible threat, Peregrine turned to regard his pack's newest recruit. She prostrated herself in front of him. He observed this approvingly, though he would be quick to assure her that such displays weren't necessary.

"My wife told me about you. It's good to meet you, Somnia. No need to lay there like a hot dog. You can sit up. Actually, if you'd move closer to stand behind me, I'd appreciate it," he said, motioning with his muzzle toward the shape growing in the distance. "We have company."

Peregrine shifted to stand tall, ears erect and tail thrust upward into the air so this stranger would make no mistake: he or she was approaching an Alpha on claimed lands. He remained rigid, though when the wolf came near enough to make out some of his features, his brow furrowed. Is that...? Ragnar? What he hell is he doing here? As comprehension came over him, he relaxed significantly while maintaining a dominant poise.

"Ragnar," he greeted when the ivory male turned his head to better look at the she-wolf beside him, revealing the gaping wound in his skull. "What brings—what the actual fuck happened to your face...?!"
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Ooc — Sydney
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Somnia stood up and quickly got behind Peregrine. She looked at the stranger in the distance, then back at Peregrine, awaiting his reaction. Should the scenario turn into a fight, Somnia would help her alpha fight off the intruder. But, as she saw Peregrine relax a little, she realized that the chance of a fight wasn't as likely.

Somnia didn't enjoy fighting that much. She was one of those wolves who would rather try to talk things out before resorting to violence. But, Somnia still knew how to fight should she have to. Plus, it wasn't her choice whether they talked it out or fought, as Peregrine was in charge, not her. It still was a little bit of a relief to Somnia that her alpha was trying to talk it out, at least until they knew the ivory wolf's intentions.

Somnia let out a small gasp of horror when she caught sight of the wolf's face. She had seen other severe wounds, but none as bad as this. Wait, that was a lie. Somnia had seen worse wounds, but the recipients were..... dead.

Somnia tried imagining the pain that the ivory wolf must be feeling right now. She then mentally scolded herself for it. This was a wolf that could be a threat to her home! She needed to save her sympathy for her pack-mates, not some unlucky stranger!
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Ooc — Victoria
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The need to get out of Stavanger Bay before it could continue to stifle him, to bind him to the land like a panther locked in it's zoo cage had been greater than his reservations of his wife's temper. Her temper Ragnar could deal with, it was the feeling of having no where to go, of being bed ridden that bothered him the very most; but she should have came to expect this from him. She had healed him before and knew how he felt about bed rest. And, it seemed that a lot of things had changed for Peregrine, though he had not expected to see something that he considered if not a friend then at least a close acquaintance at the borders of one of the new packs that Ragnar had been hearing whispers of.

When Peregrine's question came forth, laced with disbelief and what Ragnar came to assume as potential disgust, the Viking physically moved his head once more so that he had both of them in the view of his right eye. “Is it that bad?” Ragnar teased Peregrine, attempting to make it a humorous situation (but not so much as to enrage Odinn) offering a slight cringing grin. At least Odinn had had the decency to not take the eye out of the unmarred side of his face which might have been measurably worse. “A one eyed raven,” Ragnar spoke simply, not wanting to outright name Odinn, not really sure that Peregrine cared, or would believe, it anyway. It was the truth, without getting into Ragnar's faith aspect of it. “I had heard whispers that there were a couple new packs in the Wilds, but the Spine Queen confirmed it when I paid her a visit and I thought I would fulfill my duties as Outrider and make my rounds.” Ragnar spoke his purpose for being there, leaving out the part that he was an insufferable patient and couldn't sit still for the life of him.

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Ooc — Kat
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"Dude," was all Peregrine could manage in response to Ragnar's lighthearted question. "Dude. Yes, it's bad. Holy shit. My eyes are watering just looking at you..." He realized how that sounded, coughed out an uneasy laugh and clarified, "Not because it looks hideous, just... painful. It's actually kind of badass, though," he relented.

"A bird pecked out your eye and you thought it would be a good time to make the rounds?" he said when Ragnar explained his presence here. Peregrine shook his head. "I mean, that's clearly still fresh. How do you walk around with those enormous balls of steel?" he joked crudely, which suddenly made him remember the lady in their presence.

