Redhawk Caldera lost in you

It was still very unclear to Pan what it meant, precisely, to be 'family'. He was feeling as though his definition of the word and that of Perry's weren't exactly the same. Did Perry mean family in the broad sense of the word, like he considered all of the pack family, or did he really mean family? Lasher's words resounded in Pan's head, reminding Pan of what a selfish creature Perry was; but Pan then reminded himself that he didn't even know the guy he'd met in the berry field all that well. And he knew Perry. He wasn't going to let a stranger's opinion of someone change things for him, was he..?

Pan swallowed and gathered his courage while he said: "Why not? I mean, not... I know I won't really be, I know that. But if... if we're a family, then why not sort of? I mean, I — what does that make me? What parts do I come in and don't? I guess I just can't really... picture how things will be. And I... I thought I'd be sort of more like a full part of this, but..." Obviously he'd thought wrong on that, their previous conversation had pointed out. Pan wasn't sure how to explain his question, because it was all frumpled in his mind, too. He was fine with being 'Pan' and not mommy or daddy, but he wasn't fine with being snapped away from them or not being included in special occasions. More than anything, Pan just wanted to be a part of this. And be by Perry's side.

Pantaleimon looked a little uneasy as Peregrine brought up the fact he'd referred to himself as a 'she'; it had gone unnoticed to Pan until it was brought to light. "Oh... You're right." Pan smiled lightly, looking a little caught out. "I... I guess I'm just used to uhm, not talking about it, 'cause it's just so... weird." Even Pantaleimon thought it weird, so how could anyone else not?