Redhawk Caldera Exes and ohs

When Perry came into motion, eventually Pantaleimon followed suit. His legs felt wobbly and like they wouldn't hold. Perry told him to give things some thought, but all Pan wanted was for things to be normal again. And it was clear they wouldn't be, because Perry sounded like he had already made his decisions. Whether it was really because Perry felt like he knew better what was good for Pan, or because he wanted out but found it too hard to tell, Pantaleimon felt like nothing he'd say would change a thing.

"I'll think about it," Pantaleimon said, although he didn't sound like he wanted to, or thought that thinking would change his mind at all.

Perry asked if anything would need to change, and Pan's ears slid back against his skull as he shot Perry a hurt look. While the subject of sex was one that was frightening to Pantaleimon, even after all this time, it was also something that he had always thought they would explore after Perry — and then Pan [/mdash] got better from his injury. "I thought you wanted..." he said, frowning. "I thought we were still exploring.. that.." But it seemed that with the havering in their health, so those plans had skidded to a halt without Pantaleimon even noticing it. He didn't even know if he wanted it, and perhaps that was why Pan hadn't brought it up himself, perfectly content with snuggling and spending time together.

"I.. I couldn't call you my lover, or tell you that I love you, or snuggle up real close-like and snuggle into your fur when I fall asleep," Pantaleimon said, and he felt emotion tremor his voice as he spoke, at the thought of losing all of those things. Of losing Perry.