"Ah, Somnia, this is Ragnar, Alpha of Stavanger Bay. Neither one of us really does alliances but we have a mutual personal respect," the swarthy Redleaf-DiSarinno explained. "Ragnar, this is one of the caldera's newer recruits. That's what we call this place: Redhawk Caldera. My mate, Fox, and I rule here. We left the plateau on relatively peaceable terms. Junior still lives there," he said, knowing Ragnar would be interested for both political and personal reasons.
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Ooc — Sydney
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While Somnia found the wounds to be more morbid than badass, it was mainly due to the fact that Ragnar had mentioned that a one-eyed bird did it. Could a bird do that? She thought that it couldn't, but did Ragnar have any reason to lie to them? If anything, it would've made more sense that something more threatening did that, for then he could boast about how he defeated it. Then it would've seemed badass to her. Still puzzled about the wound origins, she decided that she wanted to stay away from one-eyed birds for the time.

As with Peregrine's reference to one of the male reproductive organs, she was unfazed. Somnia had lived with three older brothers before coming to Redhawk Caldera. It was made pretty clear to her early in her life that guys had a profound 'love' of mentioning their balls.

Peregrine then went through the introductions, and Somnia slightly dipped her head in respect to the fellow alpha. Her loyalties did lay with Redhawk Caldera, but Ragnar was an alpha too. As long as they weren't enemies, Ragnar was still more dominant than her. Not wanting to disturb the conversation, she sat respectfully and listened, catching the small tidbit of Redhawk Caldera's origins.
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Ooc — Victoria
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#9

Ragnar let out a soft snort of mild amusement as Peregrine continued to gawk at the gaping hole where his eye had once been. Seeing as how such a wound was nothing new to the Northman, he didn't exactly understand how it made him ballsy, as Peregrine had so lightly put it. Perhaps it was the same thing that allowed the Berserkers and Shield-maidens of his culture to go to battle, fighting like demons, like wolves possessed with no fear of death. It was bred into them, their love of raids and blood, the harshness of their origins. Though the Berserker mushroom did play it's part as well. In battles, and in the circumstance that Ragnar felt pretty good, all things considered. He knew Thistle was disappointed in him that he had turned to them, but in Ragnar's mind they were no different than her poppy seeds, except that, perhaps, the mushrooms provided an extra little kick. “I don't let wounds slow me down,” Even on his death bed Ragnar would likely be doing something. He could not condition himself to lay still. He wasn't the kind of man that “took things easy”. His restless soul (though he still wasn't quite sure what that was) wouldn't allow it.

The Viking offered his ebony companion a cheeky, coy little grin, a characteristic of his,k though his attention focused upon the woman as Peregrine made the introductions, and went to explain the odd relationship that Peregrine and Ragnar shared with one another. Ragnar was past the shock of seeing Peregrine here as opposed to Blacktail Deer Plateau by this point, so it did not come as a surprise when Peregrine admitted that he and his mate ruled at their Redhawk Caldera. The last word was strange, and Ragnar made no attempts to repeat it, fairly certain that his accent would ruin it. Some common tongue words were better left unsaid by the Scandinavian. It was curious, given that Peregrine had led Blacktail Deer Plateau why he would decide to start up a new pack somewhere else. To Ragnar it would be no different than him leaving Stavanger Bay and creating another pack somewhere else, leaving behind the members that depended upon him. Perhaps, though, it was different. After all Stavanger Bay had been built upon Ragnar's faith, and the hard work of his founding members, barely little of whom were alive, and, or resided there anymore. Still, it wasn't Ragnar's business and so he did not inquire.

The news that Junior had returned to the Plateau both soothed the uneasy beast that had taken hold of him when Ragnar had heard that she had joined up with a bunch of elitist women, however, and a soft sigh of relief left his lips. “So she decided that the elitist women club wasn't right for her after all?” Ragnar inquired rhetorically with a softness, “Good. I should go visit her soon,” Ragnar murmured, though this was mostly to himself. He missed her as he missed his own daughter. “My daughter Gyda has gone missing, or perhaps she has ran away with my ex priestess wife, Nerian,” Ragnar truly didn't know. “My son, Mercury has gone after her, but if you could keep eyes or ears open, Thistle and I would greatly appreciate it.” Gyda had always been a quiet, reclusive child and Ragnar feared for his precious Viking Princess more than he cared to admit to anyone except Thistle and the girl in question.

