Stone Circle circle of stones

Though his mother had encouraged him to speak up, Nikai couldn't help but feel guilty when she responded to his statement. His ears fell as he watched her face and could tell that she was having a hard time processing this. Nikai didn't really want to leave — he wanted to be there for Valette, just like he'd always been, and just as she had been there for him... But he also wanted to find himself, and find out what life was really about. With spring on its way it seemed the best time, but at the same time it was the worst — but then, it'd always been the worst in some ways, for last year he had had this same discussion with himself and had decided to stay for all the same reasons.

She said that it'd make her sad, just at the moment he was about to say 'never mind' or 'maybe some day, but I don't know if now is the time'. She told him that if his calling was outside of Easthollow that he should go after it, a thing he desperately wanted, but still his heart was torn between his own needs and those of his family.

"I'm sorry about making you sad," he murmured. "I don't... I just sometimes don't really know who I am. Do you know that feeling..? Maybe it's because Keoni's gone, now. We always wanted to travel together sometime, and now she's gone and we never got to do that. I don't want to leave forever — I just want to get to know... me, I guess." He wasn't sure if she would understand, and Nikai looked at his paws with a guilty frown on his face. He wanted so badly to just stay here forever, but he wasn't sure if that's what he needed. He didn't want to be old one day and full of what if's, or worse, die one day and never even getting to those.