Redhawk Caldera Exes and ohs

Peregrine continued to pour words out at Pantaleimon, who found it hard to give all of the words a place. He didn't see why they couldn't see each other if he'd get a mate. Perry had a mate, and he had Pan, too. Fox understood — who was to say that Pan's future mate would not? After all, if she'd turn him away on something small like that, was she even worth birthing his future pups? She'd just have to accept that he was with Perry, too.

"It would just be a sham," Pantaleimon muttered unhappily, barely audible, as he realised that what Perry was saying to him was what Pan would need to say to a future female. He wanted to be a father, but would it really be right to conceive his future children while the only one he thought of was Perry?

Pantaleimon's brow knit together in a sorrowful frown while he tried to sort through his thoughts and think of something clever to say. Nothing popped to mind but a squeaky: "Don't you want me in your life and your pups' lives? I love you..." All of you. Pan didn't want to give up Perry to gain something completely uncertain. Maybe Pan would never get what he wanted in regards to puppies. Pan had come to accept that maybe the way he felt his life should be was silly. He'd never be female, no matter how much he wanted. But he could have Perry, and that made him happy. And when he was with Wildfire, Raven or Nightjar, it was almost like he was with his own pups. It was the closest he was going to get, and the thought of not being with Perry made Pan work hard to control his tears each time it passed his mind.