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Ooc — Kat
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With everything that had happened since then, Peregrine had almost forgotten about Junior's involvement with the Nereides. A brief fling it had been, thankfully, nothing more than a temporary flight of fancy. He laughed dryly and replied, "Yes, she came to her senses and returned to the plateau. She's not a big fan of mine right now but I'm sure she'd be happy to see you." It was a bit difficult to say that out loud, especially so cavalierly, but he managed a wan smile which only drooped when Ragnar went on to mention his own missing daughter.

"You have an ex-wife? Did I know about that?" the swarthy leader wondered aloud. "And a missing daughter too... Ragnar, you and I are two birds of a feather, unfortunately." Of course, he didn't realize that Ragnar had taken two wives at the same time rather than consecutively, thus giving them more in common than he actually knew. "Sure, I'll keep an eye out and send word if I see or hear anything." Hell, he would take Gyda in if she happened to stumble by the caldera, if only to pay it forward after what Ragnar and Thistle had done for Junior back in the day. He thought it very unlikely that it would happen that way, though he didn't say that aloud.

"Aside from its Alpha getting turned into a cyclops and a few members missing in action, how is the bay faring?" Peregrine asked. Aside from the plateau, the bay was the only pack whose affairs actually interested him somewhat. That thought prompted him to add, "You know... when I left the plateau, it changed the game a little. I offered to consider our packs sisters. I have no reason to believe my offer will be rejected, as I've made sure to mend any bridges I burned by leaving. If you were interested, we might extend the same consideration to the bay. An alliance, if you will. I'd have to pass it by Fox but I wanted to throw the idea out there."
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Ooc — Sydney
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#11
(Somnia's going to take her leave now, let the alphas discuss their stuff.)

Beginning to feel like an intruder, Somnia got to her feet. The two alphas had started getting into discussion about the packs' relationship, as well as a few personal affairs. She had sat there silently the whole time, and wasn't really part of the meeting beside the small introduction. "I'm going to leave you two to your business now." Somnia said with a respectful head dip before padding off far into the territory.
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Ooc — Victoria
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#12

Ragnar watched as Peregrine's subordinate rose, dismissed herself and left. If he were a different kind of man he might have felt guilty about nearly excluding her from his and Peregrine's conversation, but he wasn't a different kind of man. His gaze did not linger upon her disappearing form, instead returning back to Peregrine when the other man let out a dry laugh and responded that Junior wasn't on good terms with him currently. He didn't comment on the fact that Junior would probably be happy to see him, he couldn't say for sure because it had been a while since they had last seen one another, but he would make good on his promise and go visit her. “No, it's recent,” Given, that Peregrine likely wasn't aware of Ragnar's polygamy relationship might have been confusing, the Viking considered. “I had a polygamy relationship for a short while, it was a mistake,” Ragnar said coolly, feeling irritation and betrayal rise like an ugly beast within the confines of his chest. “I am lucky that Thistle loves me still, however.” Because it was just the two of them now, as it would be forever more. He had tried to take more than one wife and it had bit him directly in the ass. “Thank you. We do not know if she would return or seek shelter elsewhere in the Wilds,” Granted, it was a vain hope. Ragnar was fairly sure that he would never see Gyda or Mercury again, and if he didn't then at least it was their choice but he wished they would have stayed. They were his children, no matter what. “Maybe if Thistle and I have children this coming year I can convince them to stay,” Ragnar spoke dryly, with a coy smirk that didn't at all reflect how he felt inside. No matter what was said to him he would always feel that, as a parent, he was somehow at fault for his daughter's disappearance, never mind that he suspected Nerian had ran off with her.

