Stone Circle Matters of life

The hope sputtered out as soon as Valette began speaking but Cebra had been expecting it, so she simply listened quietly. Her one ear flattened back as shame and guilt filled her chest making her heart feel heavy as Valette spoke about Mawk. She hadn't known that, the fact that he had been in so much pain he'd stopped caring for himself. She swallowed back a lump in her throat and avoided looking into Valette's eyes and face altogether. 

How was it that the alphaess knew more about Mawk's suffering than she did? She tucked down the slight annoyance and ..was that jealousy? No..she wouldn't be jealous of Valette, there was no reason to be she knew that. Valette's explanation also made sense, alot of sense. She realized she had rushed into the decision to want more pups without really thinking about it. 

Tears moistened her eyes but not because of the decision that Valette had made but because she realized how much of a mess she was. "I..I'm a bad mother...I guess I thought having a second litter would be a second chance...a way to raise a good proper group of children" she began in a tremulous voice, the facade of calmness and happiness she had been putting on since Cyron's return beginning to break.

"But this litter still needs me. Burr will be coming home and Cyron...there's something off about him. I mean he was kidnapped and probably tortured but..he's..broken and I can't figure out how to fix it. I havent even tried to have some alone time with Mawk, I feel so guilty about deliberately staying away from him and Easthollow that I can barely bring myself to look at him" she spilled it all out in a rush and then sat there physically shaking as she tried to hold back the grief and guilt and tears.

"I..I'm sorry. I shouldn't have unloaded that on you.." she whispered and hung her head.