Silverlight Terrace On The Road Again

Though she tried to keep her face neutral, she was surprised by what he said next. In a way, she couldn't blame him for killing the wolf that had sired him. That male had killed his mother and siblings, had raped his mother. His loss was not a horrible thing to the world, she thought. It surprised her that he had killed the whole pack, though. Had they deserved it? Did it matter if they had? Pyx had never been a very violent wolf, she prefered to talk things over or to flee. It was clear that Judas was haunted by his actions though, a mistake of vengeful youth.

He turned from her as he spoke and she frowned as the tale unfolded more and more. So he had been a killer, more than a few, he had killed many. It was frightening to think of the wolf before her doing such things. She couldn't picture it as hard as she tried. Judas seemed so calm and kind, it all seemed a joke. She didn't know who Mitanni was, but it was a name that had been mentioned with Malice. She was again surprised as he mentioned he had attacked his friend. He turned to face her, and she met his gaze. Her eyes were sad and full of confusion and shock, but she did not look away from him.

"Oh Judas." She breathed, overwhelmed by his questions and emotions. The word love made her eyes grow wide, and she swallowed. "Judas...I'm not sure how to answer your question. Who am I to judge your past? I did not live it, I did not see it. I know the wolf who stands before me, who has been kind and intelligent. The wolf before me is not a bad wolf. We are not rocks and mountains that never change." 

"We are living, we are moving and changing and feeling. Perhaps some days you were a bad wolf, but that does not mean you are a bad wolf now. That doesn't mean you have to be a bad wolf ever again." She paused to consider things, hoping what she said wasn't hurtful to him. What he had done in his past were not good things, she wouldn't sweep that away to spare his feelings. She wouldn't lie. 

"If I loved you and you attacked me..." She said slowly, watching him. "I think I would still love you. I might be angry, or upset, but love is not a weed you can remove so easily. If I loved you, and knew you, I would know that you attacked out of fear and not maliciousness. Or even that you attacking me was not something normal for you. I could forgive you, if we talked and you explained, if you wouldn't turn from me." She believed this, believed that love could survive almost anything. Were she attacked by a wolf she loved, she would want an explanation before she turned her back on them. She wouldn't leave without a word, she might be fearful to face them at first...but she would face them.

"You are not a bad wolf today Judas." She said, her voice strong. "That is what is important. The past cannot be changed but your future can, you can. That is what is important." It was hard to wrap her head around, but she believed what she said. She didn't believe a wolf would be damned for past actions, if they truly wanted to change and regret their past. If Judas were to continue killing wolves, to be ruthless and cruel, then yes he would be a bad wolf. As it was, the Judas she knew was not a wolf who did such things. She understood a little more now, about him. "Is that why you know poisons so well?" She asked, realizing.

She watched him a moment, then applied a little pressure to her paw where it rest on his. Not enough to cause pain, but a small reassuring squeeze. Judas' life had started painfully. She understood where the emotions from this might cause him to be vengeful, and he'd been swept away by it. It was a terrible, horrible thing...but she didn't think it made him unredeemable. She didn't think it made him horrible. She realized she was biased though, for if she'd been told that another wolf she didn't know or care about was a murderer...she'd likely have thought them a bad wolf altogether.

It was different with Judas though, because she'd known Judas. It was a lot to consider, a lot of things she'd never thought about before. This entire trip had turned into more than she would have ever expected. As she looked at Judas she realized she didn't feel fearful of him, she only felt sad for him. Sad for the pain that he had gone through as a child that had made him do the things he had, and sad for the pain that he had caused himself by doing such bad things. In her heart of hearts she believed people were allowed to change, they were allowed to better themselves. Judas was not a bad wolf. Not anymore.

Poor Pyx is so confused and overwhelmed.