“We are small but the wolves that stand behind me seem to be extremely loyal,” They weren't overflowing with wolves but they were at least swimming as opposed to sinking. To say that Ragnar did not worry about such things would be a lie, and if he were to lose his Bay then he was not sure what he would do but he doubted he would stay in the Wilds. He could not go back to being a subordinate. Not when, in truth, he'd be plotting his take over the entire time, and there was nothing that said starting a pack anew would make it more prosperous than it had been before. Though Ragnar did not linger upon such things, he kept them as considerations for if the worst should come to pass. Peregrine's following words, however, managed to recapture the Viking's attention, surprising the Northman. Accepting a proposal of an alliance between Stavanger Bay and Redhawk Caldera would go against what Ragnar vehemently stood for; and if the Jarl recalled correctly Peregrine had shared in that sentiment himself. There were so many reasons why Ragnar did not believe in them, so many ways that they could go wrong, and Odinn's Cove had done well being solitary. Not concerning themselves with the other packs in the Eldingar Valley, it had worked extremely well because their neighboring packs were subjected to raids, at the mercy of the Berserkers. Yet, Stavanger Bay wasn't Odinn's Cove — Ragnar's effort to re-create his birth pack had failed though this was mostly because it's life blood was too diverse. Ragnar had his traditions but he could not force them upon any of the others that wasn't how conversion worked.

Ragnar understood what it signified, and in turn understood that if he accepted the proposal that he would not only look like a liar, or if not as extreme a man who went back on his word, but that it was also a huge act of faith ...and trust. Even if they never had to call on one another to take up arms to defend their allied pack. The Viking hesitated for a moment, considering things, weighing the pros and cons that he could visibly see, but he, like Peregrine, would need to seek the council of his wife before he proceeded with a solid yes, or no. “I should seek my Queen's opinion before I make a decision on the matter,” Ragnar confided to Peregrine, but Ragnar was heavily considering Peregrine's proposal.

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#13
When Somnia excused herself, Peregrine felt a bit guilty for not including her in the conversation. He disapproved of her dismissing herself without asking him first or properly saying goodbye to their guest, though he didn't stop her. He gave her back a mildly disapproving look. She had just squandered a wonderful opportunity to learn more about the pack's relations with others.

Turning back to Ragnar, he apologized for his subordinate's rudeness and then promptly returned to the discussion at hand. "If you like, you can send an Outrider once you and Thistle have arrived at a decision. Obviously, it can wait until spring if the weather's not cooperative. There's certainly no rush."

Peregrine shifted his weight and touched back on the topic of polyamorous relationships. "I can't imagine having two wives, by the way. I don't think Fox would ever stand for that," he mused, "although..." He paused, wondering whether Ragnar would be disturbed by what the swarthy male revealed next. "I had a male lover. It ended civilly, though I'm not sure that I'll ever take another. I'm not sure our species was built for that type of thing."
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Ooc — Victoria
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#14

Ragnar shook off Peregrine's apology for his subordinate, having not been offended by the woman's behavior, and feeling that even if he had Peregrine should not have taken the fall for it, though if the situations were reversed Ragnar probably would have shouldered the blame himself, then again he was not often in the habit of apologizing for his subordinates for he barely apologized for himself. “It might give one of the ones aiming for the trade a chance to prove themselves at it,” Ragnar murmured to Peregrine's suggestion that Thistle and him could always send an outrider to relay their decision when they reached one. It was certainly true that they could do that. Or Ragnar could always tell Peregrine himself, considering that he was, currently, the only outrider in the pack. It was nice to know, however, that there was no time limit on Peregrine's offer of an alliance. Even thinking the word felt strange, let alone actually considering it. The Viking was used to being solitary with his pack, if for the main fact that he distrusted upon default, and at any rate, any pack relations that could have been well in Odinn's Cove was vastly ruined by the fact that the Northmen raided their neighbor packs. Granted, Ragnar hadn't raided in...nearly a year now which made him feel, by far and large too “domesticated”. He had raided Wheeling Gull Isle's stores as soon as he found out they were no longer a pack, not that it had rewarded him with much, but no one had actively been living there at the time. Ragnar would be lying if he said he did not miss the thrill of the fight and of claiming the prizes: meat, medicinal, and canine alike.

“It was ...interesting,” And while he had considered that Nerian truly would assist in giving him children, good even. Except that he was fairly certain that for quite some time Thistle had absolutely loathed him. “Thistle was so angry with me, though, despite that she agreed to it,” But that was likely because Ragnar had a way of getting what he wanted and truly did not feel like he needed to seek anyone's permission, the single exception being Odinn's. But Ragnar revered the All-Father, like a surrogate father to replace the hole that Eitri had left in his wake when Bjorn (the original) had killed him. Ragnar let out a soft, thoughtful noise when Peregrine admitted that he'd had a male lover. The idea had never really struck Ragnar as a possibility because as Peregrine said their species wasn't really built for it, but even so Ragnar didn't see an issue with it. As it was the Viking people only judged when a man cheated on his wife, and did not really judged based on one's sexuality. They were surprisingly tolerant despite the fact that they were savage, feral, and that most would easily consider them uncivilized, though that was not the case.

“Are you planning on having more children in the coming months?” Ragnar inquired to be ...personable but also because there was a genuine interest. Ragnar hardly had any “friends” these days, especially with the deaths of Julooke and Verrine, and he was starting to feel the loss greatly.

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Only after the words left his mouth did Peregrine recognize the double entendre. He chuckled to himself, though the noise didn't last long. He waited for Ragnar's response, bracing himself in case he was met with disapproval or disgust. But save for a thoughtful sound, the other Alpha made no comment, so the tension began to ease out of Peregrine's muscles.

They moved onto another subject, a welcome one. "Oh, yeah. We definitely are. Fox and I are planning on no less than a dozen," he replied with a genuine and wolfish grin. "How about you and Thistle?" he asked, although he would've put money on the answer being yes, of course. If only he had money...
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#16

Ragnar was not overly surprised when Peregrine admitted that he and his wife, Fox, were planning on having children in the upcoming season. Children were a lot of work, but they were worth the tireless nights and long hours. The prospect of having his own children was an exciting one. Not to mention if he and Thistle did have a litter then it meant that Odinn was making good on his promise from many years ago and that Ragnar did not sacrifice so very much for absolutely nothing. Odinn and him had not been on the best, or most agreeable terms as of late, which might have been where the chaos that was recently surrounding the Bay, in Ragnar's mind, had stemmed from. If taking his eye had appeased the All-Father for the rest of Ragnar's life, no matter how long or short it was Fated to be then it was worth the loss, as far as Ragnar was concerned. The Gods were notorious for giving with one hand and taking from the other, though, and though the Northman did his best to hide it, he was still weary. But they were alike now: Odinn and Ragnar. It had been rumored, passed from father to son that his family was descended from the All-Father himself. Whether that was the truth or not Ragnar did not presently know.

“A dozen, hm?” Ragnar murmured thoughtfully, breaking himself out of his thoughts which had wandered only marginally. “That is a lot of children,” Ragnar was not sure that he could ever handle that many children at a time, and of course the Viking caught the humor in it since litters typically did not exceed four. “If the Bay is stable enough to handle more children when the time comes, then yes,” Ragnar hated the words as they spilled forth from his lips, disgusted (because he was selfish sometimes) that he had to sacrifice what he wanted most in the world, if the pack was not. Facing facts right now: he'd say no. He did not think the pack was stable enough, their members too scarce and seemingly, from his stand point not driven. If not for Thistle and himself taking the orphaned Ostrega children in he had little doubt that they would have perished. Maybe not, maybe one of his subordinates would have surprised him, but he did not know, nor care.

“If not, then no,” Not to mention, Ragnar wasn't confident that he should be having more children. After all, only one of his children had remained in the Bay, and only two of Verrine and Julooke's children hadn't been kidnapped or whatever. He was failing miserably at the father thing. “Perhaps I should not, though. I can't even keep the orphaned litter we'd taken it safe. Two has either been kidnapped, killed or ran away of their own free will.” And by the time that Ragnar or Thistle had caught word of it, it'd been too little too late and Ragnar did not have the man power to send out hunting parties for them. “Not to mention my daughter ran away, and Mercury too.” Though Mercury was a little bit of a different case. “Maybe that is the Gods telling me that I should not continue.” Being Jarl, or being a father, the Viking wasn't exactly sure at the moment. Perhaps, it was a sign of both.

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It surprised Peregrine when Ragnar professed to a conditional approach to parenthood in the spring. He supposed it made sense, though as long as he and Thistle had one another, that was technically enough to support a litter. Additional subordinates were a bonus but, of course, they came at a price too: more mouths to feed. There was always a balance to be struck in there somewhere. Peregrine knew full well that, no matter the condition of the caldera, he and Fox would be rearing a litter come springtime. Even if tragedy struck and the caldera's ranks dwindled down to just two of them, they would not relinquish their dream.

Ragnar's next words earned a pensive look from Peregrine, who then spoke. "Keep in mind that it's typical for more than half of our offspring not to make it to adulthood," he pointed out gently. It was a morbid fact but a biological reality. "And chicks are meant to leave the nest," he added, "though I totally sympathize. Some of mine left too early as well and not under the best of circumstances. But you can't beat yourself up about it, Ragnar, or let it hold you back. They can't all stay. They shouldn't all stay. And, as horrible as it might sound, they're not all meant to survive, either. It's the circle of life and shit," he finished with a switch of his tail.

Again, he understood the Viking's misgivings, though. He would try to keep his own advice in mind should he and Fox lose any of their pups to death or disappearance, though Peregrine knew it would be very hard. The risk was worth the reward, though, and again nothing would stop the Alpha pair from doing what they'd been born to do: bring new life into the world to carry on the legacy of their united bloodline.

"I know I'm an outsider who knows next to nothing about your day-to-day family life. But you took in my daughter when she would have died otherwise, so I think I can say with some authority that you are as good a father as any, Ragnar."
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#18
Since Liyani was supposed to have slipped out during the chaos of Ragnar's injury I'm going to say that he knows she's missing by this point. :-)

Ragnar had always prided himself on being a good leader, though these days he questioned that logic, wondering if his youth and ego had gotten in the way and made him blind to the harsh reality. He had envisioned that he was a fair and dedicated Jarl much like his father before him, but these days he felt more and more like Björn than he had ever felt — even when he had went by his deceased brother's name, masquerading about with it as if it were a bloody crown he could wear. There were many parts of the Viking that yearned to be selfish in the respect of the Bay, to populate it with his own flesh and blood. Odinn had promised him many sons and thus to his knowledge he only had ever produced one living son. Which wasn't overly impressive. And, for the most part, had been an accident. So far, at almost four years of age he was slacking, missed two viable reproduction years. Perhaps that was why he'd been so adamant on the whole Nerian thing (though that came back to bite him in the ass viciously) because with two wives he could make up for the lost years. Or perhaps Ragnar had simply misinterpreted Odinn's message, taking the promise of “many sons” to mean only flesh and blood. But there was Týrr, his captive turned son that hated him but was still family, regardless, and then was Mercury and Gunnar, and though he did not strive to become a father to them he saw them as sons regardless: Charon and Levi. That was a good start to the “many sons” the All-Father had promised him.

Looking at it in that respect, Ragnar felt a little bit callous for being angry with the All-Father.

“I know,” Ragnar responded when Peregrine pointed out that half the offspring didn't usually make it to adulthood. “I know,” The Viking repeated in a softened voice. “But it does not make it easy when they look up to you to protect them and you fail them. With the death of dear friends, Thistle and I have adopted their children, or the three that were left. The girl she...went missing or maybe died. I do not know and the Gods will not tell me. I cannot keep what is left of their family together, and it is harder still to admit to them that I do not have all the answers and that there is nothing that I can do.” He wasn't necessarily looking for advice or anything, merely it was nice to let it off his chest. He had kept it bottled up so tight, not wanting to tell Thistle that Charon, especially, had been angry about Liyani for the fear that it would upset her, until it physically made him sick. Ragnar's problem he suspected, was that he was trying to be the hero when he'd always been destined for the role of anti-hero. He couldn't change his fate. His culture was seen as heathens, vicious, feral. Those weren't wrong; but the Vikings were not entirely heartless. They had families, and loved ones. And not being able to protect his family felt like a failure.

“I am getting better,” Ragnar conceded with a soft chuckle. Peregrine hadn't seen him get irritated at his three Mercury, Gunnar, and Gyda when they were small, unsure as the Jarl had been how to deal with small infants. It was all trial and error — rearing children. He was better prepared when they took in Julooke and Verrine's litter, and they would be even more experienced when Thistle and him had their own.

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#19
Ragnar went on to reveal the broader breadth of his losses, which included the deaths of some dear friends and the loss of one of their offspring. Peregrine's mind immediately went to Pied and her bereft widower. He and Hawkeye had taken Saena and Pura in and raised them as their own children, particularly when Kisu had gradually faded from the picture. Losing one of those two would have been—would be—no different than losing one of his biological daughters. Had it been Saena or Pura, not Junior, who had nearly died only to be rescued by Ragnar and Thistle, he would have felt no differently on the matter. He could empathize, to make a long story short.

"You're absolutely right, Ragnar. Even if we know that it's inevitable to lose loved ones, be they young or old, it doesn't make it any easier. I'm sorry for your losses. And no one has all the answers, nor even most of them. If we did, we would not be wolves. We would be gods or whatever else," he mused with a swish of his tail. "If there's anything I can do for you, let me know."
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#20
Ragnar hadn't admitted the things that he faced to Peregrine for sympathy, merely he needed to get it off of his chest having locked it up so tight. Despite how the Viking acted most days, despite what front he put on to others, or what others assumed of him even, he wasn't heartless. Sure, he did things that other wolves likely found appalling, he was ambitious and would do whatever it took to see that his goals were met, whatever it took without morals to hold him back but he was still canine and had feelings like everyone else, for what ever such a thing was worth. He felt pain and sorrow, love and anger. He was not bereft of emotions, simply he chose not to show them to those that he did not consider himself close too. There was a lot of things on the scarred Northman's mind lately, some thoughts much darker than others. “Sometimes I wonder if being a God would be easier,” Ragnar murmured absently, since Peregrine had brought it up. “But they too have hard decisions to make.” Decisions, the Viking knew, that were much harder than what he, as a mere mortal had to make. It was easy to use them as a scapegoat, to blame them for the wrong doings that had happened in his life, but in reality he knew, deep down, that their decisions were weighed carefully for the affected so much more than his own decisions did.

Perhaps there was no such thing as an easy life. It was just a fantasized concept that brought with it envy when it simply appeared that another had it “easy”. “Thank you,” The Viking spoke in a rare, appreciative tone. He was not sure what to exactly do with Peregine's sentiment, not used to having others be sympathetic towards him (and not entirely sure if he liked it). Ragnar did not seek pity, nor did he truly want it. It was just nice to share with someone he considered a friend, and sometimes it was nice speaking to someone else other than Thistle about things. Ragnar didn't really have friends — well he did but they majority resided in Odinn's Cove. Ragnar loved Thistle and confessed many things to her but most days they spent bickering with one another, and it was nice to talk with another wolf without getting into a yelling match, for once. “Likewise, if you or yours ever need anything I extend the courtesy as well.” Though their first meeting might not have gone off all that well — then again Ragnar had threatened to kill his brother — it was perhaps ironic and surprising to look at them now, and consider the fact that they were discussing being allies something that Ragnar had never would have before considered.

The tide was changing, it would seem, and Ragnar was weary but not unwelcoming to it.

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#21
Peregrine wanted to reply to Ragnar's remark with, Of course! Being a god would be a piece of cake. He held his tongue though, especially in light of the northerner's next words. The Redleaf-DiSarinno did not himself believe in gods nor take them seriously, though he respected others' faiths, like Ragnar's. He seemed to have a pretty clear idea of what gods were and were not and Peregrine wasn't going to step on any toes with his blasé jokes.

By now, the sun had set on the pair of Alpha wolves and Peregrine felt the conversation had reached its natural conclusion. He favored Ragnar with a wan smile, then said, "Until next time, then? Safe travels back to the bay, Ragnar. I hope you find some answers. If not, at least some peace." He paused, then when the Viking began the long trek back to the coastline, Peregrine turned and slowly climbed the slopes, eager to rest after a long day.